Perspective from a forty something on hair loss.

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  • blahblah
    Member
    • Jan 2014
    • 36

    #16
    Originally posted by pkipling
    Great question Rizaan. A lot of different factors go into being a good candidate for a HT and unfortunately, it's not as easy as some people seem to think it is. Here are some of the things you need to take into consideration when looking into whether or not a hair transplant is right for you:

    1) Genetics/Projected hair loss: How predisposed are you to losing your hair, and to what extent? How prominent is it in your family? One thing that is helpful is that surgeons can check the miniaturization levels of your hair and get a tentative "roadmap" of sorts to project where you may be heading with your hair loss. This will help determine how conservative or aggressive the surgeon can be with your hairline/overall placement, or if it's even a good idea to do at all.

    2) Age: How young were you when you first started losing your hair? How fast is it advancing? As a general rule, a person who starts losing their hair at 20 needs to be a lot more cautious than someone who starts losing their hair at 40, for example.

    3) Donor Supply/Hair Type: How thick is your hair and do you have enough density to be able to get the coverage you need? How is your hair type? Is it fine or coarse? Is is straight, wavy, or curly? These all factored in to how big of a challenge your procedure will be, and something you need to take into account when choosing a surgeon.

    4) Finances: Hair transplants are expensive! Not only that, but most people won't need just one hair transplant. They'll most likely need a second one and often a third or a fourth. Is this something you're financially ready for? Not only that, but is this something you want to spend the rest of your life tackling? It's not only a financial commitment, but a time commitment as well. It's often something you'll have to deal with for the rest of your life. And if you do need multiple hair transplants, do you have enough donor hair to make this work? If not, are you willing to try beard hair/body hair? Do you even have beard and body hair to use? It's also very important to note that while there are "cheap/affordable" options out there, you don't want to bargain shop for a hair transplant. Yes, there are fantastic doctors oversees that are more affordable than those in the US, UK, and Canada - but in general, you don't want to make a decision based solely on price.

    5) Expectations: This is key to having a positive experience. The fact of the matter is, Hair Transplants aren't a magical cure. No matter how good a surgeon is, there are limits to what we can achieve. It's called science. Not everyone will be able to achieve a Brad Pitt hairline/density, and to pretend otherwise is dishonest and cruel. If one can't properly manage their expectations and accept the reality of their own circumstances, then you shouldn't move forward with a HT. You'll only end up more distressed and miserable in the long run.

    6) Response/Willingness re: medication: Being willing to take Propecia is big factor, and a decision each man needs to make for himself. If you have very severe hair loss and aren't willing to take Propecia, then you may need to be more conservative with your approach to a HT than someone who will take the drug. Also, see how you respond to it. Do you have side effects? Is it something you want to take for the rest of your life? These are things to think about.

    7) Risks: Like it or not, every single medical procedure on this planet comes with risks. Results are not guaranteed. Yes, you can greatly increase your odds of a positive outcome by doing solid research and choosing a surgeon with a proven, consistent track record. But even the best surgeons in the world have less than stellar cases. This isn't just with hair transplants, but any medical procedure you have done ever. To think otherwise is naive. Is this something you feel comfortable with?

    So as you can see, this isn't an easy, black and white issue. Pursuing a hair transplant should be taken very seriously and given lots of consideration. And what the original poster was pointing out is that for many men, a very reasonable/logical conclusion for them is that they're happier not going through all of this. For me, based on my genetics, family history, age, donor supply, etc., I felt like I was a good candidate and decided to go through with it. Were/are there risks involved? Absolutely. But I went for it, and I'm glad I did. Am I out of the woods? Not by a long shot. I'm in this for the long haul, as is anyone else that goes down this road and you need to make sure you're okay with that.

    As for what Jean Luc is saying, "Without hair, you are inevitably a lesser human," and whatnot? Maybe it's because I'm a little older and have been through some shit in my life, but that's such BS. I guess what this ultimately comes down to is different philosophy on life. If someone subscribes to that mentality, then by all means, suffer and feel insignificant and worthless until you get the hair that you want. Personally, I don't think that's healthy. And frankly? Sometimes it's NOT POSSIBLE. Yes, getting a successful HT can do wonders for your confidence. But it's not necessary. And frankly? Sometimes it's just NOT POSSIBLE. I know plenty of highly successful bald men who are funny and charming and popular and happy with beautiful wives and lives that most men would be jealous of. That's a fact. Not a myth.

