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I know this is irrelevant to what most of us are here to accomplish. I know as well, that many of you are probably tired of these damn optimistic posts because going bald sucks. In the past year and a half I have lost 60% of my hair due to trauma from HT surgery, knee surgery, DEPRESSION over losing my hair.
- I have become afraid of the wind, rain and sun
- I dislike social gatherings now. Before I enjoyed them
- I take photos of my f*cking hair every day
- I have gone to therapy for 5 months
- My current girlfriend has not even touched my f*cking hair, and we've been dating for 2 months and have sex regularly
- I have not gone ONE F*CKING DAY in over a year WITHOUT HORRIBLE F*CKING HAIRSPRAY
Who the f*ck am I? I mean, I maintain my business, still play sports and still occassionally see family and friends, but WHAT THE F*CK HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!?!
I am exhausted. I am so damn emotionally exhausted and over whelmed and anxious all the time. I KNOW image means a lot in this world. I just DON'T KNOW if this is worth it any more. My scalp is a nightmare. It is thinning every where and in certain locations has 2-3 hair grafts poking straight up. I have a scar on the back of my head. AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW if I will look horrible bald. I have always been a very handsome guy and I suppose with that came 31 years of some sort of entitlement. An entitlement that is stabbing me with a million knives in the f*cking soul right now. But I am exhausted. Just f*cking exhausted. I even ordered a professional bald cap today and if I put it on and look o.k.... then I am done. I can't shave it to even a 1 guard, or I am sure it will look weird. It has to be zero. Completely bald. I am sorry for venting, but this the ONLY place I can say all these things and won't get laughed at or mocked or replied to with sarcasm. I needed to say it somewhere.
- I have become afraid of the wind, rain and sun
- I dislike social gatherings now. Before I enjoyed them
- I take photos of my f*cking hair every day
- I have gone to therapy for 5 months
- My current girlfriend has not even touched my f*cking hair, and we've been dating for 2 months and have sex regularly
- I have not gone ONE F*CKING DAY in over a year WITHOUT HORRIBLE F*CKING HAIRSPRAY
Who the f*ck am I? I mean, I maintain my business, still play sports and still occassionally see family and friends, but WHAT THE F*CK HAS HAPPENED TO ME?!?!
I am exhausted. I am so damn emotionally exhausted and over whelmed and anxious all the time. I KNOW image means a lot in this world. I just DON'T KNOW if this is worth it any more. My scalp is a nightmare. It is thinning every where and in certain locations has 2-3 hair grafts poking straight up. I have a scar on the back of my head. AND I REALLY DON'T KNOW if I will look horrible bald. I have always been a very handsome guy and I suppose with that came 31 years of some sort of entitlement. An entitlement that is stabbing me with a million knives in the f*cking soul right now. But I am exhausted. Just f*cking exhausted. I even ordered a professional bald cap today and if I put it on and look o.k.... then I am done. I can't shave it to even a 1 guard, or I am sure it will look weird. It has to be zero. Completely bald. I am sorry for venting, but this the ONLY place I can say all these things and won't get laughed at or mocked or replied to with sarcasm. I needed to say it somewhere.