Where on your scalp did you start noticing baldness?

Collapse
X
 
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
  • KeepTheHair
    Senior Member
    • Mar 2010
    • 1215

    #16
    I agree with mcr.


    It is a fact that less hair makes you less attractive. And people who are less attractive ARE DEFINITELY discriminated against.


    Sure it is not the end of the world. But to us sometimes it does feel that way. And this forum is our outlet.

    I myself have posted some pathetic stuff on here. Stuff I am not proud of. But this is my place to vent...for those days I just get extremely frustrated. Of course we do not always feel this way... but on these forums. Thats how we role lol

    It is not impossible to be successful without hair. But it is a known fact that it is HARDER. Generalizing with one or 2 examples is not indicative of reality.

    When I was in primary school and highschool... I remember very well how people with bad looks wear seen as. The discrimination is unbelievable. People with inferior looks are for the most part seen as, inferor. Thats just life.

    Thats how everyone sees it... at least 99% of people. Even us. If a very large unattractive girl had the same personality as a girl with good looks... don't even tell me you would have a tough choice as to who to talk to.

    A complete idiot nobody loser could get a hot girl if he has good looks. It is much tougher for the other guy. Sure the money helps. But you know what I am really talking about.

    The ugly guy won't find someone who "loves" him as easily. It's just fact.


    Anyway...yes it's not the end of the world. But on this forums it is. Because these forums are where we go on the days the world is crumbling down on us.

    Comment

    • hindsight2020
      Member
      • May 2010
      • 52

      #17
      I'm going to reply to both the previous posters (mcr & Keepthehair).

      You may be right, and I may have not chosen my words correctly. I don't mean to come down on him for his anger. Thats not my point at all. But not all people come to this forum to vent, some come for support. And when I read through every post from the recent months and it has some 'bald people are ugly statement' in it, it pisses me off.

      Both of you just said it again in your replies. Who are you to say ANYONE is ugly?

      mcr - You talk about how bladness makes you look older and less attractive. Not true. Yes at a very young age like a lot of us start balding its uncomfortable and sometimes socially unacceptable... this quickly goes away (quickly in relative terms to the rest of your life). You talk about pop-culture and male models in GQ magazine. Not to be rude, but I am willing to bet WITH HAIR none of us looked like the models in GQ magazine to begin with. And if your going to compare yourself to male models in GQ magazine, or to some popular teenish icon like Justin Beiber your seeing on MTV, then you have a lot of growing up to do. If your over 25, your not in that age group anymore. Stop trying to compare yourself with people in the media, look at who you work with, who you interact with on a daily basis, who the important people are in your life... now count how many of them are models. Did you even get to 1? Take a look at people like John Travolta, who covered up his baldness for a majority of his life. Read comments on how beautiful people think he is now that he shaved it clean and stopped trying to cover it up. Look at Bruce Willis, again, balding all his life, and has always accepted it, has ALWAYS been a very attractive man to many many women. Many professional athletes; black, white, hispanic... shave thier heads and people LOVE them. Your NEVER going to be attractive to everyone, that is a FACT. You need to stop comparing yourself to someone you can't compete with. I can't dunk a basketball like Michael Jordan, I can't hit a baseball like Albert Pujols, I can't throw a football like Matt Hasslebeck. So if your ugly 'cause you don't look like a male model from GQ, then I suck cause I can't do those things too... and those people are bald... How can they do that WITHOUT hair?!? If you were a model in ANY magazine, and have lost your job since going bald, I appologize and am wrong... but I am willing to bet that wasn't the case.

      You mention peoples insired sympathy for people with conditions like those I mentioned. I am sure people do have sympathy for those who are bald. But not jsut because they are bald, because they are bald and they let it ruin thier lives. They don't get it and aren't as sympathetic because they don't see what the big deal is. I get it, I've been there. Looking back at how I used to think and act... it makes NO SENSE.

      KeepTheHair - again with the speaking so 'matter of fact' with the bald people are ugly and discriminated against.' - Says who? Find me one court case that was won over balding discrimination. Other forms of discrimination, forms that are REAL, have documented discrimination and aren't just opinions, find some for yourself. I know your young and its awkward. I get that. But just because your bald doesnt mean your ugly. Chances are, wether you want to admit it or not, if your ugly because your bald.. you were not THAT attractive WITH hair.

