I don't know what to do

[SebasEck]

Hello everyone,

I am a 24 year old student living in Amsterdam.

Writing this with tears rolling down my cheeks because I can't accept my hair losing head which has been going on for the past years. I'm turning 25 in April and it has a lot of effect on my mental stability.

With having my first girlfriend for 3 months now I'm afraid this will lead to a breakup since she is 22 and well who wants to show off a balding boyfriend to her friends. At the moment I can cover my big bald spot around my crown after using my, still a bit thick, red hair and a hairdryer and hair products. I can't do this for much longer though.

For the past years I have been afraid of the rain because it would have shown my baldness that I was hiding for everyone. Going away with friends or showering somewhere else then at home, I always took a hairdryer with me or a cap so no one could see what was going on. I took the teasing with my hairdryer for granted as long as long as people weren't teasing me about my baldness.

I never cry but the last 2 months whenever I'm alone I feel like I want to. This is the second time that it really hits me and reading online about the side effects of pills doesn't make me feel better and the crying starts. Because I think of it as such a deal breaker for my girlfriend, especially because she loves my red hair, I'm to afraid to talk with her about it.

When I was at the doctor for something else a few weeks ago a brought it up but she quickly responded with that it sucked for me and that some guys just shave it off when it happens and there is unfortunately nothing I can do about it. I feel like I don't have the head to be bald, I don't want to shave it all off.

In the end I have to deal with this myself but I just felt like I wanted to get this off my chest and write to all of you in this forum because who knows if someone can help me or give me some kind of advice.

Thanks for taking the time to read this,

SebasEck