I think I've hacked it

[Ahab]

The OP spouts nonsense. The truth is that the weight of fat and skin below head level, weighs upon and pulls down on the skin going across the top of the head. This results in poor blood circulation which makes your follicles go to sleep--like when your foot goes asleep--and while asleep, they are prone to being clogged with dandruff, dust, and oil. This explains why there are so many fat bald men around, because the more body fat, the more the skin is weighed down. It also explains why so many bald heads shine--it's because the scalp is stretched so tight. This is how minoxidil works--derived from a low blood pressure medication, minoxidil improves blood flow to the scalp.