Don't Have Children

[geminidb8]

I have heard all of this before 25 years ago. BS then BS now. Keep telling yourself whatever makes you feel best. I will continue with corrective surgery and await for a cure. Until then there is nothing anyone can say that will ever change my mind or millions of others. Just go into a hair replacement facility and tell the millions of others how you feel. Some will agree and others won't. Every person in the world is different and handles things differently. I do pity myself and you for going bald because it is again Disfiguring, ugly and not wanted. End of story.

[Fixed by 35]

Absolutely. Accepting baldness means accepting disfigurement. If you're not bothered about going bald, you might as well poke your eye out, cut a massive scar across your cheek and start getting all your clothes from charity shops too.

If on the other hand you think you look okay with a shaved head, you haven't accepted your baldness anymore than me. You live in a delusional world where you think you look okay. Some bald men, I'll bet, are even stupid enough to look in the mirror and like their appearance. It's men like that who stereotype bald men as buffoons. Don't forget, all bald role models are either meat heads (Vin Diesel) or buffoons (Vin Diesel).

Acceptance of baldness involves:

1) Accepting you are outwardly ugly and unattractive to society. Fortunately our society is not too shallow, but people will only tell you your good looking if they're good liars with a kind heart.

2) You will need to strengthen your personality against the odds because you need to compensate for a lack of hair. The amount of compensation required is huge.

3) Unlike your peers, you'll actually have to be good at your job to get on in your career. If you are a promotion candidate against someone with similar qualifications and hair, you will never win.

4) You need to be significantly better qualified than your peers to be successful. Bald men can't blag their way to the top, because people start with a negative perception of them which needs to be changed with tangible results. Blagging is taken as just that; blagging. Men with hair can just toss it about and blag for England to get a promotion, because they created a positive first impression. One of the first things I noticed with hair loss was that my blagging didn't work any more!

5) You have to be much kinder to people than men with hair. Bald men create a first impression of being mean and unkind, a perception they have to break.

6) You are not allowed to make fun of anyone else, even in a light hearted way. You will always be reminded that you're bald and the fun making will quickly turn on you if you try to just be 'one of the lads.'

7) You mustn't aim too high. More men have hair for most of their lives and will always be chosen over you in careers and relationships. Get used to rejection, apparently it's character building. Personally, I plan to work for myself and deliberately discriminate against men with hair.

8) You need to prepare yourself for a time when a cure for baldness is found, but it will be too late for you (early baldness cures will probably involve stopping further hair loss, then topping up with transplants. If you're already a Norwood VII, it'll be tough luck).

9) You need to develop a tough attitude to people who try to put you down. Statements like 'at least I've lost it on top of my head instead of inside it' normally shuts people up when they're being stupid.

10) You have to accept that you have no political rights. You can't claim discrimination because of your baldness, incidentally. This is in no small part to bald men being severely unrepresented in most Western democracies - even less so than women.

[StayStrongMen]

If on the other hand you think you look okay with a shaved head, you haven't accepted your baldness anymore than me. You live in a delusional world where you think you look okay. Some bald men, I'll bet, are even stupid enough to look in the mirror and like their appearance. It's men like that who stereotype bald men as buffoons.

Your entire post has delusional written all over it

Don't forget, all bald role models are either meat heads (Vin Diesel) or buffoons (Vin Diesel).

I wouldn't consider my dad a meathead, and he's the most influential person in my life.

Accepting you are outwardly ugly and unattractive to society. Fortunately our society is not too shallow, but people will only tell you your good looking if they're good liars with a kind heart.

With this logic, I guess my girlfriend doesn't find me attractive at all. She's been lying to my face for 4 months! That bitch!

Unlike your peers, you'll actually have to be good at your job to get on in your career. If you are a promotion candidate against someone with similar qualifications and hair, you will never win.

LOLOLOLOLOL.

Have you ever considered that even if you had hair, your life may be just as miserable? That you attribute every single bad experience in your life due to losing your hair where someone who was this pessemistic about life with great hair would be just as worse off?

You need some serious psychological help man.

[hdude46]

You need some serious psychological help man.

