Don't Have Children

[Fixed by 35]

The thought of having children has bothered me for quite some time. Some people may think me extreme; indeed, I'm happy to admit I have a greater aversion to my baldness than most. However, I hate the idea of re-introducing my baldness gene into future generations.

As far as I'm concerned, having children might make me happy when they're young. However, the reality is that if I have a son I will have created a life that will be miserable from about the age of 19 until they die. If I have a daughter, I will have simply delayed the misery until I have a grandson.

I will not be bringing a happy being into the world. I'll be bringing in a life for my own enjoyment as a parent until they hit 19 where a life of misery awaits. Who would want to do that? I wish my parents had had this conversation before they had me.

Just think. Bring a son into the world. In 19 years time, he'll be staring in a mirror with nothing but a life of ridicule, discrimination and prejudice to look forward to.

The only cure against the curse of baldness is to refuse to pass it on.

[morelocks]

WTF???

This is got to be the most ridicolous post i have ever read!!

Not everyone takes to baldness the way some of us forum readers do. Many people dnt care and lead happy lifes being bald

Put all that to one side, do you not think there will be a proper cure in 19 years. Most of us are expecting something in the next 5-10 years otherwise anyone who has had a procedure under the age of 30 like me is pretty much ****ed in the future

seriously mate, were you drunk when writing this post?

[Fixed by 35]

No, I've held this view for the seven years that I have been losing hair. Baldness is unattractive and thank god it is because it prevents me from passing on my crappy genes to another generation.

[morelocks]

oh god!! how old are you mate?

also a lot of people think the mothers genes have a lot to do with deciding if your going to bald or not

so dnt you think they will have found a solution in the next 10 years?

Are you considering a hair transplant?

[TennisPlayer]

Sounds like a troll to me.

[mlao]

Calling someone a troll is not helpful or kind perhaps some empathy or positives support might be better.

[TennisPlayer]

I don't believe that this is a genuine person, that's what I meant.

[hair leaving]

Are you serious, first of all my dad has a full head of hair and is 68. I on the otherhand do not. I believe it has more to do with your moms side of the family so unless the young lady has a history of baldness on her side you should be okay. But honestly to say your bald and all your kids will be is a little dramatic.

[geminidb8]

Do not have children

I agree with the first poster. My life changed drastically at 19 for the worse and now at 45 the scars of baldness remain. I would never ever put a child on earth and have to face life as a bald man who is discriminated against, poked fun at and miserable. NO person is happy being bald and do not believe that it is no big deal. I have never felt the same since 1984 and most likely never will. I think every person who is bald is sick psychologically to some degree. Some worse than others. Baldness needs a cure not a pat on the back that it is no big deal. It is!

[Fixed by 35]

I really wish I was a troll but unfortunately I'm actually a 27 year old drugged up to the eyeballs on dutasteride and revivogen after 7 years of trying to keep my hair with limited success. I've also recently realised I must have been the unlucky one to get the crap gene; neither of my brothers are remotely bald yet.

Neither of my grandfathers lost any hair until they were in their 50s. No doubts where my hair loss comes from though; my grandma on my father's side. My mother's grandma comes from a family with no history of hair loss whatsoever for generations. Perhaps then the odds of me suffering androgenetic alopecia were small but the bastard gene still got through. There's also little difference between whether it comes from the father or the mother.

My father started losing hair at about the same age as me, as did his brother. The only hope I hold is that some thirty years later, he's probably only a Norwood V (with less lost on the crown than is typical) which at least means a transplant should be successful and long lasting. Then again, his brother is a definite VI going on VII. I get the impression that my father hates it; he has never shaved his head.

I think that for me to have children would be to allow the bastard gene to continue. I have the opportunity to kill it and if I can do nothing else to stop this horrible gene, I can at least make sure no one else has to deal with it. I am in a war with this gene and if I can't beat it, I'll sure as hell make sure it can't beat me either. It's a fight to the death and as long as I don't pass it on I'll win in the end, no matter how small the victory and no matter the cost.

I think it would be incredibly selfish of me to have a child. For all the pretence, baldness is disfiguring, ugly and leads to prejudice and discrimination. Quite why anyone would want to be responsible for creating a living being, when they already know before it is even conceived that it will have a second rate life, are highly likely to be depressed and will almost certainly suffer is beyond me. I find it morally reprehensible.

The statistics back me up. Anyone who tries to claim bald men can lead are happy life are lying. Bald men typically earn less, are more likely to be single and recent studies show 26% of balding men find it severely distressing and a further 60% find it moderately distressing. I believe the other 14% are just too embarrassed to admit the misery it is causing. Bald men will all experience mockery for their condition and will be excluded from careers in entertainment, politics and, to a lesser extent, business management.

I know from personal experience that the day I stopped getting taken seriously was when my hair loss started to show. I found hair loss quite easy to deal with at first; I've never really cared about my appearance and have no interest in fashion. It only really started to bother me when I realised I was being treated differently and being overlooked. We can kid ourselves that it isn't like that, but deep down we all know the truth.

