I can't imagine ever being happy again

[Vox]

My wife is 21 and I'm 26. She doesn't give a shit about my hair loss.
...
At the end of the day I'm a 26 year old NW 2.5 with a 21 year old wife who's an objective 8-9.

I don't want to be rude or anything, but from my personal perspective (see my previous message), being NW2.5 at 26 and talking about the consequences of hair loss in your life seems more like a joke than anything else. All you have is simply a little more than a mature hairline, which is not unusual in this age.

However you don't mention the general situation of you hair. Except the receding hairline, do you have enough thickness or do you lose hair in a diffuse pattern? This can make a huge difference when you are still in the low NW stages. With a good thickness, NW2.5 is really minor in your age for all practical purposes.