womens' thoughts on hair loss regarding attraction

[mlally]

I want to see if other men share my experiences with women regarding hair loss.

I had thick curly hair in high school and college than noticed thinning around 24.

I thought I looked great and this helped my confidence tremendously. I wasn't ****y (ok ,maybe a little) and never had trouble meeting attractive women.

But, Ive noticed a very steady decline in my attraction abilities as Ive become older and lost alot of my hair. I've tried not to let it bother me but I would be dishonest with myself if I say It hasn't.

Here's why:

I'm constantly reminded of it by others, ecspecially women. They could be females who are either family, current girlfriends or complete strangers.

A sampling of the comments I've heard.

"You would be cute if you weren't balding".
"Oh, he's going bald, forget him".
"I don't date bald guys."
"You're old". ( A gorgeous woman I was dating for a couple months who was only 4 years younger than me)
A woman came on hard to me a month ago at a local pub (just to let you know I had my ever present baseball hat on). She than took my hat off , looked at me disapprovingly and than said to her girlfriends, and stated "Let's go". She wasnt even attractive!!

There are so many times Ive heard this lately I'm starting to feel as I'm a leper or an insignificant nobody. My balding head is saying this is stupid, shallow and ridiculous to feel this way, but my heart is hurtin anyway and these experiences have shattered my self confidence.

So I guess what I'm saying is , to say women don't care if you're balding is complete bs. ( I haven't anyone of them make positive comments)

I thinks all of us are concerned about this and this is truly why we obssess about hair loss.

Has anyone else experienced these type of situations with women,
(I would bet the bank on it)

Your stories, thoughts?

[Winston]

Many women both young and older think this way. Fortunately most women like this are not the more attractive ones in my experience. Sure you’ll come across the club hottie who will only date the Brad Pitt look alike, but most hot women are so consumed with their own looks that they actually prefer a guy to has a couple of “defects” to keep the attention on them.
The funny thing is that most of the young girls who are rejecting the balding guys now will end up with bald guys in the future or even start to bald themselves. Karma’s a real bitch.

[CIT_Girl]

I know this sounds like something you would say to a child being bullied but the people who say nasty things about your hair loss are probably very dissatisfied and insecure with themselves. I really believe this and become more convinced of this fact with age. People who are happy in their own skin would never even have the thoughts that some people have said aloud to you. Comments like that are really so cruel and I feel for you and hate that people are judging you for something you have no control over.

In terms of whether girls can be attracted to balding men, I believe that so much comes back to confidence. Reading your post, I immediately thought of two guys I know. Both started experiencing hair loss early on in their college years and would be classified as Norwood III or IV’s today. One of these guys is no taller than 5’6’’, skinny and, to be honest, would not be considered conventionally attractive in any sense. He is also constantly surrounded by gorgeous girls wherever he goes and has had two fantastic and beautiful serious girlfriends in the time I’ve known him. Women find him incredibly attractive because he’s witty, exuberant and the life of every party. The only word I’ve heard uttered of his hair loss came from his own self-deprecating humor.

The other guy I know has classic good looks and even modeled in high school. However, once he started losing his hair, he truly SUFFERED from his hair loss. He wore a cap constantly and, if we went somewhere he absolutely couldn’t wear one, he’d try and brush his hair forward to give the illusion he wasn’t balding (which frankly never works). He would plan his social life around places he could and couldn’t get away with wearing a baseball cap and lived in fear that he’d face rejection the second an interested girl saw him without his hat. He was so lonely and insecure and unfortunately, when he went out, that was the impression he gave off to women (a big turn-off). Every time he was burned in a relationship, or something didn’t go his way, he would blame it on his hair loss.

At 24, he even made an appointment with Dr. Cole in hopes that a hair transplant would be a magic fix. He was devastated when Dr. Cole told him that he couldn’t in good faith do anything for him since his hair loss was genetic and, at a young age, so advanced that as his hair loss progressed he would run out of donor hair. There’s somewhat of a happy story here, though, because this guy finally took the advice of his friends to ‘bic’ his head. I think this was extremely freeing for him, brought on a huge attitude change and although he, like anyone, still has moments of insecurity, I don’t think his hair loss is something that keeps him up at night any longer. Things came together for him when he learned to let go of his anger and anxiety over his hair loss and he’s now doing great career and relationship-wise.

I certainly don’t want to minimize the pain and anxiety of hair loss, or tell you to ‘get over it’ or ‘be confident’ because it’s not something I, or anyone not in your shoes, could ever really understand. Still, I hope it’s somewhat comforting to know that, being a hair loss sufferer, you’re in good company even if everyone’s journey is a little different.

Also, any woman that sees hair loss as a 'deal-breaker' is not worth getting involved with to begin with. If anything, maybe hair loss gives you a good way to weed out the bad apples!

[mlally]

wonderful comments thanks

your right people who are healthy- happy would never make the comments I mentioned in my post at as yu said , a great way to weed out the losers.

[Fixed by 35]

The only word I’ve heard uttered of his hair loss came from his own self-deprecating humor.