Well said, although he will tell you you are lying to yourself if you dont feel the same way he does about being bald, which means every other aspect of your life can and should be miserable and anyone who isn't is 'delusional'. Apparently all people who experience hairloss, which outside of a lucky minority is most of the male population at some point, are societal bottom dwellers who can never be happy. Honestly, I wouldn't even dignify this idiot with a response, I know I'm done doing that.

[Fixed by 35]

I wouldn't consider my dad a meathead, and he's the most influential person in my life.

Yes, but you know him. Unfortunately, no matter how great a person he is, he still either looks like a buffoon or a meat head. Just like most of my family. Besides, he's a role model who happens to be bald. By role model, I meant those creepy men who seem to actually enjoy being a slap head, like Vin Diesel and Captain Luc Picard!

With this logic, I guess my girlfriend doesn't find me attractive at all. She's been lying to my face for 4 months! That bitch!

Again, personality over appearance. She loves you, not what you look like. She'd still prefer you with hair, it's just she'd prefer you without hair to any other man on the planet. Hey, love's a complicated thing. But your baldness is still disfiguring.

Have you ever considered that even if you had hair, your life may be just as miserable? That you attribute every single bad experience in your life due to losing your hair where someone who was this pessemistic about life with great hair would be just as worse off?

I have audited hundreds of companies. The directors with hair are sometimes incompetent. The bald ones never are, they had to be good to get where they are. The ones with hair could blag it. All the good bosses I have ever had were bald or balding actually - if I ever recruited someone, they'd be bald. I think a bit of reverse discrimination is justified.

Life has always been crap; dealing with one uncontrollable problem to the next. It's hard living in a society which is image obsessed and where no one takes responsibility for anything, especially when you're bald and irritable like me!

[geminidb8]

Fixedby35- What you are saying is the truth that these other posters know in their minds but must use a psychological defense because they have no other choice. Keep in mind that these people are on a bald site. If they were not bothered at all they would not visit this site. People with great heads of hair most likely do not even know these forums exist. Remember too that baldness causes depression -full heads of hair do not. Jobs as you state are given to the guy with hair over the bald guy- even when the bald guy is the smarter of the two. We will never have a bald president because the bald guy is considered weaker & not what we want to represent our country. (remember samson lost all his strength to baldness-so there must be some truth to all of this) Etc, Etc. These other posters are only right that we must go on. They refuse to address the problem and state they accept it- Yea -Right. When and if there is a cure I would like to own stock in the company that finds it. This proves that it is a problem because money is spent on it to find a cure and the lucky guy who does is going to have lots of $$$$$$$$$$. Let it be me. I will state I am not a bald man. I have some hair because of the corrective surgery but still sort of look balding mostly in the crown. For now research transplants and just try your best. I too want something better but not much else I can say about this subject. I agree with you and just hope that for your sake that when you are my age it will bother you less. But my own father was 57 and it bothered him so much that at that age he started to wear hair. I give him credit for at least trying. He was a very successful business person whos name was in who's who. He was very wealthy so some of these posters should note that this bothers all walks of life. Even when one is fully successful in their career. It again needs a cure. What more can I say.

[KeepTheHair]

geez this is ****ing depressing people

[StayStrongMen]

Balding sucks. No one is going to disagree with you there. Everyone wishes they could have a full head of hair for the rest of their lives.

The reality is, like hdude said, that most men suffer from some kind of balding in their lifetime. The younger we are, the more we are physiologically affected.

If we had more hair, would the average person say that we look more attractive? Yes (although there are women who love bald heads)

But, having a bald head doesn't mean your offically ugly, your life is ruined, and not having kids & becoming a recluse is the best option.

If the average person had your attitude about bald men (bottom feeders, ugly and disfigured) then we would all be ****ed.

Attractive people have it easier, but bald doesn't always equal unattractive.
you can be bald and present an attractive image. None of you knuckleheads will ever believe me, but there's people in this forum that are living proof. They would be more attractive if they had a full head of hair, but attractive enough for females and friends to be impressed.

If you hate going to the gym, that's fine. But you make it seem that you are forced to go the gym now that you're balding. Working out promotes a healthy lifestyle. Society doesn't find obesity attractive either, but similar to baldness....one can still be attractive and overweight.

