Don't Have Children

[geminidb8]

Fixedby35- What you are saying is the truth that these other posters know in their minds but must use a psychological defense because they have no other choice. Keep in mind that these people are on a bald site. If they were not bothered at all they would not visit this site. People with great heads of hair most likely do not even know these forums exist. Remember too that baldness causes depression -full heads of hair do not. Jobs as you state are given to the guy with hair over the bald guy- even when the bald guy is the smarter of the two. We will never have a bald president because the bald guy is considered weaker & not what we want to represent our country. (remember samson lost all his strength to baldness-so there must be some truth to all of this) Etc, Etc. These other posters are only right that we must go on. They refuse to address the problem and state they accept it- Yea -Right. When and if there is a cure I would like to own stock in the company that finds it. This proves that it is a problem because money is spent on it to find a cure and the lucky guy who does is going to have lots of $$$$$$$$$$. Let it be me. I will state I am not a bald man. I have some hair because of the corrective surgery but still sort of look balding mostly in the crown. For now research transplants and just try your best. I too want something better but not much else I can say about this subject. I agree with you and just hope that for your sake that when you are my age it will bother you less. But my own father was 57 and it bothered him so much that at that age he started to wear hair. I give him credit for at least trying. He was a very successful business person whos name was in who's who. He was very wealthy so some of these posters should note that this bothers all walks of life. Even when one is fully successful in their career. It again needs a cure. What more can I say.

[KeepTheHair]

geez this is ****ing depressing people

[StayStrongMen]

Balding sucks. No one is going to disagree with you there. Everyone wishes they could have a full head of hair for the rest of their lives.

The reality is, like hdude said, that most men suffer from some kind of balding in their lifetime. The younger we are, the more we are physiologically affected.

If we had more hair, would the average person say that we look more attractive? Yes (although there are women who love bald heads)

But, having a bald head doesn't mean your offically ugly, your life is ruined, and not having kids & becoming a recluse is the best option.

If the average person had your attitude about bald men (bottom feeders, ugly and disfigured) then we would all be ****ed.

Attractive people have it easier, but bald doesn't always equal unattractive.
you can be bald and present an attractive image. None of you knuckleheads will ever believe me, but there's people in this forum that are living proof. They would be more attractive if they had a full head of hair, but attractive enough for females and friends to be impressed.

If you hate going to the gym, that's fine. But you make it seem that you are forced to go the gym now that you're balding. Working out promotes a healthy lifestyle. Society doesn't find obesity attractive either, but similar to baldness....one can still be attractive and overweight.

Bottom line is that "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder". You think bald people are disgusting. You're balding, so you hate yourself, and it is consuming everything that was once good about your life and making it miserable. It's a fact that men don't like being bald, and it's a fact that GENERALLY people don't find it attractive. IS IT ALWAYS A DEALBREAKER??? NO. I can subsitute the word "bald" in the previous sentence with big nose, too tall, too short, bad teeth, big ears, small ears, small head, big head, big lips, small lips, squinty eyes, large eyes, freckles, pale, etc. You are singling out one quality of a man (lack of hair), that to many isn't the final factor in why you get/not get the girl, or why you get/not get the job.

I believe being bald is only a minor setback. Not everyone is going to agree with me, which is fine. There's a huge difference between accepting that your bald and accepting that you're an ugly bottom feeder with no reason to re-create.

You sit down with my girl and ask her why she likes me, she will give you physical reasons: my eyes, my smile, my body etc. There's other physical features besides hair. Maybe she would find me more attractive if I have hair, but she already finds me very attractive.

[geminidb8]

I agree that working out is a great idea. I go to the gym 3 to 4 times a week. I used to love it more when I was younger but still go because I feel better physically. I also think people can like a person for ones personality. The problem herein lies with the person themself. One must go on but I can remember the feeling when I had a full head of hair. I used to see bald guys- even my dad at age 6 and say I never want that. I still have that feeling now. I am sorry but I always considered it a disfigurement. I still do. Some look worse than others. Every person handles things differently. It has been over 26 years of an obsession and obsessions do not go away. I knew before I went bald that I would never accept it. My own parents said when I had hair that they did not think I could handle it. For Me cancer was much easier. So noone can say he has never had a bigger problem. People must do what is right for them. Now that I never had a child I do not know what it is like and cannot miss something I never had. But I cannot in good conscience put a child on earth because of the devastating effects of balding. Good for those who want this- not for me. They all said 26 years ago I would get over it but I knew in my heart that I would not. Be true to yourself and you will feel better in your heart. I made the right decision for me and if others disagree so be it. Do what is right for yourself and you will not go wrong but do not force others into a one way mindset- It just won't work.