One thing I absolutely cannot stand about hair loss is the way men who suffer from male pattern baldness are expected to make a light hearted joke about it, or enjoy the 'ribbing.' Most men find it a disfiguring condition that destroyed their confidence and ruined their lives, yet they're meant to treat it like some big joke.

For some reason it is socially acceptable whilst jokes about flat chested women or disfiguring birth marks are generally considered taboo, despite the fact that none of these conditions can be controlled except by cosmetic surgery. People are even wary not to make light of the fact that someone is fat or doesn't have good personal hygeine to their faces, even though these problems can be controlled.

The fact of the matter is that most men are so unhappy about their hair loss that when they're laughing about it on the outside, they're normally feeling a pain similar to bereavement on the inside. It's not easy projecting a positive outward expression feeling like that, I can tell you!

These days, having lost all my pride since my hair loss fell out, I'm really not bothered by what people think of me. When they make light of my hair loss, I normally say if they enjoy hair jokes they should go to a chemo ward and do it there. That normally shuts them up.

[baldozer]

One thing I absolutely cannot stand about hair loss is the way men who suffer from male pattern baldness are expected to make a light hearted joke about it, or enjoy the 'ribbing.' Most men find it a disfiguring condition that destroyed their confidence and ruined their lives, yet they're meant to treat it like some big joke.

For some reason it is socially acceptable whilst jokes about flat chested women or disfiguring birth marks are generally considered taboo, despite the fact that none of these conditions can be controlled except by cosmetic surgery. People are even wary not to make light of the fact that someone is fat or doesn't have good personal hygeine to their faces, even though these problems can be controlled.

The fact of the matter is that most men are so unhappy about their hair loss that when they're laughing about it on the outside, they're normally feeling a pain similar to bereavement on the inside. It's not easy projecting a positive outward expression feeling like that, I can tell you!

These days, having lost all my pride since my hair loss fell out, I'm really not bothered by what people think of me. When they make light of my hair loss, I normally say if they enjoy hair jokes they should go to a chemo ward and do it there. That normally shuts them up.

It hasn't ruined my life in any way. I am perfectly happy with myself.

[Notcoolanymore]

It hasn't ruined my life in any way. I am perfectly happy with myself.

That makes one.

Hair loss ruining our lives may be a bit extreme, but it would not be a stretch to say that hair loss will definitely have an impact on our lives.
Even you baldozer. You have mentioned that you are fine with your hair loss, but are here because you have a son and want to get information on developments for his sake. Even you realize that hair loss has the potential to have a negative effect on a person's life.

[Notcoolanymore]

A sampling of the comments I've heard.

"You would be cute if you weren't balding".
"Oh, he's going bald, forget him".
"I don't date bald guys."
"You're old". ( A gorgeous woman I was dating for a couple months who was only 4 years younger than me)
A woman came on hard to me a month ago at a local pub (just to let you know I had my ever present baseball hat on). She than took my hat off , looked at me disapprovingly and than said to her girlfriends, and stated "Let's go". She wasnt even attractive!!

I have never experienced any of the above, at least I never heard it, but this stuff does happen. Just to have random people make a point that you are unattractive because you have a trait that you can't control isn't something that most people can't brush off.

[FlightTL]

I want to see if other men share my experiences with women regarding hair loss.

I had thick curly hair in high school and college than noticed thinning around 24.

I thought I looked great and this helped my confidence tremendously. I wasn't ****y (ok ,maybe a little) and never had trouble meeting attractive women.

But, Ive noticed a very steady decline in my attraction abilities as Ive become older and lost alot of my hair. I've tried not to let it bother me but I would be dishonest with myself if I say It hasn't.

Here's why:

I'm constantly reminded of it by others, ecspecially women. They could be females who are either family, current girlfriends or complete strangers.

A sampling of the comments I've heard.

"You would be cute if you weren't balding".
"Oh, he's going bald, forget him".
"I don't date bald guys."
"You're old". ( A gorgeous woman I was dating for a couple months who was only 4 years younger than me)
A woman came on hard to me a month ago at a local pub (just to let you know I had my ever present baseball hat on). She than took my hat off , looked at me disapprovingly and than said to her girlfriends, and stated "Let's go". She wasnt even attractive!!

There are so many times Ive heard this lately I'm starting to feel as I'm a leper or an insignificant nobody. My balding head is saying this is stupid, shallow and ridiculous to feel this way, but my heart is hurtin anyway and these experiences have shattered my self confidence.

So I guess what I'm saying is , to say women don't care if you're balding is complete bs. ( I haven't anyone of them make positive comments)

I thinks all of us are concerned about this and this is truly why we obssess about hair loss.

Has anyone else experienced these type of situations with women,
(I would bet the bank on it)

Your stories, thoughts?

Women just keep away from me. They take one look at my baldness and uglyness and run. Or just turn their heads.

I feel your pain.

[burtandernie]

Not much to say that is real life and its not always fair. Sounds about what I generally hear too. I mean you can spin it or word it different ways to sound nicer but reality is reality lets not sugar coat it. Its like saying what someone looks like doesnt matter when we all know it does to an extent
Thats exactly the problem with MPB is that it makes you look prematurely older because most men lose their hair makes it an indicator of age. A lot of guys would look good until 40 if they didnt lose any hair.