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  1. #1
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    Default Hair loss is so ****ing stupid.

    How can this happen to people, it is so stupid and unfair. I'm having a bad day and need to get this frustration out because it's killing me. Honestly, this is the stupidest condition I've ever heard of, I don't care how 'benign' it is. [2 Medicine (of a disease) not harmful in effect: in particular, (of a tumor) not malignant.] This is the most harmful social and physiological struggle I have ever faced before. My grandma said the same before dying of cancer, that the worst part of her life was losing her hair and I believe it (regardless of gender in today's society).

    Women hardly care for me at all anymore, and it's so ****ing stupid because I'm fun, an optimist and I go to college and do basically all the things other guys do. Girls aren't superficial? YES they are, way more superficial than any guy I know. If losing your hair happens before you're 20 it's the worst case scenario, because you're never going to feel like you grew up like the rest of your friends because women shunned you during the most important growth phase of your life. I feel like such a joke to women and it's so ****ing stupid. My friends are awesome, but it's so stupid to see even your friends with ZERO personality get girl friends for only having a full head of hair. Just thinking about it pisses me off. For example (just to prove i'm not over reacting), I have a friend that is the same age, looks pretty much average with a full head of hair and who is also a robot (not literally) but he doesn't talk much and when he does it's about hockey or skateboarding (which is cool but not really to women). Yet he always has a girlfriend and I'm stuck being alone and I just want someone to love me. I feel so pressured into getting a transplant and it's so ****ing stupid because I shouldn't have to feel embarrassed in my own skin all the time because women don't care about any part of me unless I have hair. I wear nice clothes and keep everything else neat, but none of it counts unless you have hair.

    I can't imagine having to face the next 5 years like this, all used up before even being used, while watching the women I love fall for a guy with hair, and watch all of my other friends get girls for that same reason. Society is so ****ing retarded, I just can't wait to find someone that actually cares about it and actually loves me for me and not for my hair (or lack thereof) but I know when I do she's probably not going to be even average because of my new look. I'm not ****y, but I used to get so much attention from girls (I'd say I was an 8.5/10) and now I feel like a 6 max. No one wants to feel like there best is a 6 period.

    People definitely treat you older because you look older, and I'm ashamed to say that I hate going out with my mom anymore because people think I'm her husband. What a terrible thing for a 20 year old to have to feel. This is the worst case scenario, never getting a chance to live a normal college life like the rest of my friends. It's so sad to think about all of my ambitions being worth little anymore because of how society has treated me throughout this mess. Propecia and minoxidil are not worth the money, but I'm forced to take it because it's the only thing there is. **** you propecia and minoxdil for emptying my pockets, ****ing up my hormones and my scalp.

    I still love the prospects the world has to offer (regardless of how shitty my situation is now) nature and camping and playing guitar, but have rationalized that I'm never going to live until some girl just "likes me" which is not happening now. And it's 100% because of this stupid horseshoe forming on my scalp where my hair used to be and for no other reason, it's the only thing that has changed in the last couple of years. My attitude might sound brutal reading this but I'm such a good guy, it's ****ing ridiculous and life is incredibly hard and lonely now.

  2. #2
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    Default Have to agree.

    Mate, reading your post has brought back a hell of a lot of memories. I remember how painful it was to find myself slowly transforming into an unattractive guy. As a 25 year old, I lost my girlfriend, in part, because she was 6 years younger than me, and embarrased to have a balding boyfriend.

    As you can imagine, I became quite angry with the world around me that seemed so superficial and pathetic. To see idiot simian friends impressing girls with their rugged rock star hair and their completely absent personalities was almost too much to bear.

    Eventually, I realised that this is how the world is. It is superficial, pathetic and absolutely unfair. I can not change the fact that chicks dig hair. All I could do was make a choice. I could choose to fight to save my hair, or make it a non issue by shaving it off.

    I chose to fight. About one and a half years ago, I started taking propecia. My bald spot has completely disappeared in this time. This is with no hair transplant. I can not overstate how impressive this medication is. Girls are paying me serious attention again, and even my ex has complimented me.

    I note that you think propecia hasn't been doing much for you. Please stay on it, for your sake. Having early hairloss at 20 must suck. But if you stay on propecia until your 30, you will notice that your hair will look much better than other 30 year olds. Because almost everyone else who isn't on propecia will lose hair during this time, and you won't.

    Something else. Women in general are attracted to confidence and power. They don't carer quite as much about how you look as you might imagine, particularly as you get older. I'm 29 now, and I find it way easier to impress girls within 4 years of my age than I did when I was 22, even though I had a full head of hair with a perfect hairline back then.

    So basically, even if everything ****s up for you, and propecia doesn't work, and you have to shave your head...YOU WONT BE LONELY. Because girls will still be attracted to your confidence and power as you age.

  3. #3
    Senior Member KeepTheHair's Avatar
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    Default

    I can totally relate. It has been devastating to me as well.


    If I knew it would be this terrible I would have definitely tried to do something earlier. But I didn't know....I didn't know...


    Besides... What were the odds of losing a lot of hair so early? 16-20 I lost a lot of my frontal hair! Girls give me a lot less looks now. It is very noticeable.

    I am 2 months into my regimen. It is definitely working. There is no way I am going to recover a lot at the front though. But it is not shedding as much anymore at all. It has gotten a little thicker overall I would say and I might get some more thickness. But my hair looks like total CRAP compared to my friends. Total SHIT.

    I think if I give my regimen and finasteride a full year and grow out my hair I can look decent though, that is my only hope right now.

    Probably 4-6 months from now my hair will look as good as I can get it. I just hope the anagen phase is long enough to make decent frontal coverage etc.


    Dammit I used to look so much better with hair than other people this is such a disaster.