Bottom line is that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". You think bald people are disgusting. You're balding, so you hate yourself, and it is consuming everything that was once good about your life and making it miserable. It's a fact that men don't like being bald, and it's a fact that GENERALLY people don't find it attractive. IS IT ALWAYS A DEALBREAKER??? NO. I can subsitute the word "bald" in the previous sentence with big nose, too tall, too short, bad teeth, big ears, small ears, small head, big head, big lips, small lips, squinty eyes, large eyes, freckles, pale, etc. You are singling out one quality of a man (lack of hair), that to many isn't the final factor in why you get/not get the girl, or why you get/not get the job.

I believe being bald is only a minor setback. Not everyone is going to agree with me, which is fine. There's a huge difference between accepting that your bald and accepting that you're an ugly bottom feeder with no reason to re-create.

You sit down with my girl and ask her why she likes me, she will give you physical reasons: my eyes, my smile, my body etc. There's other physical features besides hair. Maybe she would find me more attractive if I have hair, but she already finds me very attractive.

[geminidb8]

I agree that working out is a great idea. I go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. I used to love it more when I was younger but still go because I feel better physically. I also think people can like a person for ones personality. The problem herein lies with the person themself. One must go on but I can remember the feeling when I had a full head of hair. I used to see bald guys- even my dad at age 6 and say I never want that. I still have that feeling now. I am sorry but I always considered it a disfigurement. I still do. Some look worse than others. Every person handles things differently. It has been over 26 years of an obsession and obsessions do not go away. I knew before I went bald that I would never accept it. My own parents said when I had hair that they did not think I could handle it. For Me cancer was much easier. So noone can say he has never had a bigger problem. People must do what is right for them. Now that I never had a child I do not know what it is like and cannot miss something I never had. But I cannot in good conscience put a child on earth because of the devastating effects of balding. Good for those who want this- not for me. They all said 26 years ago I would get over it but I knew in my heart that I would not. Be true to yourself and you will feel better in your heart. I made the right decision for me and if others disagree so be it. Do what is right for yourself and you will not go wrong but do not force others into a one way mindset- It just won't work.

[Fixed by 35]

Ok, maybe you're right. I don't want to argue about this anyway and I don't want people to think I'm a bald man hating bald man! Personally, I don't really judge people on their appearances, with the exception of myself of course. I do think baldness is a curse on every wearer and I do think it's disfiguring, but I try to look past that. The trouble is I'm acutely aware that I didn't when I was not bald and I'm fairly certain most people with hair look down on those who do not. It's not like other minor ailments; ridicule is more likely than respect even for those who just get on with it.

Certainly, I've tried to accept it and compensate for it. I'm even discriminatory towards men with hair to redress the balance (for example, I always vote for the baldest candidate in elections, unless they're a neo-Nazi of course!). All to no avail; it just doesn't work.

I've tried to get on with my life for too long without enjoying it. I know some balding men mope about, give up on a social life and let it affect their careers. I tried to avoid that, at least at first. I've got a strong track record in my career and initially my social life remained quite strong (social life takes a turn not so much for the worse but the quieter later anyway, when you want to settle down!) but I think the nagging doubt is how little solace I get from success. I think I already mentioned I recently passed some high level postgrad level professional exams recently and I remember at the time being surprised how little I cared. Then I realised how little I cared about everything and anything these days.

The fact is I'll never be happy until I can be me again, inside and out. To accept baldness is to go against my personality; I wasn't a 'that'll have to do' sort of person before, and baldness nearly turned me into one (if you change your attitude to accept imperfection, it affects every facet of your life from appearance to the quality of your work). I've been through a period of half arsed work, lack of interest in fashion and a sloppy approach to my living conditions. I mean, I don't live in my own filth, wear charity shop clothes or play games at work but still, I have been taking a 'that'll do attitude.'

So I recently realised that the only way to go back to who I was was to fight everything I hate. Getting my life back on track is impossible by just shaving my head (an image I dislike even more than a mullet) and doing everything else right, because I will yet again fall back into the 'that'll do' trap which permeates every aspect of life. If I want to get back my old self, I have to fight hair loss to the death. The person I was would not think 'I'll have a son one day, he might be bald but that'll do.' It's not alright, the person I was and should be is the one that says I'll pour money into fighting this thing, I'll be open with people about how much I hate my appearance and I'll win in the end. Even if I die bald, I'll take my family's baldness curse to the grave. I WILL WIN IN THE END.