    Rizaan, I hope all of this makes sense and gives you a clearer picture. I don't know your situation or circumstances, but I do know that whatever they are, being happy is a choice we can all make right this second.... Wishing you nothing but the best no matter what part of the journey you're on.
    __________________
    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.


    So let's say you are in your 20's and your hit by hairloss. And throughout your 20s you see your peers getting all the action from the ladies and basically living the life you want. Then what are your options? Try and make the best of it or don't ultimately everyone comes to terms with the reality of their situation sooner or later!

    But the point of THIS WEBSITE here...is to offer transparent, honest information first and foremost. This man here is offering his subjective experience which will be UNIQUE and DIFFERENT from everybody else.

    Comment

    • spitfire
      Junior Member
      • Feb 2017
      • 8

      #17
      Originally posted by blahblah
      But the point of THIS WEBSITE here...is to offer transparent, honest information first and foremost. This man here is offering his subjective experience which will be UNIQUE and DIFFERENT from everybody else.
      Exactly. No two people are alike and no two experiences are alike. You will always find examples of bald successful men and successful men with hair (however it is you define success). There is absolutely nothing wrong with accepting male pattern baldness, and there is nothing wrong with not accepting it and doing something about it, and there is nothing wrong with accepting it and waiting to do something about it if the right solution for you becomes available. Whichever approach you take, don't stop making the most of your life...that would be the real tragedy, not hair loss.

      Comment

      • k9gatton
        Senior Member
        • Oct 2016
        • 570

        #18
        Originally posted by spitfire
        Yep. In my forties. I don't think it sucks being older. I have a pretty good life because of my experiences. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I will say, I'm motivated to stay in shape, partly to help me feel better about myself. I can't control my baldness, but there are other things I can control, and that keeps me motivated. Taking care of your teeth, staying clean from drugs and alcohol, taking care of your body and mind. All that helps believes it or not. also, my head is not bad. No bumps or moles/birthmarks. No scars either. Actually looking forward to greying. Hoping it makes me look more distinguished.
        You're in your forties and your hair isn't gray?

        That is interesting. Either you have a stress free life, or good genes. My hair started turning
        gray in my thirties.

        Comment

        • JeanlucBergman
          Senior Member
          • Nov 2016
          • 284

          #19
          Originally posted by spitfire
          Hi Jean. I'll answer a few of your questions. I assure you I am not lying about anything I've posted. I have no reason to. I also have no reason to wish anyone stay bald to make me feel better about myself. In fact, I, like you, would prefer hair like everyone else on this forum. If a safe cure came out tomorrow, I'd be one of the first in line.

          I'm not sure why you've attacked me, or my wife, or for that matter, the love interests of anyone else on this forum. She is not ugly or stupid, and she does in fact have a good paying job at a company she has been with for close to twenty years. And, she is beautiful, inside and out. I haven't accepted mediocrity - I was just lucky enough to find my life partner at a young age.

          Also, I've never read any of the Harry Potter books.

          On settling for a shitty life - I think that's a matter of perspective. Your idea of an ideal life, and my idea of an ideal life are completely different, and that's perfectly fine, and in fact obvious considering our age differences and today's culture. I'm not here to judge you or your goals and aspirations. I hope you achieve them and find happiness. Everyone deserves to be happy. Do whatever it takes. But at the least,intellectually, you should be able to recognize that not everyone wants or needs the same things in life as you to be happy.



          Again, if you take a look back at what I wrote, I wasn't telling anyone to accept baldness. I was telling them to do what makes them happy, and that there are different ways to stay positive should you choose to accept that treatment options are not the route you want to take. Hair transplants are a priority for you, and I totally get it. Your young and single with disposable income. But for others who do not have the financial means, especially those who put the needs of their families before themselves, it's not an option. Also, alot of people don't respond well to chemical treatments, so that may not be an option either.

          Finally, based on the clear prejudice you have against men who have accepted their genetic fate, it wouldn't matter what picture I post - you would not approve.

          Best of luck.
          Thank you for your understanding. I just think that for the majority of people that bald in their late teens and early twenties, life doesn't turn out that way, and they ultimately regret not getting transplants sooner. For every success story, there are another two failures where people are genuinely unhappy for decades of their life because of this issue, all because they heard too much noise about the risks of propecia and hair transplants. In reality they've cut 20 of the best years of their life off because idiots on forums told them they could be happy as bald people. I think if you're unhappy with your baldness and it's becoming an issue you worry about on a daily basis, you should do something about it.

