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  1. #1
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    Default Perspective from a forty something on hair loss.

    Just wanted to offer my real world experience.

    Suffer from mpb. Started thinning when I was 19/20. By 21 there was no hiding it. I met a beautiful lady that year. We fell in love, got married five years later and have been together since. Had I not met her, I'm positive I would have had a great dating/sex life in my 20's and 30's. There were numbers of times in my 20's and 30's that women would come up to me in bars and offer to by me drinks. I even had an offer once from two women (talk about an ego boost!) Of course I never took any of them up on it because I was in a monogamous relationship. I am not "hot" in the traditional sense. I'm 5'10, on the thinner side but with a slim muscular build. I am fun and outgoing regardless of hair loss. In fact, I never got too depressed over it. It sucked, yeah, but it didn't stop my life. I still get insecure sometimes. I think that has more to do with the inevitable fact that I'm not "young" anymore, which is something all men face. Would I look better with hair? No doubt about it. Would I have attracted more women in my youth with hair? No doubt whatsoever. Do I attract women in their twenties now? Honestly, I don't think so. But none of that matters. The woman I've been with for 23 years has always accepted me for me, the man she fell in love with. We have been 100% faithful to each other all these years, have a family, and the passion we have for each other grows more each day. Our sex is incredible - and that's important for sure, but more importantly she loves me unconditionally, regardless of the amount of hair on my head.

    Believe me guys, when I say I know all about the insecurities of being bald. My best advice, eat right, take care of yourself, exercise, keep a close haircut, and most importantly, try and build some self confidence. Try hair restoration if you want. I just never wanted to put that much time and energy into something that would prolong the inevitable. Let's face it, being bald, you may not be able to turn heads right away anymore, or maybe you do, but I've found once women get to know you, through interactions at work or social groups, etc. they start looking past physical traits and accept you for who you are. I'm bald, but I have real conversations with people, I can make women laugh, they compliment me on occasion, and we can have fun. That makes me feel good about myself. Stay strong in the struggle and good luck.

  2. #2
    Senior Member k9gatton's Avatar
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    That's good that you're married/with someone and have a great sex life.

    My head is very strange shaped. Short hair makes it much worse. Are you in your forties?

    That's where I am. It sucks it being old. And my partner isn't sexually attracted to me when
    I have short hair. No question about that.

    If my women left me, I would go to the gym. But I would definitely get a transplant, and stay
    on hair medication, because of bumps that show on my head.

    Had buzz cuts before. But it looks strange with anything shorter than an inch/2.5 centimeters.

  3. #3
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    Yep. In my forties. I don't think it sucks being older. I have a pretty good life because of my experiences. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I will say, I'm motivated to stay in shape, partly to help me feel better about myself. I can't control my baldness, but there are other things I can control, and that keeps me motivated. Taking care of your teeth, staying clean from drugs and alcohol, taking care of your body and mind. All that helps believes it or not. also, my head is not bad. No bumps or moles/birthmarks. No scars either. Actually looking forward to greying. Hoping it makes me look more distinguished.

  4. #4
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    Also, meditation, sun gazing, no fap. Believe that.

  5. #5
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    Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.

    Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility.

    __________________
    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkipling View Post
    Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.

    Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility.

    __________________
    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.
    So sick of hearing that kind of filth from someone with a hair transplant.

  7. #7
    Senior Member k9gatton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by spitfire View Post
    Yep. In my forties. I don't think it sucks being older. I have a pretty good life because of my experiences. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I will say, I'm motivated to stay in shape, partly to help me feel better about myself. I can't control my baldness, but there are other things I can control, and that keeps me motivated. Taking care of your teeth, staying clean from drugs and alcohol, taking care of your body and mind. All that helps believes it or not. also, my head is not bad. No bumps or moles/birthmarks. No scars either. Actually looking forward to greying. Hoping it makes me look more distinguished.
    You're in your forties and your hair isn't gray?

    That is interesting. Either you have a stress free life, or good genes. My hair started turning
    gray in my thirties.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by spitfire View Post
    Just wanted to offer my real world experience.