      One thing I did like that you posted KeepTheHair, is that you admitted to posting some pretty pathetic-sounding stuff here, I get that, I get the anger. But you then turn aorund and say its not the end of the world, and you use the forums as a way to vent. Venting is good for you, but the thing is, you have to understand that when you say things like 'bald people are ugly, its a fact and read this article' - that brings people who come here for support down. It affects everyone - balding people, people wtih HT's, people who shave as a result. They know thier situation isn't ideal, but when they come to these forums for support and read stuff like 'you have no chance in life because you will be discriminated against and your ugly' - its a real bummer and isn't even remotely true and thier is nothing to support or back up those statements but with peoples opinions. I feel like when people say that kind of stuff that NO ONE can back up with facts, because its the way you feel and just your opinion (probabaly because your angry), they are just taking the easy way out blaming other people for the way they feel, when other people don't give a sh*t about thier hairloss.

      I am not even going to comment on 'the ugly guy wont find someone who loves him. It's just a fact' statement. I mean, come on really? Where is that fact posted in a reputable journal? How many independant studies went into discovering that fact? Where those studies proven to be non-bias? You just sound ridiculous.

      Comment

      • level
        Member
        • Apr 2010
        • 98

        #18
        He guys, I'm trying to make a post but when I click submit, it says I have too many characters. Is that the norm, or is there a way to create a longer post?

        Comment

        • KeepTheHair
          Senior Member
          • Mar 2010
          • 1215

          #19
          I have not experienced that yet. You could always try to post your message in 2 or more separate posts.

          Comment

          • level
            Member
            • Apr 2010
            • 98

            #20
            Originally posted by KeepTheHair
            I have not experienced that yet. You could always try to post your message in 2 or more separate posts.
            Thanks for the info. I'll give it another shot.

            Comment

            • level
              Member
              • Apr 2010
              • 98

              #21
              I figured it out. Thanks again!

              Comment

              • [mcr]
                Member
                • Dec 2009
                • 99

                #22
                hindsight2020, know that I understand what you're saying and it makes complete sense. However, what you're saying is very rational and we live in an irrational world. Just because we want hair loss not to matter doesn't make it so.

                When a good-looking model loses hair, he goes from very attractive to average, meaning his looks won't help him, but won't work against him either. When an average person loses hair, their looks start working against them, and they feel it much more.

                Some of us, like me, choose to socialize in bars and clubs, where girls make split-second decisions about whether you are 'a good fit' or not. In those kind of environments, you need every bit of help you can get in the area of looks, height, money, coolness, whatever.

                You can say that bars and clubs are a bad example, and that I shouldn't be socializing there anyway because those people are shallow, but hey it's my choice. I want to go to those places. I want them to be an option for me if I so choose.

                Case in point: This is one of the most amazing transformations I have seen.


                I can tell you for a fact that this guy is gonna have a much easier time socializing, making friends, meeting girls, than this guy will.

                Just because you and I won't judge him for his hair loss, doesn't mean the rest of the world will give him a free pass.

                In a perfect world, both guys will be given a chance for the light of their heart to shine. But the reality is that in this day and age, they will not be treated the same. There is no point is denying that.

                Which brings me to my next point: This is a form of discrimination that is invisible, that you cannot defend yourself against. Someone can sue an employer if they are denied a job because of their race/religion/whatever, and they will win. However, a bald man cannot go to court and say "hey, I want to sue these women because they rejected me because I am not good-looking enough, or because I am bald, etc."

                It's an acceptable form of discrimination. We discriminate every day of our lives. When I see an unattractive girl, I decide not to talk to her. I discriminate against her. It's not her fault, but it's not my problem.

                Such is life, or like they say in French, "c'est la vie."

                It's not the end of the world, but we must be level-headed in our judgement and recognize the issue for what it is. Yes, it's an issue, there is discrimination, but it's fairly minor most of the time, and it can be easily overcome.

                That sums up my stance on the subject.

