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  1. #1
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    Default Dating a new girl and she wants to....

    So I'm dating a new smoking hot girl. Things are going well minus the distance, she lives about 400km away from me. But my real issue is, she wants to take a shower with me but I don't know how to tell her the truth. With the way I style my hair it's difficult for an average person to realize I'm losing it on the crown. But if my hair gets wet it's easy to see.

    She's never seen my hair wet or in its natural form, i always have hair putty. And she finds it odd. So far I've avoided the shower issue by saying I don't like taking showers. But she's like you are really odd about your hair.

    I know she won't care, and it's more my insecurities than anything. But I'm honestly paralyzed with fear to tell her the truth.

  2. #2
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    He longer you drag this out, the worse it'll be.

    Women have this amazing ability to sense your insecurities. You've probably given away more than you've realised at times and that's why she's picked up on it.

    She won't drop it now, they never do. It's not about wanting a shower with you, it's about seeing how you handle insecurities.

    I say **** it, go in all guns blazing and do it. Say you've just been joking about not liking showers etc and make it happen. Reasons for this are as follows:

    1. Your hairloss won't be as bad to others as it is to you, she might not even notice or care.
    2. How she'll react to your imperfections strongly relates to how YOU react to them. If you continue to be weird about this, and drag this out, all she take from it is you're not able to handle yourself. Women want a man to be a man, they're meant to be the pretty one of the relationship is how they'll see it, so the more concerned you are about this the more she'll be concerned about it. Be cool about it, be relaxed, and she will be too. Ive seen studies show that we overlook our partners imperfections because we're in love with them, I'm sure you're not perfect in every way apart from a bit of crown loss, so she's already overlooking other stuff I'm sure you're insecure about but less obvious with, and you'll be overlooking stuff with her, so crack on.
    3. You get to shower with a hot girl. Yes it's scary facing situations like this, we've all been there, but it's never so bad. I played football with my work mates the other week, it pelted down with rain and I was soaked, I was horrified by my hair, no one even noticed.
    Don't let this thing ****ing own you bro. You have a hot girl, who's clearly into you, stop letting something like this hold you back. I know it's hard, but if you carry on trying to avoid everyday life situations you'll only make life impossible.

  3. #3
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    Have you ever seen her without her make up, high heals and hair done?

    She might just want you to see the real her...

    If she likes you for you, she won't care about your hair loss.

  4. #4
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    This is a great response. It's not the actual physical issue that ruins relationships it's the insecurities that come from that issue. MOST men, and probably quite a few that she have dated in the past, are experiencing hair loss, especially in their 30's. It is ALWAYS WAY WORST in your mind than it is in hers. Chances are, she gets out of the shower and is insecure about her makeup, and maybe even her own hair. So she will be immediately fussing with her wet hair and probably redoing her concealer and eye liner... she might not even notice your hair. I let my insecurities about my hair end a pretty awesome relationship lately. My scenario might be different as I have these transplants, scars, horrible diffuse thinning every where and wouldn't even let her touch my hair. It was humiliating, immasculating, and just the sickest shitty feeling in the world. I literally had NO idea how to deal with it and still really don't until I shave to a zero and expose everything to the world. I know it's hard man, but the most cliche thing is also the most correct - If she doesn't accept you with hair loss, then she is just not the right one and not worth your time.

  5. #5
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    NotGivingUp's answer is perfect. Just jump right in dude, and concentrate on the hot girl who wants to shower with you - rather than worrying about what you look like, concentrate on how good she looks. If you want to, I'd even make a joke of it - tell her that if she says you're odd about your hair again, then you'll spank her, or something. Women don't care about your appearance so much as they care about how you deal with things, it's an evolutionary thing - men want a hot girl because we want to plant our seed in the healthiest female possible to produce the healthiest offspring, but women want a guy who copes with anything life throws at him, because he needs to protect her and any potential offspring from the sabre-tooth tiger, hunt to feed them in winter etc.

  6. #6
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    Just be straight foward man, once you get it off your chest and see that she doesn't care then youll feel so much better, I was like that with my girlfriend until I just told her and too be honest she says I could lose it all today and she won't see me any different (well see about that) lol but we've been through so much together that its not even about the looks anymore, she knows who and how I really am and as long as that doesn't change well i guess you can say the hair was just a bonus for me? Idk but point is be the man you've always been towards her and don't let your hair issue ruin that cause it will get the best of you and women like men that areconfident

  7. #7
    Senior Member JDW's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Not giving up View Post
    He longer you drag this out, the worse it'll be.

    Women have this amazing ability to sense your insecurities. You've probably given away more than you've realised at times and that's why she's picked up on it.

    She won't drop it now, they never do. It's not about wanting a shower with you, it's about seeing how you handle insecurities.

    I say **** it, go in all guns blazing and do it. Say you've just been joking about not liking showers etc and make it happen. Reasons for this are as follows:

    1. Your hairloss won't be as bad to others as it is to you, she might not even notice or care.
    2. How she'll react to your imperfections strongly relates to how YOU react to them. If you continue to be weird about this, and drag this out, all she take from it is you're not able to handle yourself. Women want a man to be a man, they're meant to be the pretty one of the relationship is how they'll see it, so the more concerned you are about this the more she'll be concerned about it. Be cool about it, be relaxed, and she will be too. Ive seen studies show that we overlook our partners imperfections because we're in love with them, I'm sure you're not perfect in every way apart from a bit of crown loss, so she's already overlooking other stuff I'm sure you're insecure about but less obvious with, and you'll be overlooking stuff with her, so crack on.
    3. You get to shower with a hot girl. Yes it's scary facing situations like this, we've all been there, but it's never so bad. I played football with my work mates the other week, it pelted down with rain and I was soaked, I was horrified by my hair, no one even noticed.
    Don't let this thing ****ing own you bro. You have a hot girl, who's clearly into you, stop letting something like this hold you back. I know it's hard, but if you carry on trying to avoid everyday life situations you'll only make life impossible.
    That's a great post

  8. #8
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    Why should you tell her? Just behave yourself as usual and don't attract her attention to your problem.

  9. #9
    Senior Member pkipling's Avatar
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    Great advice here already. Let me just echo that the less you make it a big deal in your head, the less big of a deal it will actually be. We have the tendency to exaggerate things in our minds and imagine the worst possible scenario, when the reality is probably a whole lot more clean and simple.

    And every single person on this planet has insecurities, including the smoking hot girl you're dating. I promise. The more confident you are and the more you love and accept yourself, the more comfortable she'll feel that you'll also love and accept her for who she is - no makeup, messy wet hair and all....

    I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My opinions/comments are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

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