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  1. #1
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    Default 22yo with Hair Loss, New to Forums

    Hello everyone,

    What a great find this forum has been! It's amazing to read stories of people who can actually relate to what I'm going through. I'm a 22yo male with a decent amount of hair loss (you can see my post in the Hair Transplant thread).

    I'm just going to vent and tell my story. Maybe other young men can relate to my story as I've related to others on this forum.

    Here it goes...
    At 18 years old I noticed that the hairs on one side of my hairline were becoming progressively thinner and thinner. I attributed this to having always been that way because at the time I was unfamiliar with the process of hair miniaturization. I liked styling my hair by flipping it up and at this point in my life I was very happy with the way I looked. I was going to the gym and had a good physique. Basically, I felt like an attractive looking guy and I just felt good about myself. I can't really explain it but I just did. I was happy.

    The summer after my 2nd year of university (20 yo) I noticed my hair had receded a decent length so I contacted an Alvi Armani representative about having a hair transplant done. At the time my hair looked decent and I could still style it, although I was a bit unhappy about realizing I was looking my hair at such an early age. He recommended I wait until I was 28 to have it done.

    I brought his business card home and placed it on my desk. Later my ex-gf came over and found it on my desk and I had to tell her that I was losing my hair and was seriously contemplating having a HT done. She looked at me like I was crazy and I felt really embarrassed and vulnerable at that moment. It was an absolutely terrible feeling. What reason did I have to feel that way? You'd think people would be sympathetic but sympathy isn't something that male-pattern baldness invokes in others. (That's why coming to this forum is so amazing where people understand!!!!) She said I had nothing to worry about and that her dad was bald when he met her mother. Maybe she was right but that still didn't change the way I felt about the way I looked.

    In 3rd year (21 years old) I started taking finasteride and rogaine. I remember going to the pharmacy and picking up these meds only to have the women pharmacists (one a teenager and one in early 40's) go behind another wall and talk about why a 21 year old would possibly need rogaine. I felt absolutely terrible.

    I used the meds for about 6 months and I assumed they'd either stop or allow me to grow back some hair but I was being unrealistic. I stopped using them but in retrospect I think they were at least slowing down the progress of my hair loss. The problem with using Rogaine twice a day was that when I used it in the morning it left my hair feeling really oily, thin, and just really gross. So for the 6 months I wore a hat ALL THE TIME. To every single class. And people started noticing and commented on it. I wasn't feeling very good about it at this point.

    Throughout 4th year I've continued to wear a hat and I don't like it. AT ALL. The only time I feel okay to take my hat off is if I'm at home and have my door closed. If someone comes and knocks on the door the first thing I have to do is scramble to find my hat before I can open it. I HATE IT.

    I also HATE when people who think you're wearing your hat too much decide to just smack it off your head in public and proceed to tell you "It's no big deal". My blood boils at the thought and I'd like to swear while typing this but I won't.Then I need to scramble to brush my hair down with my hand and call attention to my receding hairline by everyone who's watching. WHAT A GREAT CONFIDENCE BUILDING EXERCISE! People think they're making you feel better by doing this but they're doing the exact opposite. One time I had this happen and the guy took my hat. A girl I was with confronted him and gave it back to me but before putting it on looked at me and said "Oh my god what happened to your hair!". WOW THAT MADE ME FEEL SO GOOD. Would you ask that to someone who's going through chemotherapy and is losing their hair? Of course not.

    I don't go the gym anymore because I can't wear my hat at the gym and through all the movement I know my hair will move out of its set place revealing how bad my receding actually is.

    I often get the reaction from most people and my parents, "It's not a big deal", "It doesn't look that bad", "Just shave it off". NONE of these people know what it feels like. It's so easy to say but they don't have to live with it every day, they don't have to look in the mirror every day and see something they don't like. they don't have to go through every social interaction thinking about it. For example, I was at a medical conference last year talking to a girl about a volunteer organization I work with. I looked away for a second then when I glanced back I caught her eyes looking at my hair. So every single interaction I have with people their judging my hairline? That's great to hear....

    Maybe I should just shave it off and move on? I find having longer hair makes hair loss A LOT more noticeable.

    Positives
    I hope to be in medical school next year and believe that is my calling. I know that losing my hair has really made me a lot more sympathetic to the suffering of others and in that sense I'm glad to have gone through this situation. Putting it into perspective, there are many more people at my age who suffer from debilitating diseases and I'm aware of that. I really am blessed that my only health issue is my hair. Overall, I've learned to no longer just brush people off who are having their own medical problems by saying, "it's not that bad".

