Where should I start?

[AuntL]

I am a 39 year old female. I first started noticing my hair thinning and falling out around 2012 and I went to see a dermatologist shortly after it started. The doctor looked at my scalp (barely even touching my hair), asked me a few questions and told me I have either pattern baldness, alopecia or telegen effluvium. (Seriously? You cant narrow it down?? Ugh) No blood work, nothing. He seemed like he could not have cared any less about why I was there. He told me to go get some Rogaine. I went to the pharmacy and the pharmacist mentioned that you have to take Rogaine consistently and that I will lose my hair again if I stop using it. I decided against it and that was that.

Over the years since that visit, my hair has continued to thin and fall out (in huge, scary clumps), but it was on and off. It was really bad when I got sick in 2014 and lost 50 lbs. I have also had a few surgeries over the years as well, and a couple of stressful life events. I avoided going to see a doctor because I didnt want to feel the way that dermatologist made me feel.

So today I went to see another dermatologist. I told him the horrible experience I had with that other doctor years ago. He was definitely more sympathetic and was at least able to narrow it down to pattern baldness, but he too barely moved around my hair or do a pull test. I asked about blood work, specifically iron, ferritin, hormones and thyroid. He said if I had any issues with low or high levels, I would have other symptoms, plus "low iron doesnt cause my type of hair loss". He told me to go get some Rogaine.

I mentioned some symptoms I've had (and some that I still have) that I thought might be related, but it was like he was done with the visit and didnt care. Ugh. Should I just suck it up and admit that I am stuck with Rogaine for the rest of my life? I dont have a family history of hair loss - even the men in my family. I just dont know what to do.

Where did you all start when you began noticing your hair loss?