43 - Venting

[DarthDiffuse]

Not really looking for advice. More like just needing a place to vent and deal with my hairloss.

I'll be 43 this Summer and I'm probably a Norwood 2 (if I had to compare, I'd say the same hairline as Johnny Depp or Hugh Jackman).

The problem is, I'm experiencing diffusing.
I used to always have a thick head of hair. My barber would make jokes and complain that cutting my hair was like snipping piano wire.
All my buddies were jealous of me and for years would complain about their recession/hari loss while cursing me because I'd never go bald.

But approximately 5 years ago, I started to notice issues with my hair thinning.
It started shortly after I was taking creatine.
I eventually quit after 3 years of being on the stuff. I've read countless posts on fitness sites of guys complaining about the same thing.
*In fact there are many posts from hair specialists who say they get dozen of emails a week asking for correlations between creatine and hair loss - In 2009 a report came out of Europe where a study showed that subjects consuming creatine saw their DHT levels increase).
Anyway, that's not really the point of this post.

The point is I'm having trouble dealing with it. There are days where I'll really notice the diffuse and it'll dictate my mood throughout the day. I hate that.
I have a loving wife and 3 great kids. They don't need a mopy husband and father.
And for what? Because my hair is thinning? I don't have cancer. I have a great job. A great life. I wish it didn't affect me as much as it does.

I guess what's hard for me to accept this is that there is no balding on either side of my family.
My father is going to be 69 and he has a full head of hair.
My grandfathers on both sides died with thick heads of hair. Uncles, cousins... all of them have full heads of hair on both sides of the family.
But whether the creatine was a catalyst or not, my older brother (45) is almost completely bald on top. The other (also 45 - they're twins - non-identical) is also thinning. He cuts his hair very short, gels it and slicks it back. You can see thinning on his crown. (he has no idea he's thinning. He talks about having a full head of thick hair all the time. I wish I had his level of ignorance).
So clearly there is a rogue gene running through our blood.

The thing is, the thinning isn't really that noticeable unless I'm directly under bright light.
Under normal lights, I don't think you can notice. I've even had people tell me they're jealous of my hair.
But if I took a photo of me from about a foot' underneath a bright light, you can really tell I'm experiencing thinning.

I'm not going to get on meds or see a doctor about it. Maybe it's because I don't need the confirmation, haha. I guess I'm just a coward.

I'm just using this site as a place to vent and get my frustrations and stress out.
I need to look at the positives in my life and realize that there are men out there with beautiful heads of hair who would trade their life for mine in a heartbeat.
Not even to mention the poor women of this world who are experiencing hairloss.
North American society has placed such an emphasis on beauty, it must be hell for them.
They're constantly bombarded with impossible standards. I do most of the grocery shopping and I see the magazines on display by the checkout counters.
So few women would be able to stack-up to the kind of standard that's on display there.
So I know I shouldn't bitch and moan. And I'm sorry if I've rubbed anyone the wrong way here.
I'm just looking for a place to release some worry so I can be a good dad and husband and not live my life in a constant bubble of worry and stress.

Cheers.

*I realize some might be really put off by my complaints and crying. There are guys in their 20's who are almost completely bald. I get that they'd probably trade their lot in life for mine.
It doesn't make it any less upsetting that I'm thinning and will at some point probably be very noticeably thin on top.