[Fixed by 35]

Ok, maybe you're right. I don't want to argue about this anyway and I don't want people to think I'm a bald man hating bald man! Personally, I don't really judge people on their appearances, with the exception of myself of course. I do think baldness is a curse on every wearer and I do think it's disfiguring, but I try to look past that. The trouble is I'm acutely aware that I didn't when I was not bald and I'm fairly certain most people with hair look down on those who do not. It's not like other minor ailments; ridicule is more likely than respect even for those who just get on with it.

Certainly, I've tried to accept it and compensate for it. I'm even discriminatory towards men with hair to redress the balance (for example, I always vote for the baldest candidate in elections, unless they're a neo-Nazi of course!). All to no avail; it just doesn't work.

I've tried to get on with my life for too long without enjoying it. I know some balding men mope about, give up on a social life and let it affect their careers. I tried to avoid that, at least at first. I've got a strong track record in my career and initially my social life remained quite strong (social life takes a turn not so much for the worse but the quieter later anyway, when you want to settle down!) but I think the nagging doubt is how little solace I get from success. I think I already mentioned I recently passed some high level postgrad level professional exams recently and I remember at the time being surprised how little I cared. Then I realised how little I cared about everything and anything these days.

The fact is I'll never be happy until I can be me again, inside and out. To accept baldness is to go against my personality; I wasn't a 'that'll have to do' sort of person before, and baldness nearly turned me into one (if you change your attitude to accept imperfection, it affects every facet of your life from appearance to the quality of your work). I've been through a period of half arsed work, lack of interest in fashion and a sloppy approach to my living conditions. I mean, I don't live in my own filth, wear charity shop clothes or play games at work but still, I have been taking a 'that'll do attitude.'

So I recently realised that the only way to go back to who I was was to fight everything I hate. Getting my life back on track is impossible by just shaving my head (an image I dislike even more than a mullet) and doing everything else right, because I will yet again fall back into the 'that'll do' trap which permeates every aspect of life. If I want to get back my old self, I have to fight hair loss to the death. The person I was would not think 'I'll have a son one day, he might be bald but that'll do.' It's not alright, the person I was and should be is the one that says I'll pour money into fighting this thing, I'll be open with people about how much I hate my appearance and I'll win in the end. Even if I die bald, I'll take my family's baldness curse to the grave. I WILL WIN IN THE END.

[geminidb8]

The sad truth is that there are only so many options. I have been doing this since 1984. Every option is not what we truly want. I want a full head of hair but had to settle for the transplant route. They can help a great deal. For me though I do not know other repair victims such as myself. I have no one to compare myself to- well there are a couple on the forums on various sites and so far only so-so as far as results go. I do know I have been greatly improved but still will undergo more surgery because I look like I still need more hair. I too will fight this thing till the end. I am not sure though I can ever get what I truly want but will give it my all. I could never accept this. It is natural and so is body odor. I want neither. It is sad though that it has consumed 26 years but even if it were 1984 again and I had this, I would have felt the same and tried everything. It is not my fault that there were so many corrupt doctors in this field. There are still many today too. My only other option was the hairpiece and it sometime looked good. But it is too time consuming, does not feel natural and I was always paranoid about it. Also was the fact that I was always losing hair around the edge and it looked bad after 2-3 weeks. Not a good solution as far as I was concerned. I have been to alopecia support meetings and came out very depressed. I met a guy who was 14 and was totally devastated. His mom said he never wanted to go out or do anything. I met a girl who said she was not going to have children because she was bald. There are many others who realize the impact of this issue and have extensive knowledge in dealing with it. Everyday now that I am older I say no kids as I said 25 years ago. It is sad but right is right and wrong is wrong. Even my mom agreed before she died and she was 74- so many years of living & experience. A sad issue indeed that I hope one day gets the cure it needs.

