life is shitty right now...

[KeepTheHair]

Wow, this thread is so depressing... Guys, get over it.

YOUR THOUGHT PROCESSES are the cause of your problems, not your baldness.

No.

As my hair has been getting better so have my mental state. Humans operate in the following manner(this is going to sound stupid/crazy): If an experience stays constant it gets "boring" etc and they aren't happy with it anymore. We always seek improvement. So, when your hair gets worse and worse...this can be incredibly annoying and life changing. You have to change who you are. The image you want of yourself dies and you become someone you don't want to be.



I agree though, this whole thing and thinking about it doesn't really make it any better. People really should just try to move on....but I don't blame them for not being able to. Hair loss really sucks. Saying baldness is not the cause here is just simply ignorant.

[Fixed by 35]

I'm not depressed. I'm just a realist, that's all.

I've come to terms with the fact that I have a second rate scalp, that occasionally it will be a set back and occasionally it won't and best of all, I have a free pass to be a slob because nothing, absolutely nothing, will do any good. I can focus on study, you know - the internal stuff, because the external stuff is a lost cause and shouldn't matter anyway.

I've also reminded myself that although I'll never be pleased with my appearance, I was never really someone who cared much about appearance before 'it' started! I don't need to be panicked into going to the gym or shaving my head, because I don't give a damn what anyone else thinks. My response to anyone who thinks 'thinning hair, yuck, shave it off!' is simple; could you be bothered to cut your hair three times every single week for the rest of your life, just to please others?

The best thing about my new philosophy is there's no chance of relapse. I'm not one of those fools who thinks anyone can look good bald. They're setting themselves up for a fall sometime in the future when they have doubts about their theory. On the other hand, I've learned to be ugly and to not allow it to prevent me being successful. I have no cherished thoughts that are easy to undermine, I am now bullet proof.

Best of all, I also have optimism. I expect to be balding for five more years. Then one of the research companies, such as Histogen which recently raised double the capital they were looking for in their Series A issue which closed this week, will bring out the cure. I'll go from unsightly and bald to just ugly and hairy. And if I focus the next five years on study, then my future is very bright.

I'll be a qualified lawyer with a full head of hair! Or, if Histogen let me down, at least as a British lawyer I'm expected to wear a wig at work!!!!

[Fixed by 35]

So, when your hair gets worse and worse...this can be incredibly annoying and life changing. You have to change who you are. The image you want of yourself dies and you become someone you don't want to be.

This raises an interesting point about why baldness is depressing, especially at a young age. For those of us who started losing hair at the beginning of our 20s, or even earlier, it's worth bearing in mind it happened just as we were 'setting out in the world.'

For all our friends, I would assume, everything was on the up. Education, careers, independence. For us, though, this was all tainted with baldness. So, remember, even when we get over it later, we still had a tainted youth spent worrying about the sort of thing that a 50 year old should be worrying about.

But why, some people may ask, is baldness so bad. Well, think about it. Baldness is a sign of aging and aging is a sign of death. It's a bit depressing when the first signs of death appear before you've even left school! I'm not sure if there are any comparisons, but I guess as it's an appearance thing it might be worth asking how someone would like to start dressing like their father when they reach 20.

So, baldness is a decline at the starting line. We're like the racehorses who back out at the starting gate!

I think the other fear is perception. It's all very well saying baldness is no big deal, but I think subsconciously it is for a lot of people. I think a lot of people fear those who shave their heads and do not get a positive first impression when they meet them; that's not helpful at a job interview. All we want to do is conform, but instead we have a look that is intimidating. No one wants to intimidate others in a way that they cannot control.

[jooder]

It really is sad to watch 'fixedby35' decline into mental illness....

''The interaction with others is also far more simple than people sometimes like to suggest. It can be summed up in one line. Mature people don't consciously care about your hair loss, but sub-consciously they do. (I guess that's why so many women post that bald is sexy on the internet, then go out with a man with hair)''

Maybe women post that bald is sexy because they actually like it. Full stop.

[Fixed by 35]

Oh you are so naive.

Look, I'm in a happy place right now, but unlike you I can't be knocked off my perch, because I have both accepted baldness and ugliness and learned of a way to live with it. Until you reconcile the fact that you're bald and ugly, there's always a risk for you to relapse.

I've learned that my appearance is inconsequential which allows me to be a realist and an optimist at the same time.

[jooder]

Oh you are so naive.

Look, I'm in a happy place right now, but unlike you I can't be knocked off my perch, because I have both accepted baldness and ugliness and learned of a way to live with it. Until you reconcile the fact that you're bald and ugly, there's always a risk for you to relapse.

I've learned that my appearance is inconsequential which allows me to be a realist and an optimist at the same time.

Glad to see the medication is working..... you are seeming much more positive. Well done for asking for help

[Fixed by 35]

No medication for me. I'm just on the up since I quit my job and haven't had to leave the house for a month. Well, to clarify, I work for myself and only have to go out for food.

It means I'm now the master of my own destiny, so it doesn't matter that I am disfigured and ugly. My success no longer depends upon the prejudice of some floppy haired prat of a boss.

[jooder]

My last post was obviously tongue in cheek...... however, i do feel that you have some sort of mild mental illness.
Only leaving your house for food and referring to yourself as disfigured and ugly is not good. I wouldnt wish that kind of self esteem on my worst enemy. Hopefully things change for you.......but cutting yourself off from society is not the answer.

[Fixed by 35]

I wouldn't say it's a self esteem issue. I have a lot of confidence in myself. There are a lot of things worse than being ugly and disfigured, like being retarded or blind.

I'm just a realist when it comes to social relations. I have far more chance of success working for myself and avoiding social contact than I do interacting with people, who are inherently judgmental, on a daily basis.

I spent years letting my baldness hold me back, being passed over for promotion with people with far more on their head than in it. Now I don't have to worry about being unfairly treated anymore.

[Boondock]

I agree with a lot of what 35's saying, but personally I would wear a wig before I chose to isolate myself from society because of baldness. A wig is a radical solution but cutting yourself off from the world is going way further along the road of craziness.

Placing your hope in a 'cure' five years from now is, in my view, completely at odds of your claims to be a 'realist'. A realist would accept that while there is a chance of a cure being available in this time period, there are so many variables and uncertainties at play that you can by no means be sure of it. Planning your future on uncertainty is setting up a huge risk if your bet doesn't come good.

I agree that hair loss is a big deal for many people. There are guys who look great with the shave, and more power to them. For the rest of us, it is a big deal.