Perspective from a forty something on hair loss. - BaldTruthTalk.com
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  1. #1
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    Default Perspective from a forty something on hair loss.

    Just wanted to offer my real world experience.

    Suffer from mpb. Started thinning when I was 19/20. By 21 there was no hiding it. I met a beautiful lady that year. We fell in love, got married five years later and have been together since. Had I not met her, I'm positive I would have had a great dating/sex life in my 20's and 30's. There were numbers of times in my 20's and 30's that women would come up to me in bars and offer to by me drinks. I even had an offer once from two women (talk about an ego boost!) Of course I never took any of them up on it because I was in a monogamous relationship. I am not "hot" in the traditional sense. I'm 5'10, on the thinner side but with a slim muscular build. I am fun and outgoing regardless of hair loss. In fact, I never got too depressed over it. It sucked, yeah, but it didn't stop my life. I still get insecure sometimes. I think that has more to do with the inevitable fact that I'm not "young" anymore, which is something all men face. Would I look better with hair? No doubt about it. Would I have attracted more women in my youth with hair? No doubt whatsoever. Do I attract women in their twenties now? Honestly, I don't think so. But none of that matters. The woman I've been with for 23 years has always accepted me for me, the man she fell in love with. We have been 100% faithful to each other all these years, have a family, and the passion we have for each other grows more each day. Our sex is incredible - and that's important for sure, but more importantly she loves me unconditionally, regardless of the amount of hair on my head.

    Believe me guys, when I say I know all about the insecurities of being bald. My best advice, eat right, take care of yourself, exercise, keep a close haircut, and most importantly, try and build some self confidence. Try hair restoration if you want. I just never wanted to put that much time and energy into something that would prolong the inevitable. Let's face it, being bald, you may not be able to turn heads right away anymore, or maybe you do, but I've found once women get to know you, through interactions at work or social groups, etc. they start looking past physical traits and accept you for who you are. I'm bald, but I have real conversations with people, I can make women laugh, they compliment me on occasion, and we can have fun. That makes me feel good about myself. Stay strong in the struggle and good luck.

  2. #2
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    That's good that you're married/with someone and have a great sex life.

    My head is very strange shaped. Short hair makes it much worse. Are you in your forties?

    That's where I am. It sucks it being old. And my partner isn't sexually attracted to me when
    I have short hair. No question about that.

    If my women left me, I would go to the gym. But I would definitely get a transplant, and stay
    on hair medication, because of bumps that show on my head.

    Had buzz cuts before. But it looks strange with anything shorter than an inch/2.5 centimeters.

  3. #3
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    Yep. In my forties. I don't think it sucks being older. I have a pretty good life because of my experiences. I'm in better shape than I've ever been. I will say, I'm motivated to stay in shape, partly to help me feel better about myself. I can't control my baldness, but there are other things I can control, and that keeps me motivated. Taking care of your teeth, staying clean from drugs and alcohol, taking care of your body and mind. All that helps believes it or not. also, my head is not bad. No bumps or moles/birthmarks. No scars either. Actually looking forward to greying. Hoping it makes me look more distinguished.

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    Also, meditation, sun gazing, no fap. Believe that.

  5. #5
    Senior Member pkipling's Avatar
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    Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.

    Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility.

    __________________
    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkipling View Post
    Dude. Thank you for this. Even though I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a hair transplant, I do know that everything you're saying is true. So many of our struggles and shortcomings in life can be transformed and reimagined into something not so crippling if we just have the right attitude and perspective - both things that we have complete control over.

    Thank you for your words and your wisdom. I really hope many of the young hair loss sufferers who think their lives are over see this and gain a new perspective. There is always another way to live if we only choose to be open to its possibility.

    __________________
    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.
    So sick of hearing that kind of filth from someone with a hair transplant.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by spitfire View Post
    Just wanted to offer my real world experience.