[geminidb8]

I agree but you will find posters on this site that will tell you there are worse things. Yes but not psychologically. I am a survivor of testicular cancer and guess what-Baldness has affected me much more than the cancer. You die on the inside with baldness and do not recover. People will lie and say it does not matter-B.S. I used to see a shrink and he said baldness is no big deal but he had to appear in court for a juvenile one day and told me that he had to go home to dress up and use gel on his hair to make himself more credible to the jury. What a hypocrite. My hair did not matter but in court his did to be more creditable to the jury. If it were no big deal the hair industry would not be a multi-billion dollar industry. All of the treatments available are no real cure. They all have their disadvantages and none are guaranteed to give you a full head of hair. Some can help but you never get back what you once had. Only in rare cases will you have a "Miracle" So to speak. If there were a real cure people like Elton John and John Travolta would have it. They use wigs- Others use medications and others transplants. They all have disadvantages and there really is no real cure at this time. Until there is this will always be a struggle of the mind. Be happy you were never disfigured by a doctor as I was. I now can go out in public because I have had many, many corrective surgeries but still do not have what I truly want. I still look like I need more hair. This is the reality of baldness and I agree with you whole-heartedly. My scars will always remain as my entire youth was lost. Now I am getting gray hair as well. Gee life was so great. I now at 45 am glad I never had a child. My parents are dead now and they were so hurt by what this "baldness disease" did to my spirit. They always said you were never the same since 1984 (age 19) They were right. My mom even said I will always love you but seeing you like this I should not have had you. She was right and I miss her everyday but even if she could come back to life there would be nothing she could do. She saw me struggle with this for 18 years and I feel she died of a broken heart because of me. When a parent sees their child as unhappy as I was it does break their heart. You are right no kids is best for people like us.

[SpencerKobren]

Important Discussion for Tonight’s Broadcast!

Hey Guys,

This thread probably hits home with the vast majority of hair loss sufferers. Many years ago, when I began writing about my hair loss, I referred to my condition as a “disease of the spirit.”...I’ve also referred to it as a “cancer of the spirit.” The emotional toll it can take is profound, which is why it’s so easy for the hair loss industry to take take advantage of vulnerable men and women suffering with AGA and other hair loss conditions.

I think this thread brings up some important issues so I’ll be discussing it on my show tonight. Feel free to call into to share your stories and opinions.

You can now watch The Bald Truth Live through the forum:

http://www.baldtruthtalk.com/showthread.php?t=1076

The player is in the first post of the thread.

Or you can watch via The Bald Truth website at 8pm EST, 5pm PST:

http://www.thebaldtruth.com/watch-live/

I'd love to hear from you guys!

[geminidb8]

Dear Spencer: I am sorry I missed the show. I had other pre engagements. Is there a way I can hear the show through this site? I hope to call in at some point. I am always doing something on the weekends but will definitely call in the next time on this topic. Thanks--geminidb.

[Fixed by 35]

It's not an easy decision to make, but it's certainly a good one. I can live with the smug satisfaction that whilst I may be a casualty of the war with my family's baldness gene, I will nonetheless also be victorious. It may win the battle of my scalp, but it'll be the last battle it ever fights because I'm stopping it dead in its tracks.

I think my mother is probably a bit diappointed that despite having four children of her own, she'll never have any grandchildren unless a cure for baldness is found (my older brother hates kids, my younger brother agrees with me and my sister can't have children). However, she will have to learn to live with that; it's better than living with baldness, as I have told her a few times! I think she's rather keen for a cure to be found now, hair loss is no longer something to just 'get over' in her book. Funny how people change about the subject when baldness affects their own interests, don't you think?

I don't think she really agrees with my methods though. I think a lot of people probably find me extreme. But most of them aren't bald and if they are they're putting their own happiness before their children's so they should be ashamed of themselves. I see my baldness as a disease in the same way as others view sickle cell anemia, phenylketonuria or HIV. It's unfair to have children because you know they'll suffer like you (probably more so, the world gets more image obsessed everyday - actually, I wouldn't be surprised if wigs became mandatory in my lifetime as the shaved head look is bound to go out of fashion sooner or later).

Of course, my attitude is that if everyone took my approach, we'd eradicate a lot of genetic disorders very quickly. Couples should stop being selfish and think long and hard about the sort of life their potential child is going to live. I have done and think the life my children will have will be awful.

Not only will they start balding very young and look 40 before they're 21, and suffer ageism before they're old, not only will they spend a life on pills and potions but they're also likely to develop type II diabetes by the age of 30 and are genetically pre-disposed to get brain cancer by 60. Hardly a recipe for a good life. Quite why my parents thought their genes were worth passing on is beyond me - I wonder whether they just forgot children grow up.

[geminidb8]

I agree again. Don't forget the constant depression that will accompany baldness. One will not feel right in public and avoid many, many occasions & situations. I used to just retreat to my bedroom and sleep for long periods of time in my early 20's. Dates were almost non-existent. I actually feel that I have existed and not lived. I am somewhat better now than in my 20's but not totally better. My own father hated his baldness- Norwood 7 + and started wearing a wig at 57 years of age until he died at 82. He was not young and it bothered him so people were not understanding then and even for the most part are not now. My family has finally realized that it will bother me forever. They now state that what bothered people 30 years ago still bothers them today. Psychologists even have agreed with me on this part. They tell me it is up to me on how to deal with it and not let it totally control me. I have been trying but will never feel as I once did prior to 1984. I will not keep writing on and on but there is a lot of sense to this thread- hopefully people will at least give it some serious thought.