Dear Diary.. Another balding 19 yo teen.. (pic + vid included)

[Vunoo]

Hello community, I was going to write a text on how sad I feel right now, but I felt like sharing a small text from my "diary" would sound better... English is not my main language, so if you feel like it has many errors or it sounds too stupid, just skip it. This is just how I try to unburden my mind...


"I see the days passing by, and myself slowly degradating. The positive expressions and opinions are now pretty much non-existent. I lost my self-steem, my faith and optimism about my future. Every day is just another scratch of a future that got lost between the winds of the past, and the shame of the present.

Sometimes I ask myself, "Why am I still living? What's the point of life when you can no longer enjoy it and you're constantly feeling bad about yourself?.. If I could just enjoy one more minute with the old me..."

I am stuck with all these questions running around my head..

But then I fake a smile, and if someone asks me, "what is wrong?". I simply reply with, "I'm just tired". And they agree, they say to take a nap.

But you see, this exhaustion, it is not something simply resolved by sleeping. I cannot simply shut my eyes and wake up okay.

I need a break from my brain,
my heart,
my life.
I need to go away just for a little while.

Or maybe just for forever."



I don't know what to do anymore guys. My parents don't really care that much, and neither does my dermatologist... so please, if you can, give me a hand !

I've been taking finasteride 1mg + minox 5% for pretty much 2 years and to be honest, I'm quite sad with the results ... I have no idea if I should increase the amount, or if it is just not working at all for me..

This is a random video that I made 4 years ago, when I was 15, which was when my "friends" started making fun of me.

https://vid.me/wzPq

And this is how I ended up after 2 years + 2 years taking medication.... (19 years old now)

(http://imgur.com/qFrTAxa)


Thank you for reading, and yes. I know it got a lot worse, I already hear things like that everyday

[topback]

Hello community, I was going to write a text on how sad I feel right now, but I felt like sharing a small text from my "diary" would sound better... English is not my main language, so if you feel like it has many errors or it sounds too stupid, just skip it. This is just how I try to unburden my mind...


"I see the days passing by, and myself slowly degradating. The positive expressions and opinions are now pretty much non-existent. I lost my self-steem, my faith and optimism about my future. Every day is just another scratch of a future that got lost between the winds of the past, and the shame of the present.

Sometimes I ask myself, "Why am I still living? What's the point of life when you can no longer enjoy it and you're constantly feeling bad about yourself?.. If I could just enjoy one more minute with the old me..."

I am stuck with all these questions running around my head..

But then I fake a smile, and if someone asks me, "what is wrong?". I simply reply with, "I'm just tired". And they agree, they say to take a nap.

But you see, this exhaustion, it is not something simply resolved by sleeping. I cannot simply shut my eyes and wake up okay.

I need a break from my brain,
my heart,
my life.
I need to go away just for a little while.

Or maybe just for forever."



I don't know what to do anymore guys. My parents don't really care that much, and neither does my dermatologist... so please, if you can, give me a hand !

I've been taking finasteride 1mg + minox 5% for pretty much 2 years and to be honest, I'm quite sad with the results ... I have no idea if I should increase the amount, or if it is just not working at all for me..

This is a random video that I made 4 years ago, when I was 15, which was when my "friends" started making fun of me.

https://vid.me/wzPq

And this is how I ended up after 2 years + 2 years taking medication.... (19 years old now)

(http://imgur.com/qFrTAxa)


Thank you for reading, and yes. I know it got a lot worse, I already hear things like that everyday

Christ dude that's intense. I feel you though. How bad is your hairline?

[Vunoo]

Christ dude that's intense. I feel you though. How bad is your hairline?

That's something that I never understood...I think my hairline is close to perfect..... But my overall hair density is this sad...

This hair thinning all started when my parents divorced, but if stress was the cause, I would've gotten my hair back already...

[jamesst11]

From the pic and vid you provided...Your hair doesn't look much worst at all!! It's hard, every one on here can agree with that. Did you have sides on fin? Have you brought up dut with your doctor?

[Vunoo]

From the pic and vid you provided...Your hair doesn't look much worst at all!! It's hard, every one on here can agree with that. Did you have sides on fin? Have you brought up dut with your doctor?

No sir, I didn't have sides on fin as far as I remember, and no, I didnt brought up dut with my dermatologist. But when I went there, she didn't look really serious around this problem, finding a good dermatologist isn't always easy I would say =/ ....

Do you think that the amount of hair I lost these 4 years was due to fin / minox ? Or should I take a DHT test ? I mean, I have no clue on what's going on... My father only started loosing his hair when he reached his late 30's and noone else from both sides of my family has any problems with hair loss... There are so many questions, yet so few answers...

[Illusion]

Yeah I feel you. If writing these things down help you to cope with it then by all means do it. I personally don't find it helpful and frankly, it brings me down even more. Sometimes it feels so good to drown in your own sorrow but in the end you just fck yourself over even more. When I'm down, I try to write positive, helpful thoughts down on a piece of paper. Or listen to something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXuR...daEvg&index=15

Positive helpful thoughts don't necessarily mean you have to see your life better than it is. You have to stay real with yourself. But still, everyone has something positive in their life. Maybe it's a skill, an attribute, an interest in something or a relationship with someone (friend/family member for example). It's really hard to do this in the beginning as life seems like a huge steaming pile of dogsh!t, so try to start small. It has helped me in the past and I'm doing it again right now. It feels good in dark times to discover you still have things going for in your life.

Have you talked to your parents about this in depth? You say they don't care but maybe they just don't realise how bad this is affecting you. That was the case with me. They thought it was 'just' a tough period but when I dropped the S-bomb (suicide) they made an appointment for me with a therapist ASAP. I think it would be good for you as well to go to a therapist. Try to find one that knows a lot about BDD (Body Dismoprhic Disorder), I really think that will be very beneficial for you.

Regarding your hair, your current situation is still manageable but again I feel you, no one should be going through this at their 19th. I think you should switch to dutasteride as soon as possible, it might fill in your crown. You might be having a hard time getting it through your dermatologist though, based on hat you've wrote about her and based on the fact that not a lot of dermatologists are a big fan of prescribing treatments that aren't yet approved for hair loss, which is the case for dutasteride (it's only approved for BPH). Still, I would try to find a way to get it. If you really have no other option, try to find a trustworthy source online. In the mean time, you can try Toppik to conceal your crown. If your hair line is still intact, a bit of Toppik will basically conceal your hair loss 100%.

Best of luck man. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sharing your fate. I'm 17 and considering going on dutasteride within a month or so. even though I've only been on treatments for approx a 6 months, I've receded further and I need something to nuke my DHT. it's funny because my derm first prescribed me dut but I wanted to start with fin first (who the fck gives dut to a 17 y/o?) as fin was usually enough to at least halt hair loss. But now I regret that decision... Hopefully I can get my hands on some dut very soon so my hair line will still be decent.

[Nos]

Try topicals- RU is pretty sweet in my opinion.

[Vunoo]

Will talk with my parents regarding this possibility, thank you for your advice

[Vunoo]

Holy christ, I just checked the prices and 75$ is way too much for me <.< ... i'm still a student, too hard to afford such a thing :'(

[BaldAt20]

Dont mess with RU until you're 100% sure about it ... read every 7x pages on forum. RU also gives sides. Look at my thread maye you could feel a bit better: https://www.baldtruthtalk.com/thread...e-a-nightmare/