    Summary
    I really just wanted to rant and get this out of my system. I don't know if it's very concise but I feel a lot better having done it. I'm sure some of you can relate.

    Maybe at some point in my life I will no longer care about my hairline but being only 22 years old it's hard to cope with. Maybe if I was 30 or 40, had a wife, and was established in my job I wouldn't care so much.

    Overall, hair loss has caused me a great deal of grief, frustration, and lost confidence. If I have my hat on I'm incredibly confident but once it comes off not so much. It's kind of like the difference between Clark Kent and Superman with the removal of only his glasses. I just wish I could have that feeling all the time and without having to wear a hat...

  2. #2
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    sorry to hear you're feeling so down. i'd get back on the meds (either propecia or avodart) and use the rogaine foam (it's not greasy). use them for a while to see if it stabilizes your hair loss and then look into getting a hair transplant. dr. ron shapiro also does fue and has an excellent rep. hope you feel better and things improve.

  3. #3
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    The only people who say it's no big deal are people who are not losing their hair. Whether or not they really mean that I've never been able to figure out.

    At least you've got a good career ahead of you. Medicine is a good field to go into for someone who is balding for a variety of reasons:

    1) No one will ever be able to sell you snake oil, because you'll be too savvy and knowledgeable to fall for it.

    2) You can often wear a hat.

    3) It'll be very difficult for anyone to discriminate against you based on your appearance, because you're in a field where talent talks. Think yourself very lucky you're not in a corporate career where people are image obsessed.

    4) You have the means and education to have a good head start if you want to become a leading hair loss expert.

    In the mean time, get on the Propecia. Also, it might be worth talking to some of the people here about Fluridil. I've never used it myself, but apparently it's as good as minoxidil, but no where near as greasy.

  4. #4
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    Welcome to the forum. We’ve all been in your shoes and it doesn't feel good, but in time things do get better. In your case, I’m glad that you didn’t rush into surgery, it could have been the worst mistake of your young life.
    The guys are right, you should consider getting back on the meds to see if you can stabilize your hair loss. Keep doing what your doing with your education and as Spencer Kobren always says, take this time to focus on building your life and your career. You’ll be surprised at how much better things will be for you when you become established in life. Depression is part of the hair loss battle, but many men find ways of coping and live very fulfilling lives. You sound like you’ll be one of those men.

  5. #5
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    If you ever wanted evidence that god doesn't exist, baldness is it. Despite what Hollywood tries to tell us, baldness seems to only happen to good people. Visit the average prison and most of the scumbags still have a good hairline (I think it should be forcibly removed by FUE to sell to the Chinese as a punishment but apparently that counts as torture).

    Unfortunately, baldness does have a habit of turning good people bad. I'm a complete bastard these days who doesn't give a damn about anyone, which is quite a change from who I was 7 years ago. Fun as it is, I recommend you stick to medicine and don't become a bastard.

  6. #6
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    Welcome to the forum, your post very much reminds me of myself but I have avoided hats altogether and shaved my head. It's definitely made me less spontaneous in going out and going to random places etc at times because of the confidence knock, but generally I just walk out the house and don't think twice about my hair. It's definitely worth a try if you think it might suit you. To just repeat what others have said, your in a fantastic career field and I think you should try and get motivation from the adversity and really focus on the medicine studies man. Unfortunately I'm passionate about fashion and music and my new lack of confidence has really driven me away from trying to pursue any related career. I am just going to try and work hard at university for my geography degree.

    I use rogaine foam at the moment and it's so easy to apply, it literally takes me 5 seconds although it may take you a little longer if you have longer hair. There is no greasy feeling and I have suffered no side effects, I think you should give Propecia and Rogaine foam a go, and if you want to do that bit extra use nizoral shampoo.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkamph View Post
    sorry to hear you're feeling so down. i'd get back on the meds (either propecia or avodart) and use the rogaine foam (it's not greasy). use them for a while to see if it stabilizes your hair loss and then look into getting a hair transplant. dr. ron shapiro also does fue and has an excellent rep. hope you feel better and things improve.
    I think I'm going to start using the foam and meds and see if they work for me. Do most people stabilize their hair line before getting a HT or get the transplant and use the meds at the same time?

    If I spend the next year trying to stabilize my hairline and it doesn't work then I could have been letting the hair from my HT grow in during that time.

    If more hair falls out behind the the already transplanted hair does it look really bad? Have you seen this before?

    Quote Originally Posted by Fixed by 35 View Post
    The only people who say it's no big deal are people who are not losing their hair. Whether or not they really mean that I've never been able to figure out.

