The struggles of a balding longhair and the double-standards between men and women

[McCloud90]

It cuts both ways. I'm a 54 year old woman who started losing my hair in my mid 40s. I feel forced to wear a wig. I wish women had the same freedom men have to be bald. That being said, I wouldn't want my man to wear a wig just like I bet you wouldn't want your woman not to wear a wig if she was losing her hair. But, I don't think you should be left out of having some alternative. I've been thinking about an idea that I'd try if it was an option. You, being a young guy would probably be able to pull it off and maybe start a new trend.
You know how people get piercing just about any where? Well, why not get piercings through your scalp? Strategically placed and with some sort of attachment mechanism, you could add hair. Not in a way like you were trying to hide your baldness, but in an ode to hair. It could be bold and make a statement. Like a man bun or a mohawk. I would find that sexy and you could probably make it so that it didn't come of when your girl wanted to pull it.

I would argue that women are also free to be openly bald, men are only 'free' to do it in the sense that people expect it, it still results in most people finding us unattractive or mocking us unless we have a complimentary facial structure and personality, although I do acknowledge that bald women are more likley to be noticed and probably have less options to compensate (outside of hiding it).

'Manly' men who are good at being a leader/practical things that women find attractive get away with balding/not caring about their appearance because they hold obvious value that is unattached to aesthetics, those of us with a more reserved personality and traditionally feminine skills have to worry more about our looks if we want to be successful. People assume a great deal of competence and hidden talent when you're good looking, and men treat you with respect when they notice that women want you, even if you can't talk use tools or lead people. Losing this veneer leaves me with nothing that's relevant in the 10 or so seconds it takes a woman to decide whether she find you sexy, and also harms the perception that other men have of me.

This is all fine if I'm ready to settle down because I have other value like finely honed cooking/cleaning skills and a good job, but I'm not ready for that for a while yet, at least 5-10 years based on how I feel.

Incidentally, as much as your idea re the piercings is interesting, I barely get away with long hair tied up at work, no chance would they tolerate that!

[McCloud90]

I have exactly the same sttrugles as you, mate. I don't have long hair, but medium in this case. Oh, and also... I'm 22 years old, also a diffuse thinner with probably worst density than yours. I made a Thread on the "Coping Hairloss in Everyday Life" and "Non Surgical Hair Replacement" sections that I think you should really take a look at. People like @BaldBearded gave me some pretty good tips.

I live in portugal and as a young male, young women are really REALLY concerned about your hair quality. To the point where even if you have a pretty good face, good eyes and strong lips. Being bald (or thinning) will be a huuuuge turn off in most cases.

Between this month and April I'll be going all-in on a good quality hair system. My dad doesn't approve this so I'll have to do it on my own. I no longer recognise myself with this shitty quality hair. I wanna be that happy boy I once was 7 years back.

I know this is a huge deal but since the current treaments are completly worthless we really gotta give it a try, mate.

Best of luck, stay strong buddy...

I feel for you man, it sucks when it happens so young. I really hope the hair system works out for you, it may not be a perfect solution, but I'm certain its much better than balding before 40 if you get a decent one. There's only one way to find out, and it beats endless looking in the mirror/ at hairloss forums.

Good luck to you too fella.

[McCloud90]

I think it's OK for a middle aged man to show some hairloss. But for a fellow who wants to date women younger than, say, 25, lack of hair would limit his options; I am certain his life would be better with hair. Whether a hairpiece or wig would improve his life more than it would hurt his life, depends on what kind of life he aspires to lead. If he plans to be a couch potato, always indoors, in climate-controlled environments out of the rain, snow, dust, wind, tobacco smoke, etc., a wig might be practical.

To be fair I'm not that interested in dating women under 25, but I think even the more desirable girls in late-20's/early 30's prefer men with hair, but it's as you said in an earlier post, it's for me more than for any particular girl. I doubt any method of wearing hair is practical for anyone, but then again neither is a persistent feeling of anxiety and hopelessness over your appearance, it's just a case of deciding which burden you prefer to bear.

In an ideal world we would all just be totally cool with balding as that's the only way to be free from it entirely, but I guess some of us just aren't wired that way.

[clee984]

There actually is a woman I've seen a few times in my town who is bald - she's only young, she must be 20-something. I don't know why she has no hair, whether she has alopecia, or chemo, or what, but I have to say, she's pretty sexy - which perhaps confirms what you guys have been saying about dudes, that some people can pull it off if they have other attributes.

The fact is that baldness needs a cure, for everyone who suffers from it. No ifs, buts, or maybes.