  4. #4
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    you need to calm down...yes hairloss sucks but to me it seems u get your validation from whether or not a girl thinks you are attractive. yes some girls care about hairloss, but in all honesty most don't that much. three of my best girl friends are all dating balding guys and they are all smoking hot. what river says is especially true, as u get older girls will care less and less about it than when they are younger. you have to understand that 80% of all guys will experience hairloss in their lives. most girls dont exactly age great either and i think u are overestimating how much girls care about looks. im not going to sit here and lie to you and say they don't, but its not number one on their list and im not just saying that to make you feel better. you most likely arent getting woman because hair loss has ruined your confidence and girls can sense that a mile away. regardless, stop putting so much stock into what they think of you and start trying to build yourself back up to a person they can like. ive been losing my hair since i was 19. im almost 26 now a nw2.5-3. i had hairloss back in college and i still did VERY well with girls. They just didnt seem to care all that much in my case b/c i carried myself with a lot of confidence.

    get on proscar and rogaine (those have worked for me) and start researching ht's if this is bothering u so much. look at thickening shampoos and concealers as well. swearing and saying this and that is stupid and wont solve a thing. i feel your frustration but there are options to treat this today.

  5. #5
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    Dude I know where your coming from. I'm 19 and on propecia and it sucks. I was feeling the same way about going places with my mom too. Not that people that I was her husband, but just that It seemed weird for someone who looks so old to go out with there mom. Girls stop checking me out, etc. shit sucks.

    But then I think about my if girlfriend. She's atleast a 10 if not a 11, 12 or 13. She's hot, great body, athletic and slim looking and pretty as hell. Me and her are both completely open about my hairloss and no matter what I say she says she couldn't care less about how I look. Its the only thing that makes me feel better about it anymore.

  6. #6
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    Default

    smileyface19, it breaks my heart to read your post- especially since you're generally one of the more optimistic posters! Everyone has bad days and I certainly don't blame you for venting- I just hope you get to feeling better about things asap.

    Although I can never completely understand, I meet men every day dealing with hair loss and see first-hand how much they struggle. From my perspective, it's often the best-looking men who take it the hardest (and they're often the ones that make the major decision to opt for hair restoration surgery) because they are used to the privileges of being attractive and really feel like they are mourning a phase of their life as they lose their hair.

    I think the other guys on this thread have posted some great advice. You sound like a great guy- I think things really will improve as you get a bit older. In the meantime, try to stay optimistic. keep busy and find confidence in yourself in other ways.

  7. #7
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    hey man im 19 and im losing hair too. id say im moving near(if not already) a norwood 3 (frontal). Im kinda in the same boat as you, idk what to do. im on the 2 FDA approved drugs and they seem to be slowing it down, but im still receding. I have a part time job, and am taking summer classes just to keep myself occupied. When its payday it makes me feel a bit happier but its only very temporary.

    the least i think that we can do is to do well in college. i feel like since im so young ive been robbed of my chance to find "her", and i look forward to the future for a cure or better treatments ( which im sure will be out in our lifetime ).

    another idea ive had is to just shave it all off, or shave it to a 1. that way i have no hair that i can care about and will focus on more important things in life. if you wanna talk just IM me on AIM. my sn is the same

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by imxtoeknee View Post
    hey man im 19 and im losing hair too. id say im moving near(if not already) a norwood 3 (frontal). Im kinda in the same boat as you, idk what to do. im on the 2 FDA approved drugs and they seem to be slowing it down, but im still receding. I have a part time job, and am taking summer classes just to keep myself occupied. When its payday it makes me feel a bit happier but its only very temporary.

    the least i think that we can do is to do well in college. i feel like since im so young ive been robbed of my chance to find "her", and i look forward to the future for a cure or better treatments ( which im sure will be out in our lifetime ).

    another idea ive had is to just shave it all off, or shave it to a 1. that way i have no hair that i can care about and will focus on more important things in life. if you wanna talk just IM me on AIM. my sn is the same
    Hey man im so sorry to hear you started losing your hair at such a young age. I started losing my to at a your age too and im almost 26 and close to a nw3. anyway you are doing the right thing getting on propecia and rogaine. Since you are to young for a ht you might want to consider a frontal piece from someplace like toplace.com. It might make you happier in the short term and they are completely undetectable...just talk to spencer if you need help.

    As for girls, I know how you feel, and honestly there will be a few girls who are a bit shallow but take solace in the fact that a)most girls arent like that and b)you dont want to to those types anyway. I suggest reading neil strauss' book the game. The guy is 5'5' 135 lbs and bald and reels in girls left and right. It might help you.

    Anyways hang in there man, be confident in who you are as a person and realize that there IS life after hair loss and that if you choose to battle it, there are things you can do beat it per se. good luck mate.

  9. #9
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    Smileyface19, with all respect, from your post it seems you lost self-confidence. That may not be the case, but it seems like it.

    I like you, started to lose my hair in my 20's. But I didn't have a problem getting girlfriends. Yes, girls can be superficial, but so can men. Similarly to what a previous poster mentioned, what really matters is self-confidence, a commanding presence, and a positive outlook.

    Women read body language much better than men, and will notice if you show weakness.

  10. #10
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    Thanks for the posts. You are right about losing a bit of my self confidence but I have to be honest, I was having a terrible week and this girl I'm in love with was leaving for the summer and I was just down. I agree that men and women can be superficial, I just was in the mood to fret about things.

    St3v thanks dude for not being rude and I totally agree that I need a self confidence boost, but I'm a pretty optimistic guy, regardless of my situation and the girl I love now knows it because I told her. She's the most important aspect of my life right now and I find that this self confidence issue arrived at a terrible time in my life when I needed the confidence the most.

    Hair loss is still ****ing stupid, but I think I can bear through it as long as this girl stays with me.

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