          Comment

          • JeanlucBergman
            Senior Member
            • Nov 2016
            • 284

            #20
            Originally posted by blahblah
            So let's say you are in your 20's and your hit by hairloss. And throughout your 20s you see your peers getting all the action from the ladies and basically living the life you want. Then what are your options? Try and make the best of it or don't ultimately everyone comes to terms with the reality of their situation sooner or later!

            But the point of THIS WEBSITE here...is to offer transparent, honest information first and foremost. This man here is offering his subjective experience which will be UNIQUE and DIFFERENT from everybody else.
            If you have hairloss in your 20s, you should get a hair transplant as soon as you have the funding for one with a well regarded surgeon on the IAHRS list, preferably an FUT. You should also stop listening to the propecia horror stories and get on it ASAP.

            Comment

            • DAVE52
              Senior Member
              • Sep 2010
              • 776

              #21
              Originally posted by JeanlucBergman
              If you have hairloss in your 20s, you should get a hair transplant as soon as you have the funding for one with a well regarded surgeon on the IAHRS list, preferably an FUT. You should also stop listening to the propecia horror stories and get on it ASAP.
              More bad advice

              Comment

              • Gon
                Junior Member
                • Mar 2017
                • 22

                #22
                "just shave it bro, be confident bro"

                I doubt that you'll give the same advice if it was happening to a woman.

                Comment

                • JeanlucBergman
                  Senior Member
                  • Nov 2016
                  • 284

                  #23
                  Originally posted by Gon
                  "just shave it bro, be confident bro"

                  I doubt that you'll give the same advice if it was happening to a woman.
                  Exactly, and a REAL man will fix their hairloss issues with solutions to fight the problem, they won't just shave it off and accept defeat and the fact that they've forever ruined their sex life.

                  Comment

                  • Gon
                    Junior Member
                    • Mar 2017
                    • 22

                    #24
                    Originally posted by JeanlucBergman
                    Exactly, and a REAL man will fix their hairloss issues with solutions to fight the problem, they won't just shave it off and accept defeat and the fact that they've forever ruined their sex life.
                    It's not about sexlife for me, i don't live for women , i live for me and my goals, losing your hair is like dying, you'll never be the same person.

                    Baldness is a tragedy if you're young, i personally would rather cut my balls and donate them to science instead of losing my hair.

                    Comment

                    • DAVE52
                      Senior Member
                      • Sep 2010
                      • 776

                      #25
                      Originally posted by JeanlucBergman
                      "You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out. "

                      You don't, but until you get a transplant and get on treatments, you will be inferior and not be reaching your potential. To accept less than your potential is to accept mediocrity, and that is the truth. Being a 20 year old who can't have sex with anyone younger than 30 is a failure, and NO ONE would be happy about that.
                      What garbage
                      You don't need a HT doc you need a shrink to help you through whatever issues are causing you this hatred

                      Comment

                      • BaldBearded
                        Senior Member
                        • Jan 2017
                        • 552

                        #26
                        Originally posted by dave52
                        what garbage
                        you don't need a ht doc you need a shrink to help you through whatever issues are causing you this hatred
                        amen!

                        Comment

                        • OldEnoughToKnowBetter
                          Junior Member
                          • Aug 2017
                          • 12

                          #27
                          I'm 41 and started losing hair at 20 (mostly temple recession). At the time, I was worried I'd be bald by 25 and a laughing stock among my peers. None of that happened. The loss progressed much slower than I had anticipated -- I'm a Norwood 2-2.5 with diffuse thinning that is visible under strong overhead light and on bad hair days. Otherwise, there are days my hair looks relatively full.

                          I have friends and acquaintances my age who are at various stages of loss who have no problem hooking up with women their age or years younger. It's all about confidence and realizing that most women (even most young women) don't care about a man's hair loss so much as his lack of self-esteem and if he has a bad hairstyle for the shape of his head and the extent of hair loss.

                          For me, hair loss has become less anxiety-provoking as I've gotten older. And, even though the diffuse loss is more visible than it was even just five years ago, I still get plenty of women (older, my age and much younger) looking my way. IMO a combination of maintaining a healthy body weight and having good hygiene go a long way in feeling confident (and, consequently, attracting women).