    Suffer from mpb. Started thinning when I was 19/20. By 21 there was no hiding it. I met a beautiful lady that year. We fell in love, got married five years later and have been together since. Had I not met her, I'm positive I would have had a great dating/sex life in my 20's and 30's. There were numbers of times in my 20's and 30's that women would come up to me in bars and offer to by me drinks. I even had an offer once from two women (talk about an ego boost!) Of course I never took any of them up on it because I was in a monogamous relationship. I am not "hot" in the traditional sense. I'm 5'10, on the thinner side but with a slim muscular build. I am fun and outgoing regardless of hair loss. In fact, I never got too depressed over it. It sucked, yeah, but it didn't stop my life. I still get insecure sometimes. I think that has more to do with the inevitable fact that I'm not "young" anymore, which is something all men face. Would I look better with hair? No doubt about it. Would I have attracted more women in my youth with hair? No doubt whatsoever. Do I attract women in their twenties now? Honestly, I don't think so. But none of that matters. The woman I've been with for 23 years has always accepted me for me, the man she fell in love with. We have been 100% faithful to each other all these years, have a family, and the passion we have for each other grows more each day. Our sex is incredible - and that's important for sure, but more importantly she loves me unconditionally, regardless of the amount of hair on my head.

    Believe me guys, when I say I know all about the insecurities of being bald. My best advice, eat right, take care of yourself, exercise, keep a close haircut, and most importantly, try and build some self confidence. Try hair restoration if you want. I just never wanted to put that much time and energy into something that would prolong the inevitable. Let's face it, being bald, you may not be able to turn heads right away anymore, or maybe you do, but I've found once women get to know you, through interactions at work or social groups, etc. they start looking past physical traits and accept you for who you are. I'm bald, but I have real conversations with people, I can make women laugh, they compliment me on occasion, and we can have fun. That makes me feel good about myself. Stay strong in the struggle and good luck.
    Such a disgusting post. Do you have pictures, or are you just another liar wanting more people to stay bald? The women interested in bald guys are ugly, have bad jobs or are just plain stupid. You've accepted mediocrity, that is all your post is about. You probably think Harry Potter is the pinnacle of western culture, I doubt for one second you'd have a decent job or the ability to have a legitimately intellectual conversation.

    Your "fun" with 3/10s is mediocrity. What you did was settle for second best. There's nothing inspiring about what you said, you've just accepted a shitty life.

  8. #8
    Senior Member pkipling's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JeanlucBergman View Post
    So sick of hearing that kind of filth from someone with a hair transplant.
    First off, I have nothing but compassion for guys suffering from MPB who aren't candidates for HTs and/or don't respond well to meds. It sucks, and I'm grateful every single day that I was able to get a hair transplant. But if I hadn't, I assure you I would've found a way to not let it defeat me - just like I've done with other struggles and challenges life has thrown my way.

    And yes, I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a HT, but that doesn't disqualify me or any other HT recipients from trying to encourage those without a current solution from possibly seeking an alternative perspective. The advice Spitfire gave in this post doesn't just apply to MPB; it applies to any area of our lives that cause us pain and suffering: breakups, divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or just having a crappy day. Sometimes life isn't what we want it to be and things get thrown our way that we don't like. That happens to every single person that walks this earth, and none of us can escape it. Nobody is saying we should roll over when life gets rough. Fight if you want. Look for solutions. Try to change the situation. But sometimes, there's nothing you can do to change things. Sometimes, life is what it is. People get cancer, and they deal with it. People get MS, and they deal with it. A man's wife walks out on him, and he deals with it. People lose their hair, and they deal with it.

    It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. I'm not. I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things.

    From where you sit, I may have it a lot better than you. But believe it or not, in spite of my hair, my life isn't perfect. But every day I have a choice to focus on what's not working in my life or focus on what is. If you don't want to listen to any other points of view on how to handle MPB when it's clear that you're stuck with it, then don't. But there is another way to live if you want to. You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out.

    And lastly, what you said about Spitfire accepting a "shitty life" is rude, disrespectful, and completely out of line. This forum needs to be a place where people can discuss all different ways of handling MPB. This is how he coped with it, and from where I sit, it seems like a much better approach than the one you're choosing. If you want to be negative and feel like your life is over, go for it. But don't knock others who find a way out of their misery.
    __________________
    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

  9. #9
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    pkipling, what made you a good HT canndidate? You say finesteride doesn't 'work' for you, and if you have ALA, won't you lose the rest of your hair gradually?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by pkipling View Post
    First off, I have nothing but compassion for guys suffering from MPB who aren't candidates for HTs and/or don't respond well to meds. It sucks, and I'm grateful every single day that I was able to get a hair transplant. But if I hadn't, I assure you I would've found a way to not let it defeat me - just like I've done with other struggles and challenges life has thrown my way.