    At least you've got a good career ahead of you. Medicine is a good field to go into for someone who is balding for a variety of reasons:

    1) No one will ever be able to sell you snake oil, because you'll be too savvy and knowledgeable to fall for it.

    2) You can often wear a hat.

    3) It'll be very difficult for anyone to discriminate against you based on your appearance, because you're in a field where talent talks. Think yourself very lucky you're not in a corporate career where people are image obsessed.

    4) You have the means and education to have a good head start if you want to become a leading hair loss expert.

    In the mean time, get on the Propecia. Also, it might be worth talking to some of the people here about Fluridil. I've never used it myself, but apparently it's as good as minoxidil, but no where near as greasy.
    Thanks for the advice! I've read on other threads you're disdain for the corporate industry being focused on image. Does this cause you not to enjoy your job? If so, why continue doing it? Why not get into medicine? We could even end up in the same class!

    Quote Originally Posted by Winston View Post
    Welcome to the forum. Weíve all been in your shoes and it doesn't feel good, but in time things do get better. In your case, Iím glad that you didnít rush into surgery, it could have been the worst mistake of your young life.
    The guys are right, you should consider getting back on the meds to see if you can stabilize your hair loss. Keep doing what your doing with your education and as Spencer Kobren always says, take this time to focus on building your life and your career. Youíll be surprised at how much better things will be for you when you become established in life. Depression is part of the hair loss battle, but many men find ways of coping and live very fulfilling lives. You sound like youíll be one of those men.
    I got a hair cut today and it really doesn't look that bad. I find having shorter hair looks a lot better than having the long hair I had in the pictures I posted in the HT thread.

    Thanks for the kind words!

    Quote Originally Posted by Fixed by 35 View Post
    If you ever wanted evidence that god doesn't exist, baldness is it. Despite what Hollywood tries to tell us, baldness seems to only happen to good people. Visit the average prison and most of the scumbags still have a good hairline (I think it should be forcibly removed by FUE to sell to the Chinese as a punishment but apparently that counts as torture).

    Unfortunately, baldness does have a habit of turning good people bad. I'm a complete bastard these days who doesn't give a damn about anyone, which is quite a change from who I was 7 years ago. Fun as it is, I recommend you stick to medicine and don't become a bastard.
    I have a different opinion on the matter. I'm very fortunate in my life to have great family and friends (even you guys on the forum), to be able to travel, and to have a university education. I have to work my ass off all the time and study but I'm blessed to be able to do it.

    Perhaps the only way God can balance the universe and balance all the good fortune I've received is to take away my hair?

    Maybe all us balding guys just have it so good in other areas of our lives that this is God's way of keeping us humble?

    Haha, maybe I'm wrong?

    Quote Originally Posted by JOE-91 View Post
    Welcome to the forum, your post very much reminds me of myself but I have avoided hats altogether and shaved my head. It's definitely made me less spontaneous in going out and going to random places etc at times because of the confidence knock, but generally I just walk out the house and don't think twice about my hair. It's definitely worth a try if you think it might suit you. To just repeat what others have said, your in a fantastic career field and I think you should try and get motivation from the adversity and really focus on the medicine studies man. Unfortunately I'm passionate about fashion and music and my new lack of confidence has really driven me away from trying to pursue any related career. I am just going to try and work hard at university for my geography degree.

    I use rogaine foam at the moment and it's so easy to apply, it literally takes me 5 seconds although it may take you a little longer if you have longer hair. There is no greasy feeling and I have suffered no side effects, I think you should give Propecia and Rogaine foam a go, and if you want to do that bit extra use nizoral shampoo.
    I think I'm going to try the Rogaine foam and Propecia. I also think I'm going to keep my hair very short for a while and see how I like it.

    Good luck with your geography degree!

  8. #8
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    You sound like a really decent guy, get your treatments and try and stop thinking about the hair loss and I'm sure you'll be fine mate.

  9. #9
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    Why not get into medicine?
    You wouldn't need to ask if you knew me! I'm one of those cowards that goes faint at the sight of blood, I can't help it! I did consider being a pharmacist once, but to be honest I've always thought that unless a person is hyper intelligent they're either good at the sciences or the humanities (or if neither they do a commerce or accounting degree!). I definitely fall into the humanities category, which is why I'm a corporate secretary rather than an accountant (yes, even humanities students have a role to play in business)!

    I do have a future in the corporate world but I'm going to have to do far more off my own back than a pretty boy would. All they have to do to succeed is turn up to work, do a half arsed job then take the boss out for a drink.

    I'll need to establish my own company to get any further, because then results will be impossible to ignore. If I do get this far, it'll be a company that only employs bald people! Including the women, before anyone says I'm sexist!

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