[willyoldfox]

dont worry... even if theres a chance of yur kids gettin bald, i am pretty sure by the time they do, there would be hair cloning

[geminidb8]

Thats what I thought when I was young. Never happened and I do not see it anytime soon. I wish we all knew when that day will come.

[Fixed by 35]

I do believe something is coming soon. I pulled the cliche five years out of a hat, to be honest I think it will be sooner than that. That said, my father always promised a cure would be available before I started to lose my hair!

However, I should say I expect baldness cures to be expensive because I expect the cure to be hair multiplication. Not the sort of thing a teenager can afford. If I had boys, then sure they might cure their problem by 30, but they'll spend their 20s bald because they can't afford to do anything about it.

I think what a lot of men forget is that even if a cure does come out, for those of us who lost our hair young, we still had our youth stolen from us. People have assumed I'm middle aged for 7 years now and I get treated accordingly. No cure will ever bring back the stolen years and my children will still be bald before they're cured; they'll still miss the best years of their lives to this disfigurment.

[geminidb8]

Even if there is a cure to come out it will not entirely help me. I have scarring and hair does not grow through scars. Unless they come out with some other type of miracle and I really wont hold my breath for that. In 1990 they were working on growing hair in a lab and promised a cure in 5 years so this is nothing new. For decades now the only thing they have come out with is minoxidil and propecia. Propecia is ok and minoxidil is not so great as far as I am concerned. Besides I know more money is going into research for cancer, HIV & Heart disease than baldness. To us it is our life but to others it is cosmetic. I work with a jerk who for 12 years still thinks that people have to get over this and this is the attitude of many because they have never had to live with it. Most likely they will stumble onto a cure by accident just like the above mentioned treatments. It has ruined many lives and I hope I am wrong but if I were a betting man I would not put much money on a cure anytime soon. This has been stated for years and so has the research from different corporations. Histogen, folica- etc. Every person in the world will hear about it when and if it happens. People will come out of the woodwork and cheer when that day arrives.

[Fixed by 35]

It's always people with hair who think you just have to get over it isn't it? Normally it's because they want you to stop thinking about yourself and start worrying about them again be it relationships or work. It's just an incredibly selfish and ignorant attitude.

I've just been reading a few of those trashy articles that are generally written either by people with lots of hair or by bald men who suffer from a form of narcissism. As per usual, the article begins with suggestions as to what can be done to reverse hair loss (an article I want to read) but invariably they end up babbling on about how acceptance is the only cure. This infuriates me. Why do these spammers clog up the internet with this stupid, useless advice that makes it ten times harder to find the articles I actually want to read? Why don't they crawl back underneath their acceptance rock and stay out of my way so that I can more easily find articles that are actually worth reading? It's hard enough dealing with the snake oil merchants without having to contend with the pop psychologists as well.

If I was ever going to accept baldness, it would have happened by now. I've been going bald for seven years. It feels worse now than when I first experienced hair loss. It feels worse than yesterday and tomorrow will be worse than today. Every day is another day lost to baldness, it is like being sentenced to a life of mediocrity and disfigurement. I have had to abandon ambition in my career and I've been treated like a forty year old since I turned twenty. Perhaps what these pop psychologists who champion acceptance don't understand is what it would be like to have a life better than mediocrity. Most bald people I know who accept their condition never had a very exciting life in the first place; they were destined for mediocrity anyway, so baldness never got in their way.

It's not even possible to 'just accept' baldness in their world anyway. You can't just wake up and accept baldness, nor can you just spend the time it takes psychologically accepting baldness. To 'just accept' baldness also involves becoming the butt of low brow jokes and paying homage daily to an image you hate by shaving your head - you become a slave to a look you detest. When my girlfriend asked why I didn't just shave my head, I asked her how she'd feel giving herself a bowl cut every single morning for the rest of her life. I did actually cut my hair very short once and got one neutral comment for it - I may have got more but made it clear I hated the look and didn't want to discuss it! The only real acceptance is the person who still only has their hair cut once a month and just leaves it at that. The spammers who say accept it really mean become a servant to your scalp and shave it so that you can look like the relevant stereotype.

