My final thoughts on having no hair at 20

[BeaveCake]

I've made a couple other posts on this site before but this time I'll leave one final thread explaining it. Two years ago my father passed away and I was 18 at the time, just graduated it was very stressful as I was the only child, my mom was breaking down, plans for school out the window etc. I gave myself time to recover and save money before starting college. As time progressed I figured I'd go to the doctor for a small issue I'd always had to make sure it was fine. Turns out the doc said it could be linked to several types of crippling life destroying disorders and given family history needed to be checked. In that time I seen more doctors than probably any other time in my life. Specialists from one of the best hospitals in the US were all confused at how I could have these symptoms but no disorder. In the end the told me I was a bit of a freak of nature but there was nothing that would affect my life. Now imagine that stress, being 18 and just losing your father, your friends gone, laying awake wondering if you'd spend your life as a cripple one day. I'm glad that won't be the case but add to the stress I noticed at one point my hair mostly on top, thinned dramatically. The whole Norwood area plus some parts of the sides. In the end it turned out to be a case of Telogen Effluvium that became permanent as the stress causing the loss was chronic and the follicles resting for too long. So I lost about half my hair diffusely and was told it wasn't coming back. It affected the sides too but mostly the top (for whatever reason the top of the skull one is always more sensitive to types of hairloss) And yes you nay Sayers it is bald, you could see through the hair easily so I opted to shave it, it's cue ball bald like Bruce Willis and I shave everyday for the most part. My face and head shape are good for it however I am pale and a smaller built guy so I'm not the typical model shaved guy. And you know what I while I was very worried about what girls would think I still knew that baldness wouldn't keep me from the job I wanted, or being successful financially or socially so to those thinking bald men are lowered by society it's all in your head- for my age my job pays well, I'm attending college and finishing skydiving courses next spring/summer and many people love seeing me around so it hasn't hurt me in those aspects-but I admit I was very worried about what girls would think, especially since with my standards I wouldn't date a girl below a 7 I'd say (I don't feel completely comfortable numbering but just to give an idea) but you know what? They don't seem to mind like I thought. Maybe this site helped I'm a twisted way in that many said women hate bald men so I was braced for it..but it didn't come. I got asked, by an attractive 16 now 17 year old girl to go to her schools prom. I barely knew her, and she was a solid 7-8 asking a cue ball guy to her prom. I went and many people there, kids a couple years younger than me, talked with me and I became a small bit of celebrity when they heard about skydiving. Nobody really cared about the hair, even in highschool which is the most superficial social arena. Anyway that night not only did I find out my date was interested in me so was her friend and they actually caused quite a bit of drama over this bald guy. Weeks later a girlfriend of my friend heard that I was previously really worried about no hair and she (thinking I still was) immediately texted me 'you are a f**king stud without hair' explaining before she hooked up with my friend she was actually checking me out a lot. So young women hating baldness, no not true. Here are the harsh truths and final thoughts on hairloss as a young man:

While some do pull it off better than others, a shaved head is always better than a horseshoe this young.

Is baldness a preference to most young women? No, However is it a deal breaker to finding a guy attractive to them? No, horseshoe maybe but shaved (even with a slight shadow of horseshoe) is rarely a deal breaker. You can still be attractive bald.

Is baldness a deal breaker to some young women? yes it is, just like it is to some older women, but guess what, many girls you think reject you for no hair would reject you for a number of reasons anyway, most people don't find most people attractive in the first place hair or not, (I certainly got rejected with hair too!) it's about finding one you think is great looking and can hold a conversation with, who thinks the same of you. Simple as that, you don't have to settle on a girl you find unattractive, or plain etc. yeah you won't win them all but no one does, if you're going for something real and not trying to be a player, you probably won't even notice a change with how members of the opposite sex treat you.

Is accepting it a must? Yes, I shave bald because I lost hair. If someone new asks me about it I tell them. I don't wear hats to cover it, I proudly walk around with my pale dome soaking as much sun as possible and I really believe that's why I never went as nuts over it as some guys, because people can tell I can accept having no hair and live on. Hiding it will always make it worse.

And finally something that really bugs me that guys say here: is baldness the worst thing a young man can experience? No, I watched my father struggling for air, watched my mother break down for months after he was gone, laid awake at night wondering if I'd be in a wheelchair, and that was far worse that losing hair, and anyone who thinks losing hair is worse than that needs to be taught a lesson, and is a spoiled childish brat. Don't get me wrong hairloss is devastating when young, at first. Then you adapt and survive and thrive. If you accept it, shave it and go on with life others will too, if every night you sit hung up on it while continuing on then others will get hung up on it to. Besides my story there are many who have it far worse as well, and live happily. (For the record, the two other young bald guys I know are married with girls who were very attractive, one changed some after child birth but is still pretty, the other is a model looking girl)

So to any young guy losing hair who reads this, yes it's tough but that's the way life is. Move past it, find a hobby (doesn't have to as extreme as skydiving) find a girl who you find very attractive and love your life. Because everyday the world ends for someone, and when it's your time you shouldn't look back and see nothing but hair that fell long ago.

This is my final thread on hairloss, and possibly the last time on this site, I may check back to see what others think of what I wrote (if the pity party crew jumps it or not) and if it helped anyone. But I got on this site to look up about hairloss, then realized most of this site is just self defeatist feel sorry for me garbage. I hoped I off set that some.

May the skies you fall in always be blue.