22yo with Hair Loss, New to Forums

[Locke]

Hello everyone,

What a great find this forum has been! It's amazing to read stories of people who can actually relate to what I'm going through. I'm a 22yo male with a decent amount of hair loss (you can see my post in the Hair Transplant thread).

I'm just going to vent and tell my story. Maybe other young men can relate to my story as I've related to others on this forum.

Here it goes...
At 18 years old I noticed that the hairs on one side of my hairline were becoming progressively thinner and thinner. I attributed this to having always been that way because at the time I was unfamiliar with the process of hair miniaturization. I liked styling my hair by flipping it up and at this point in my life I was very happy with the way I looked. I was going to the gym and had a good physique. Basically, I felt like an attractive looking guy and I just felt good about myself. I can't really explain it but I just did. I was happy.

The summer after my 2nd year of university (20 yo) I noticed my hair had receded a decent length so I contacted an Alvi Armani representative about having a hair transplant done. At the time my hair looked decent and I could still style it, although I was a bit unhappy about realizing I was looking my hair at such an early age. He recommended I wait until I was 28 to have it done.

I brought his business card home and placed it on my desk. Later my ex-gf came over and found it on my desk and I had to tell her that I was losing my hair and was seriously contemplating having a HT done. She looked at me like I was crazy and I felt really embarrassed and vulnerable at that moment. It was an absolutely terrible feeling. What reason did I have to feel that way? You'd think people would be sympathetic but sympathy isn't something that male-pattern baldness invokes in others. (That's why coming to this forum is so amazing where people understand!!!!) She said I had nothing to worry about and that her dad was bald when he met her mother. Maybe she was right but that still didn't change the way I felt about the way I looked.

In 3rd year (21 years old) I started taking finasteride and rogaine. I remember going to the pharmacy and picking up these meds only to have the women pharmacists (one a teenager and one in early 40's) go behind another wall and talk about why a 21 year old would possibly need rogaine. I felt absolutely terrible.

I used the meds for about 6 months and I assumed they'd either stop or allow me to grow back some hair but I was being unrealistic. I stopped using them but in retrospect I think they were at least slowing down the progress of my hair loss. The problem with using Rogaine twice a day was that when I used it in the morning it left my hair feeling really oily, thin, and just really gross. So for the 6 months I wore a hat ALL THE TIME. To every single class. And people started noticing and commented on it. I wasn't feeling very good about it at this point.

Throughout 4th year I've continued to wear a hat and I don't like it. AT ALL. The only time I feel okay to take my hat off is if I'm at home and have my door closed. If someone comes and knocks on the door the first thing I have to do is scramble to find my hat before I can open it. I HATE IT.

I also HATE when people who think you're wearing your hat too much decide to just smack it off your head in public and proceed to tell you "It's no big deal". My blood boils at the thought and I'd like to swear while typing this but I won't.Then I need to scramble to brush my hair down with my hand and call attention to my receding hairline by everyone who's watching. WHAT A GREAT CONFIDENCE BUILDING EXERCISE! People think they're making you feel better by doing this but they're doing the exact opposite. One time I had this happen and the guy took my hat. A girl I was with confronted him and gave it back to me but before putting it on looked at me and said "Oh my god what happened to your hair!". WOW THAT MADE ME FEEL SO GOOD. Would you ask that to someone who's going through chemotherapy and is losing their hair? Of course not.

I don't go the gym anymore because I can't wear my hat at the gym and through all the movement I know my hair will move out of its set place revealing how bad my receding actually is.

I often get the reaction from most people and my parents, "It's not a big deal", "It doesn't look that bad", "Just shave it off". NONE of these people know what it feels like. It's so easy to say but they don't have to live with it every day, they don't have to look in the mirror every day and see something they don't like. they don't have to go through every social interaction thinking about it. For example, I was at a medical conference last year talking to a girl about a volunteer organization I work with. I looked away for a second then when I glanced back I caught her eyes looking at my hair. So every single interaction I have with people their judging my hairline? That's great to hear....

Maybe I should just shave it off and move on? I find having longer hair makes hair loss A LOT more noticeable.

Positives
I hope to be in medical school next year and believe that is my calling. I know that losing my hair has really made me a lot more sympathetic to the suffering of others and in that sense I'm glad to have gone through this situation. Putting it into perspective, there are many more people at my age who suffer from debilitating diseases and I'm aware of that. I really am blessed that my only health issue is my hair. Overall, I've learned to no longer just brush people off who are having their own medical problems by saying, "it's not that bad".

Summary
I really just wanted to rant and get this out of my system. I don't know if it's very concise but I feel a lot better having done it. I'm sure some of you can relate.

Maybe at some point in my life I will no longer care about my hairline but being only 22 years old it's hard to cope with. Maybe if I was 30 or 40, had a wife, and was established in my job I wouldn't care so much.

Overall, hair loss has caused me a great deal of grief, frustration, and lost confidence. If I have my hat on I'm incredibly confident but once it comes off not so much. It's kind of like the difference between Clark Kent and Superman with the removal of only his glasses. I just wish I could have that feeling all the time and without having to wear a hat...