Baldness and anger
I am noticing that everytime my I get this feelings of anxiety/depression/despair/anger over my baldness, I at the same time become angry on my family and sometimes friends. Angry about things that for example have happened long time ago? Sometimes I dont even know why I am being angry at them, rationally thinking I cant hold them responsible for my hairloss?
I wonder if any of you also experience this?
Losing your hair is like losing your identity. Like losing your youth. I don't give a f*ck what any one says, it is the hardest thing any man can deal with. Perhaps if you are 6'2", have a flawless face, are tan, have a perfect head shape and a ripped body... then you'll simply worry LESS, because you have so much confidence in other areas. For me, I would SERIOUSLY rather have some horrible, deadly disease then be experiencing the hair loss I am right now. SERIOUSLY. God, give me a deadly disease and a full head of hair, and i will be happier. I know it sounds sick, but I pray for this. I hate not being able to recognize myself in the mirror. I hate how quickly this has happened to me. I f*cking hate wearing hairspray every day and being afraid of the wind and rain and sun and lights .... So... my point is... this type of mental torment can definitely lead to depression and apathy, which are like the food for anger. My brother called me today and said, "my gf is worried about you. you seem fine to me, but she keeps saying, you're chronically depressed"... I wanted to yell at him with every bone in my body, "**** yes I am I hate myself, I hate the way I look. I hate my hair!!!" .... but, when you say it to yourself it sounds ridiculous. "I am so depressed and sad and angry because of my hair"... I just can't say it to anyone, except for on these forums.
People will deadly diseases usually do quite fine, that's why I hate when they are used as examples or courage.
Take HIV for example, you still look like yourself, no one could tell you are sick, and most importantly, unless it was passed by your mother, you'd be responsible for contracting the disease.
Same with heart disease, diabetes and many other things considered worse. Give me a break, with those ailments, you may be sick, but at least you don't look like it, you're still yourself.
I had this debate with a friend who had type 1 diabetes, and there's no debate to be had really, hair loss is worse.
But there he was complaining about having two shots a day and feeling tired sometimes.
Seriously? And this guy had the nerve to trivialize hair loss, "my father is bald and if it happens to me, I'll just get a hair transplant!" Because they think it's that f-ing simple!
Hair loss and severe facial burns are the worst thing that can happen to a human being, anything that alters your identity for the worse. Silent disease and physical suffering are a walk in the park.
HIV is extremely bad because it ruins your sex life so I would put it on a similar level w/ balding.
In fact this is THE main reason why hair loss is terrible, it kills your sexual identity which is the most important part of your identity as a human being. Some will want to disagree but if they think through it for a second they will realize that most of what they do & care about comes down to sex/love/dating
But yeah I agree, in general invisible diseases are much much better to have than disfigurement
Yes this has happened to me many times. This shitty nature of this problem can make you angry at the world & the slightest thing will trigger you even if it is only a thought/memory. But as jamesst11 says, you can not tell people it is because of hair loss unless you want them to think you are being ridiculous
Originally Posted by MrBald
How would any of these people react to disfigurement at a young age? you have the right to be furious, sad, bitter, indifferent or w/e you feel about this disease
Get a grip fellas. Im sure anyone with HIV would trade places with a balding man any day of the week.
When you get over the initial depression associated with hair loss, your life will go on, you'll find love and live your life to the fullest.
The sooner you accept what you have no control over, the sooner things get better. Good luck balding brothers, your life is in your hands, live it to the fullest.
this post made me finally join...
I know it's hard, and as I write this to you all I'm also writing to myself.
I went through most of life hating the way I looked, acne, crooked teeth, lanky body... Acne finally cleared up, I finally got braces and have them off now.
I was finally happy with how I looked (FINALLY) for a few years as my hair has been saying bye-bye slowly... Hate looking in the mirror sometimes after a shower or in the morning.
I'm 33/m, my boyfriend of 14 years with a beautiful lion's mane came down with a bad case of stage 4 cancer exactly one year ago.
I was supposed to go bald before him, he went through radiation, almost died and lost ALL of his hair in a matter of 2 months. He didn't complain once about his hair. It has since grown back after half a year of being bald, though it's grown back darker and coarse like lamb's wool. He's lucky to be alive right now.
People are born without hair.
People are born without limbs, or disfigured.
Some people are born dead.
I know its hard, but try to keep a large perspective on what we all have, as well as don't have.
I have good days and bad days, and like I said i'm writing this to myself and you.
I pray pray pray someone will FINALLY come up with a cure, and soon, but until then I have a little faith that Transplants will help a lot of us.
LETS KEEP OUR HEADS UP
Anger? Hahah, that's cute. Try rage, try fury. Broken plates and glasses, random bursts of madness, smashing stuff against the wall/floor, breaking things just so I don't take it out on myself. The many times a sick little part of me is strongly tempted to bald-shame my own family members and their loser genes out of sheer misery and resentment, knowing it was them that passed this wretched sickness onto me.
What NW are you?
Originally Posted by IAMX
Thanks a lot. Your post puts things into perspective.
Originally Posted by IAMX
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