    And yes, I was fortunate enough to be a good candidate for a HT, but that doesn't disqualify me or any other HT recipients from trying to encourage those without a current solution from possibly seeking an alternative perspective. The advice Spitfire gave in this post doesn't just apply to MPB; it applies to any area of our lives that cause us pain and suffering: breakups, divorce, death of a loved one, loss of a job, or just having a crappy day. Sometimes life isn't what we want it to be and things get thrown our way that we don't like. That happens to every single person that walks this earth, and none of us can escape it. Nobody is saying we should roll over when life gets rough. Fight if you want. Look for solutions. Try to change the situation. But sometimes, there's nothing you can do to change things. Sometimes, life is what it is. People get cancer, and they deal with it. People get MS, and they deal with it. A man's wife walks out on him, and he deals with it. People lose their hair, and they deal with it.

    It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. I'm not. I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things.

    From where you sit, I may have it a lot better than you. But believe it or not, in spite of my hair, my life isn't perfect. But every day I have a choice to focus on what's not working in my life or focus on what is. If you don't want to listen to any other points of view on how to handle MPB when it's clear that you're stuck with it, then don't. But there is another way to live if you want to. You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out.

    And lastly, what you said about Spitfire accepting a "shitty life" is rude, disrespectful, and completely out of line. This forum needs to be a place where people can discuss all different ways of handling MPB. This is how he coped with it, and from where I sit, it seems like a much better approach than the one you're choosing. If you want to be negative and feel like your life is over, go for it. But don't knock others who find a way out of their misery.
    __________________
    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My views/opinions are my own and don't necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.
    "It's interesting to me that you seem to think that people who suffer from MPB are the only ones who suffer, and that if you have hair, your life is perfect. You don't know what goes on in my life or Spitfire's or anyone else's. The principles he talked about in his post are principles that I apply to my life on a daily basis when things get rough. You also seem to think that because I had one successful hair transplant that I'm out of the woods. I'm not. I don't respond well to Propecia and recently stopped taking it. I'm concerned about my crown. What if I got a HT too young? What if my hairline is too low? What if I need a second, third, or fourth hair transplant? What if I run out of grafts? Stop believing that you're the only one who gets dealt blows by life. Every single person on this forum has stuff happen to them that could turn them into an angry, bitter person... But the point of life is trying to figure out how to live a happy life in spite of these things. "

    My point in particular is that those with hairloss should fight against it and go the transplant route. I'm a 22 year old norwood 3 diffusing in a 5a pattern, and despite having sex with 10 girls a year, having a 70k salary at a proper finance job my age and 60k in savings, EVERYTHING becomes corrupted and sickening when you have baldness. There are ****ing homeless men with better hair than me, and every day I FEEL like a homeless man because of my hair. I finally put the deposit down for a transplant I had the money for for 3 years with Koray Erdogan, and FINALLY I feel satisfied with life. I'd tried long enough with your stupid, ignorant idea of acceptance (despite the fact that you have a transplant, so did the opposite) And lmfao about "is my hairline too low?" What a STUPID thing to say. I've NEVER seen anyone with a transplanted hairline that is "too low" and I've seen THOUSANDS. If you need a second, third or fourth transplant, who CARES? At least you experienced your youth with hair. You can always mix the crown and midsection with beard and body hairs or use toppik, the most important aspect is the hairline.

    And yes, bald men with shitty jobs in their 40s on lower salaries than me who never experienced sleeping with 18 year olds consistently did settle for mediocrity. Without hair, you are inevitably a lesser human, and people are genetically wired to see you as genetically inferior to others. It is instinctual and seen as a sign of poor health that will affect your attractiveness, and also your job prospects. Bald people statistically have lower salaries. You are the one suggesting my point about MPB is invalid, and you do so with a full head of hair because you have a transplant. You're the one trying to attack free speech because of this RIDICULOUS post without any photos basically telling people to accept a genetic defect. That isn't helping people to become a stronger person, it's telling them to accept their present state of failure, mediocrity and genetic inferiority.

    "You don't have to be bald and miserable, and that's all Spitfire was pointing out. "

    You don't, but until you get a transplant and get on treatments, you will be inferior and not be reaching your potential. To accept less than your potential is to accept mediocrity, and that is the truth. Being a 20 year old who can't have sex with anyone younger than 30 is a failure, and NO ONE would be happy about that.

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