    Suffer from mpb. Started thinning when I was 19/20. By 21 there was no hiding it. I met a beautiful lady that year. We fell in love, got married five years later and have been together since. Had I not met her, I'm positive I would have had a great dating/sex life in my 20's and 30's. There were numbers of times in my 20's and 30's that women would come up to me in bars and offer to by me drinks. I even had an offer once from two women (talk about an ego boost!) Of course I never took any of them up on it because I was in a monogamous relationship. I am not "hot" in the traditional sense. I'm 5'10, on the thinner side but with a slim muscular build. I am fun and outgoing regardless of hair loss. In fact, I never got too depressed over it. It sucked, yeah, but it didn't stop my life. I still get insecure sometimes. I think that has more to do with the inevitable fact that I'm not "young" anymore, which is something all men face. Would I look better with hair? No doubt about it. Would I have attracted more women in my youth with hair? No doubt whatsoever. Do I attract women in their twenties now? Honestly, I don't think so. But none of that matters. The woman I've been with for 23 years has always accepted me for me, the man she fell in love with. We have been 100% faithful to each other all these years, have a family, and the passion we have for each other grows more each day. Our sex is incredible - and that's important for sure, but more importantly she loves me unconditionally, regardless of the amount of hair on my head.

    Believe me guys, when I say I know all about the insecurities of being bald. My best advice, eat right, take care of yourself, exercise, keep a close haircut, and most importantly, try and build some self confidence. Try hair restoration if you want. I just never wanted to put that much time and energy into something that would prolong the inevitable. Let's face it, being bald, you may not be able to turn heads right away anymore, or maybe you do, but I've found once women get to know you, through interactions at work or social groups, etc. they start looking past physical traits and accept you for who you are. I'm bald, but I have real conversations with people, I can make women laugh, they compliment me on occasion, and we can have fun. That makes me feel good about myself. Stay strong in the struggle and good luck.
    Such a disgusting post. Do you have pictures, or are you just another liar wanting more people to stay bald? The women interested in bald guys are ugly, have bad jobs or are just plain stupid. You've accepted mediocrity, that is all your post is about. You probably think Harry Potter is the pinnacle of western culture, I doubt for one second you'd have a decent job or the ability to have a legitimately intellectual conversation.

    Your "fun" with 3/10s is mediocrity. What you did was settle for second best. There's nothing inspiring about what you said, you've just accepted a shitty life.

  9. #9
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    Lol looks like bald got the best of ya

  10. #10
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    I'm 41 and started losing hair at 20 (mostly temple recession). At the time, I was worried I'd be bald by 25 and a laughing stock among my peers. None of that happened. The loss progressed much slower than I had anticipated -- I'm a Norwood 2-2.5 with diffuse thinning that is visible under strong overhead light and on bad hair days. Otherwise, there are days my hair looks relatively full.

    I have friends and acquaintances my age who are at various stages of loss who have no problem hooking up with women their age or years younger. It's all about confidence and realizing that most women (even most young women) don't care about a man's hair loss so much as his lack of self-esteem and if he has a bad hairstyle for the shape of his head and the extent of hair loss.

    For me, hair loss has become less anxiety-provoking as I've gotten older. And, even though the diffuse loss is more visible than it was even just five years ago, I still get plenty of women (older, my age and much younger) looking my way. IMO a combination of maintaining a healthy body weight and having good hygiene go a long way in feeling confident (and, consequently, attracting women).

    No matter your Norwood level, the best things you can do for yourself are:
    1.) Don't gain too much weight as you age, or get down to a healthy body-fate percentage and waist size if you're overweight (women find men in the 12-15% range most attractive, and your waist should be no more than half your height, for health reasons);
    2.) Practice good personal hygiene, as women often complain of men who have bad body odor, don't floss or brush their teeth, don't trim or clean their nails, and don't trim their hair and beard often enough;
    3.) Practice some form of stress relief, be it meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, rhythmic movement, visualization, yoga or tai chi. In addition to reducing stress, relaxation techniques can make you less emotionally reactive.

    TBH just being in shape and maintaining a health body-fat percentage will give you a huge leg up on most men as you move into your 30s and 40s (71 percent of men over 20 are either overweight or obese). An out-of-shape guy with a full head of hair and high body-fat percentage is much worse off than a balding guy who's in shape.

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