                Comment

                • KeepTheHair
                  Senior Member
                  • Mar 2010
                  • 1215

                  #23
                  I totally agree with that and that has been the point I was trying to make.


                  No matter how attractive you are. Losing hair will have a huge impact on your looks and daily life.


                  Balding sucks! That picture you posted...yeah amazing transformation. The guy looks like he is healthier, younger...even looks like he lost weight and as if he was fat in the balding picture. Definitely a good transformation.

                  Comment

                  • hindsight2020
                    Member
                    • May 2010
                    • 52

                    #24
                    Both of your last two statements made much more sense to me.

                    When you say what YOU think, or what YOU want, or how YOU feel... is much different than saying 'Bald people are ugly, its a fact'. I appreciate both your opinions, and your both very entitled to them. No one comes to this forum to feel worse about themselves and at the same time no one comes to this forum because they have to much hair.

                    Just because you feel one way (including me) doesn't mean everyone else feels that way. just because you feel bald people in general are ugly, doesn't mean someone else who is coming here for support feels the same. 'Bald people are ugly' is NOT a fact, no matter who you are. To some it may be LESS attractive, and as you'll find to some it will be MORE attractive.

                    Yes losing your hair will impact how you look, just like growing it impacts how you look. Its a change and a lot of people aren't comfortable with change. But it doesn;t ALWAYS have to be a change for the worse. I honestly think (and I am not one of them) some people look better bald.

                    Comment

                    • Fixed by 35
                      Senior Member
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 618

                      #25
                      Sorry, Hindsight2020, but it seems you post the same gibberish as a lot of other men who have surrendered the fight against hair loss. Like them, the only remaining source of hope is for your baldness to become socially acceptable and therefore you preach the virtues of hairlessness and remind us that worse things can happen. You go from fighter to quitter to desperate loser, spending every day trying to convince people (yourself included, no doubt) that your baldness is okay.

                      Well, sorry, but I don't want to join that club. When a cure finally comes out, I want to be the first to know about it, and nothing will change that. I've never even met you and I already know you're ugly, because you shave your head. No doubt, like every other man forced to do the same, the office lights shine off your forehead and your ears stick out. You're only 30 but you probably look about 40 as well.

                      I'm ugly too, because I'm balding. I'm man enough to say that, because I'm still in this fight. I still have some ray of hope, however slight, that things will change for the better. I haven't surrendered for a second rate life in the way you so clearly have.

                      A lot of people on this site will love your pop psychology. Great. But I've heard it all before, and I know it's all bollocks. A little bit of observation would go a long way. Then maybe you'll realise just how prejudiced people are and start to realise that because you lost your hair, your f*cked.

                      Just like the rest of us.

                      Comment

                      • hindsight2020
                        Member
                        • May 2010
                        • 52

                        #26
                        Originally posted by Fixed by 35
                        Sorry, Hindsight2020, but it seems you post the same gibberish as a lot of other men who have surrendered the fight against hair loss. Like them, the only remaining source of hope is for your baldness to become socially acceptable and therefore you preach the virtues of hairlessness and remind us that worse things can happen. You go from fighter to quitter to desperate loser, spending every day trying to convince people (yourself included, no doubt) that your baldness is okay.

                        Well, sorry, but I don't want to join that club. When a cure finally comes out, I want to be the first to know about it, and nothing will change that. I've never even met you and I already know you're ugly, because you shave your head. No doubt, like every other man forced to do the same, the office lights shine off your forehead and your ears stick out. You're only 30 but you probably look about 40 as well.

                        I'm ugly too, because I'm balding. I'm man enough to say that, because I'm still in this fight. I still have some ray of hope, however slight, that things will change for the better. I haven't surrendered for a second rate life in the way you so clearly have.

                        A lot of people on this site will love your pop psychology. Great. But I've heard it all before, and I know it's all bollocks. A little bit of observation would go a long way. Then maybe you'll realise just how prejudiced people are and start to realise that because you lost your hair, your f*cked.

                        Just like the rest of us.
                        You are a sad, pathetic being. Regardless of what I look like, I carry myself with confidence. I might not have hair but I have a lot of other things going on for me. Its apparent you can't say the same.