                          No matter your Norwood level, the best things you can do for yourself are:
                          1.) Don't gain too much weight as you age, or get down to a healthy body-fate percentage and waist size if you're overweight (women find men in the 12-15% range most attractive, and your waist should be no more than half your height, for health reasons);
                          2.) Practice good personal hygiene, as women often complain of men who have bad body odor, don't floss or brush their teeth, don't trim or clean their nails, and don't trim their hair and beard often enough;
                          3.) Practice some form of stress relief, be it meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, rhythmic movement, visualization, yoga or tai chi. In addition to reducing stress, relaxation techniques can make you less emotionally reactive.

                          TBH just being in shape and maintaining a health body-fat percentage will give you a huge leg up on most men as you move into your 30s and 40s (71 percent of men over 20 are either overweight or obese). An out-of-shape guy with a full head of hair and high body-fat percentage is much worse off than a balding guy who's in shape.

                          Comment

                          • PayDay
                            Senior Member
                            • Nov 2008
                            • 604

                            #28
                            Originally posted by OldEnoughToKnowBetter
                            I'm 41 and started losing hair at 20 (mostly temple recession). At the time, I was worried I'd be bald by 25 and a laughing stock among my peers. None of that happened. The loss progressed much slower than I had anticipated -- I'm a Norwood 2-2.5 with diffuse thinning that is visible under strong overhead light and on bad hair days. Otherwise, there are days my hair looks relatively full.

                            I have friends and acquaintances my age who are at various stages of loss who have no problem hooking up with women their age or years younger. It's all about confidence and realizing that most women (even most young women) don't care about a man's hair loss so much as his lack of self-esteem and if he has a bad hairstyle for the shape of his head and the extent of hair loss.

                            For me, hair loss has become less anxiety-provoking as I've gotten older. And, even though the diffuse loss is more visible than it was even just five years ago, I still get plenty of women (older, my age and much younger) looking my way. IMO a combination of maintaining a healthy body weight and having good hygiene go a long way in feeling confident (and, consequently, attracting women).

                            No matter your Norwood level, the best things you can do for yourself are:
                            1.) Don't gain too much weight as you age, or get down to a healthy body-fate percentage and waist size if you're overweight (women find men in the 12-15% range most attractive, and your waist should be no more than half your height, for health reasons);
                            2.) Practice good personal hygiene, as women often complain of men who have bad body odor, don't floss or brush their teeth, don't trim or clean their nails, and don't trim their hair and beard often enough;
                            3.) Practice some form of stress relief, be it meditation, progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, rhythmic movement, visualization, yoga or tai chi. In addition to reducing stress, relaxation techniques can make you less emotionally reactive.

                            TBH just being in shape and maintaining a health body-fat percentage will give you a huge leg up on most men as you move into your 30s and 40s (71 percent of men over 20 are either overweight or obese). An out-of-shape guy with a full head of hair and high body-fat percentage is much worse off than a balding guy who's in shape.
                            That's great advice. I'm an older guy myself and have been dealing with hair loss for more than 20 years. The best advice Spencer Kobren ever gave me on his show was to get my ass in shape. As long as we are healthy it's something we have complete control over. Propecia has helped me maintain hair, but staying fit has helped me both mentally and in most aspects of my life. Most guys who start losing hair young just give up and let themselves go to shit. It's a huge mistake not to take control of what we can in life and to just play victims.

                            Comment

                            • OldEnoughToKnowBetter
                              Junior Member
                              • Aug 2017
                              • 12

                              #29
                              Originally posted by PayDay
                              That's great advice. I'm an older guy myself and have been dealing with hair loss for more than 20 years. The best advice Spencer Kobren ever gave me on his show was to get my ass in shape. As long as we are healthy it's something we have complete control over. Propecia has helped me maintain hair, but staying fit has helped me both mentally and in most aspects of my life. Most guys who start losing hair young just give up and let themselves go to shit. It's a huge mistake not to take control of what we can in life and to just play victims.
                              Thanks! Have you been on Propecia for long? I tried to take it back in 1999 and had side effects. I'm thinking of giving it another try, but I'm not as concerned about hair loss as I was back then at 22-23.

                              Comment

                              • PayDay
                                Senior Member
                                • Nov 2008
                                • 604

                                #30
                                Originally posted by OldEnoughToKnowBetter
                                Thanks! Have you been on Propecia for long? I tried to take it back in 1999 and had side effects. I'm thinking of giving it another try, but I'm not as concerned about hair loss as I was back then at 22-23.
                                Been on it for over a decade. No side effects and maintained my hair very well.

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