Want to shoot myself in the head

[Borntoosoon]

I don't post much. I try to live my life and not think about all this. I've had roughly 1800 units, FUE (Norwood 3a) that only cost me about $15000 USD, three days of surgery (all day long each long day) and 9 months to grow in.

That was four years ago.

I'm fit, sharp, youthful, etc. but whenever I talk to women I ALWAYS catch them take a quick glance at my scalp, as if to say, 'Man, you're really interesting... Holy CRAP! HOW OLD ARE YOU?!?!?!? ARE YOU ABOUT TO RETIRE? WTF? You're an old man. Nice try, but move on.'

I'm confident as well. I have no difficulty striking up a conversation with anyone, especially attractive women.

But I'll look in the mirror and my deeper, honest self knows that the transplant makes me look like I'm balding because 50% or less of the follicles appear to have taken.


I was talking to a younger girl in the breakroom. The subject of age came up. When I asked how old she thought I looked she guess that I was actually five years older than what I am.


I played it off, but I'll be honest... later in the day I was so hurt and angry at... just life.

If I looked good with a shaved head I would do so but unfortunately it doesn't look good on me at all. The only way I can look 'normal' would be at least 10,000 units with the gamble on how many will take and a cost I can't afford at this point.

I just feel helpless against this thing we all fight.

To any other male who says 'oh, it's no big deal.' I say how about we cut off your testicles and see if you feel the same way.

To any woman who says, 'it's no big deal', why don't we cut off a breast and see if you feel the same way.


It's bad enough that we live in this world where your acceptance requires you to be diligent about your health in ways people weren't fifty years ago, but it's just absolutely rotten that genetic disposition puts so many of us at an incredible disadvantage in life.

This will brighten your day.

I had a friend as dumb as a doorknob: perfect hair, perfect skin (naturally tan too), symmetrical face, fit body (without lifting a single weight) and terribly boring. Think he EVER had to lift a finger to find companionship?


I'm feeling in the dumps. I'll get over it (that's what we do), but man... right now I'm really hating life.