Talking of stereotypes, the best look a respectable person can hope for with a shaved head is the mad scientist look (Heston Blumenthal). My girlfriends colleague, who is very skinny and pale, looks like a chemotherapy patient. Vin Diesel looks like he's got more going on in his arms than in his head and sports the 'sad old bodybuilder' look. People with tattoos on their arms and are quite well built look like neo-Nazis; short men who are a bit chubby look like losers who live with their parents; average looking men look like world weary parents and in my case, very tall and a bit overweight, I'd look like a bouncer. Oh yippee, what a look. I've always wanted to look like a brain dead retard. Then there's the men who compensate with a goatee. Well, if you do want to have the clown look....

I want to send a clear message to these spammers. Your posts on the internet are not helpful. They are the musings of a third party who do not really understand. We are not inferior beings and do not exist solely to fill a gap in your world. You may think a shaved head looks okay, that's your look out. You'd probably not be so keen if it was your head that was going to be cue balled for life. If you are bald, your a narcissistic fool. Get a grip on reality. Leave the internet to serious science and hair loss research and stop feeding us with this demoralising pop psychology.

[StayStrongMen]

I want to send a clear message to these spammers. Your posts on the internet are not helpful. They are the musings of a third party who do not really understand. We are not inferior beings and do not exist solely to fill a gap in your world. You may think a shaved head looks okay, that's your look out. You'd probably not be so keen if it was your head that was going to be cue balled for life. If you are bald, your a narcissistic fool. Get a grip on reality. Leave the internet to serious science and hair loss research and stop feeding us with this demoralising pop psychology.

You should take your own advice.

[geminidb8]

I agree that we need more research, funding and a cure for this not acceptance. For me it will never happen and think that the only advice I can give is to do what a therapist once told me- Make this your living. That is surround yourself with others that have the same feelings and life may go a bit faster. It is not a fix by any means though. As of now there is only the transplant route to help with that. It has helped somewhat but I am still very bitter deep down as to what happened to me. On one site when the posters saw my before pics one stated " Who was his doctor? Frankenstein?" Gee life is so great. But I have been very much improved and am hoping for a bit more. I wonder though how many transplant patients always want more? Is it ever a complete look? Not on the higher norwood scales. As a repair patient though when I look at some others I am not so bad. But I still have a stigma in my mind that simply states this can be a bit better. My worry though is when I am out of donor - will I still feel this way. That is why it is important to try to tell myself be real about the results. Expect some improvement ( I really am improved a lot since the beginning) but perhaps not totally what I really want. I read an article on the internet that was written by a doctor that stated no person is totally happy even with the best results. I believe this because no doctor can ever duplicate the original density you once had. Hair transplants can be a very good (as of now the only) option but do not expect to ever compete with a natural good head of hair. There is no guarantee. If any doctor is willing to give a money back guarantee then people would have a happier state of mind. No such thing exists. There will most likely be a good improvement but with limitations. That is why they state realistic expectations. I say have low expectations when this is said and you will not have that dream shattered as to what you truly want.

[Fixed by 35]

As long as I don't have to spend the majority of my life as a skin head, I'll be happy. I don't want my teenage hair line, just a mature hair line with reasonable density would suit me fine. As a potential Norwood VI though, I just don't think I'll have quite enough donor hair to make it a reality.

I'll never come to terms with hair loss, because I never really expect to 'get going' again. I have no motivation to do anything. I can't be bothered to diet or exercise, because I'll still look crap at the end of it anyway and I have no interest in my health. I have little interest in my career, because perception always succeeds over quality and baldness creates a bad first impression. I find my social life tedious at best, my poor image always leaves me out in the cold anyway.

There are bald men who just get on with it. I see them chuckling away as their mates slap their heads and call them baldy. If that low brow humour is their sort of thing, let them get on with it, but it's not the life for me.

So, back to topic. No children, no way, not ever. I don't want to create children who suffer through a miserable life; my parents don't deserve grand children because they must be punished for creating me. People need to know, one way or another, baldness is a curse. It's pure evil to pass it on.

[hdude46]

i think u have made your point over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. we get it, you dont want to work out b/c u are ugly anyway, u dont want kids, you cant have a good job, your gf and friends couldnt ever love u, your life sucks ect. anyone who says othersie is full of it. dont get over it. i suggest to wallow in your own self pity. your life is meaningless. bald people arent humans, they are neo nazi slap heads. your life is doomed and not even worth living imo.

You're on here all day telling the world how terrible life is, which at the end of the day, isnt going to change a thing for you my friend...