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Originally Posted by tjazz
good points. I agree - there's more to it than hair or no hair. The question is whether one can feel confident in spite of everything. For my part- I will likely never be totally confident with it- so i focus on other aspects if life to make up for it- my career, my passions, my interests. Coping with hairloss at such a youg age (started in late teens) crushed my confidence and took me out of the dating/romance game for most of my 20's. I,m now in my late 30s and it matters less and less as i get older. I spent those years developing my talents and skills- while friends of mine dealt with all the drama that comes with dating in those years. I feel like it has been a blessing in disguise.
I'm almost twice your age, and I'm proud to say I hate it almost as much as I did when I was in my 20's. What's really infernal about it, is no sooner do I start to make peace with the hair I have left, then I lose even more hair and look even worse!
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Whatever you imagined the "dating - romance game" to be, it was likely something else. "To see ourselves as others see us" was never meant to be possible because it would likely blow our minds. Not saying that early hair loss didn't affect your confidence, and in turn your willingness to risk dating. But when you say you'll "never be totally confident with it" you can drop the "it" and get an almost universal truth. None of us is ever totally confident. By defining your "it" as baldness it fosters obsession .. and obsession was always the killer over shrinking follicles. Letting go seems key .. life wasn't meant to be preserved; it was meant to be lived. Whatever it is we're clinging to so desperately -- confidence, hair, youth, money, control -- it's almost always because of the illusion that it will make us more whole, more capable, more alive. I realize this sounds like so much BS, but I believe it. Yeah, losing your hair young is a shock to the system, but to quote Clint Eastwood "we all have it comin'" .. even if we die with more hair on our head than Zac Efron on a minoxidil bender. You may be able to get your hair back ultimately, but the years are a different matter.
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I live in Israel, balding among men (and even some women) not uncommon, especially at a young age. I date men, so I can't talk about personal experiences with women.
I do see many Israeli female celebrities and models, married to bald men. And... out on the street... you see beautiful women (Tel Aviv indeed has it's fair share) with bald, balding or shaved headed guys.
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