                        I have a beautiful wife, make 6 figures, and love who I am. I would pity you, but you pity yourself enough already. Misery loves company... and thats all your here for, to being others down with you... hope they see it to.

                        Comment

                        • hindsight2020
                          Member
                          • May 2010
                          • 52

                          #27
                          Originally posted by [mcr]
                          Case in point: This is one of the most amazing transformations I have seen.


                          I can tell you for a fact that this guy is gonna have a much easier time socializing, making friends, meeting girls, than this guy will.
                          I'm really glad you posted this.

                          Take a look at those pictures. Look at the one with his hair down post HT. See the difference of texture in his HT hair from his real hair? You don't think people will do a double take to the doll hair look? You don't see it as much in the one with the comb because the comb is pinning it back.

                          Also... they clearly shaved off the hiar that was already in the transplanted area. Look at the pictrue of when his head was tilted down pre transplant. There are hairs there, lots of little red hairs that were shaved down to not only do the transplant, but to make the picture look more dramatic. What happens when that hair falls out and the transplant hairs remain... now he has nothing but doll like hair on the front of his head.

                          Being bald is a lot more easier than covering it up. But thats just my pop psycology opinion.

                          Comment

                          • KeepTheHair
                            Senior Member
                            • Mar 2010
                            • 1215

                            #28
                            Originally posted by hindsight2020
                            I'm really glad you posted this.

                            Take a look at those pictures. Look at the one with his hair down post HT. See the difference of texture in his HT hair from his real hair? You don't think people will do a double take to the doll hair look? You don't see it as much in the one with the comb because the comb is pinning it back.

                            Also... they clearly shaved off the hiar that was already in the transplanted area. Look at the pictrue of when his head was tilted down pre transplant. There are hairs there, lots of little red hairs that were shaved down to not only do the transplant, but to make the picture look more dramatic. What happens when that hair falls out and the transplant hairs remain... now he has nothing but doll like hair on the front of his head.

                            Being bald is a lot more easier than covering it up. But thats just my pop psycology opinion.
                            I 100% disagree.

                            That transplant looks 100% natural. Your mind is playing tricks on you.

                            Comment

                            • hindsight2020
                              Member
                              • May 2010
                              • 52

                              #29
                              Originally posted by KeepTheHair
                              I 100% disagree.

                              That transplant looks 100% natural. Your mind is playing tricks on you.
                              I have a HT, I know what to look for and what the tricks are to taking these pictures. This guy is going to have to get many more HT's in his future to keep it looking even semi natural, depending on the extent of his continued balding.

                              When you look at a HT everyday in the mirrior, you know what one looks like. While I still have plenty of hair on top of my head... I know one day its going to look ridiculous if I dont keep pumping money into it. Its not worth it. The shaved head look really grew on me.

                              Comment

                              • Fixed by 35
                                Senior Member
                                • Mar 2010
                                • 618

                                #30
                                You are a sad, pathetic being. Regardless of what I look like, I carry myself with confidence. I might not have hair but I have a lot of other things going on for me. Its apparent you can't say the same.

                                I have a beautiful wife, make 6 figures, and love who I am. I would pity you, but you pity yourself enough already. Misery loves company... and thats all your here for, to being others down with you... hope they see it to.
                                Fiancee, check. High salary, check. Confidence in my abilities, check. I've got all of that, but I'm also smart enough to know society will judge me on my hair before any of that, because society is stupid, it is superficial and it cannot be beaten.

                                I'm only 27 and because I started balding seven years ago, I've hit the frontier of my potential already. I have everything else in order, and it is holding me back.

                                Perhaps what you don't realise, because you had a HT in a crucial stage of your career, is how much it helped you get on. Before the HT, you were the loser who lost his hair and looked like he was 40 when he was only 18. You looked like you'd had your chance at a career already by those who didn't know you and you were overlooked. You made a smart move and probably got out of the positions, lower end middle management, where image counted before the HT went downhill.

                                At 30, I'd hazard a guess that you'll hit your brick wall sooner rather than later.

                                By the way, it's good you're earning six figures, although if that's in dollars then that's really nothing special.

                                Comment

                                Working...