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  1. #1
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    Default Having a hard time getting the girl I love because of my hair loss.

    I feel completely incapable of getting the woman of my dreams because of my receding hairline and i'm really taking it personally. I'm currently 19, and she's the woman I took to prom. She's so beautiful that sometimes I feel as though she's just too good for me, and that if people saw us together, that they would comment on it and I would feel bad. To be completely honest, I've never told her that I'm in love with her, and as time goes on I talk myself out of it. Anyone else experienced something along this line?

    I also feel very incapable of doing a lot of the things that I once really wanted to do. I always wanted to play music, just hit the road and do it, but fear that people will overt any of my talent professionally because of my image. I'm kind of a skinny, dorky type and enjoy weeds, guitar, and camping. I also feel like I look older than a lot of my friends which really separates them from me sometimes.

    I feel very debilitated by my hair loss to the point where I've lost a lot of interest in the things that used to interest me. I'm not trying to be ****y at all, but I wasn't an ugly guy when I had hair, and received attention when I was younger. I hope that someday I find someone that loves me for me, because I feel like I could be a great boyfriend, but that I won't get the chance until I outgrow this stage of my life. I have great morals and ethics and I'm smart and funny, going to college and moving forward but I've lost so much of myself over the past year that I don't know if I'll ever regain my self esteem unless I undergo a hair transplant (already on propecia and minoxidil). Very depressed right now and sometimes I feel like just hiding away from the rest of the world. I don't feel comfortable without hair, but I feel like I have no choices left to make, which is the most frustrating part. Society puts too much emphasis on looking good, and spends hardly any time helping people that need help. It's kind of sad that I have to feel this way when this should be the best time of my life.

    But we all have our own problems, and I just have no one here to talk to or that understands what I have to deal with, first thing every morning of my recent life. And this is the reason I feel so alone all the time, because I have to bare this great burden here on my own at the age of 19. I feel completely robbed of any chance I ever had at being completely happy or "normal" for that matter, because I know I'll probably never come to terms with my hair loss because I don't like my hair loss. I don't think my new image conveys the message I would like to convey as a human being. I should be thinking about more important things but it's so hard because, how you see yourself is how other people see you, and people see frustration and sadness when they look at me. I love women, and I just want to move on from feeling like I'm inferior to all of them.

  2. #2
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    Hey dude your not alone, when I was 17 ( 2 years ago ) I had long thick brown hair. I was into exactly the same stuff you are, guitar music etc. I'm also tall and lanky.. but have always been complimented on my features. Also not being vein, but I was always given a lot of attention for my looks. Now dude ironically my hair has completely thinned out, receded and I think I'm losing my eyebrows. I've lost mostly all interest in my life. I used to have dreams of being an actor and pursuing the creative arts, but now I sit around the house hiding away from society feeling as if I'm 39 years old. I empathize with you man, having to become mature early to fight this artificial world we are apart of is tough. I've recently taken on minoxidil 5% however I have yet to see any result. I'm contemplating going on prosca, although for guys our age I told it wasn't safe. I don't want to be 21 potent, bald and eyebrowless lol... GG. Anyway man try and be positive your a good looking lad by the sounds of things, and fortunately even though you might not feel it, it will always be the case. luckily if all else fails there is always non-surgical hair replacement, if you didn't already know actors like brendan fraiser (the mummy) and john trivolta use non-surgical. If you ever want to talk dude about anything www.facebook.com/cadyn.binns

  3. #3
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    Hey bro, couldn't help but feel for your story... my old man and my younger bro are bald so like a car i decided to go the "preventitave matinance" approach to my hair loss by doing something about it before it got so bad that it was beyond repair, had a hair transplant at 25, have taken propecia since and am now doing laser hair therapy... while it has helped alot i pretty much sacrificed having a relationship with the girl of my dreams because i was so obsessed with my hair loss and not wanting to be bald. I always feared that if i didn't do something about my hair loss that eventually she would leave me and it would be to late to ever find someone that i was as attracted to or in love with. Truth is though if you think she would be that superficial about an imperfection that you had no part in wanting or trying to cause then she may not be the girl of your dreams... fat / skinny people can diet and work out to change their apperance but besides what modern science offers there isn't much people with hair loss can do about it, yet people tend to look at us as if WE did something negitive to aquire this receding hair line. Before i ramble on further the point i wanted to make is you should decide what is more important in your life, the girl who you may think is the one or your hair loss... i found out that picking one left me without the other.

  4. #4
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    Yeah dude, I know how that feels. I'm turning 21 in 15 days and my hairline is also receding/thinning. Also, to make matters worse I was born with a sort of lopsided widows-peak with the grain of my hair running in different directions on either side. So I already looked like I was balding before I was actually balding. I took lots of shit over my hair in school. I find being called baldy in middle school is unbelievably unpleasant haha. After middle school I just grew my hair out and it wasn't too much of a problem. Then I started college (age 18) and to my absolute horror, ( you guys probably know that shocked sickening feeling ) I noticed without a doubt that my hair was starting to go.
    I immediately started 5% minox which I used only before bed, (I can't see the point of having hair if its all greasy and gross all day.) Initially I ruled out propecia because I didn't want to **** with my hormone levels or have to go see a doctor about my problem. Then after a month or so I realized I was either going to have to get on finasteride or a very powerful antidepressant, so I got a prescription for generic proscar. Once I started the proscar (which I cut into fifths and take only every-other day) I stopped using the minox, BIG MISTAKE.
    Over the 3 months of not using minox I developed a painfully visible forward facing C shape of thinned out hair around a slightly thicker tuft in the front of my head. This depressed the hell out of me, and I started obsessing over it. To stop the obsessing and to sort of face my fears of being bald I decided to shave my head down to the skull. I also started to reapply minox, but only half a mil. and only every-other day on the days I take finastaride. Well I'm pleased to report that in the last 3 months my hair has grown back thick, and that thinned out C shape is no longer visible. As for headshaving , I would maybe give it a go, It was pretty liberating in a weird way. I discovered I have a fairly lopsided head haha, but whatever.

    Losing your hair at this age sucks massive amounts of ass, it really does, but it's not that bad. Your not paralyzed, you don't have cancer, you're not horrifically disfigured or burned. The bottom line is it's hard, and there are bad days, but you gotta man up and handle it. Life is short and more than just hair.

    As for you and that girl, just do what you would normally do.......

  5. #5
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    Just hang in there, man. It gets better. The pain and nostalgia never go away, but it becomes bearable. Reading support on forums is a great temporary relief, but you really just have to fight through it.

  6. #6
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    In the same boat dude 20 and going bald. I used to be the one of the "hot guys" in high school and college but now it sucks. however i feel like the phantom of the opera when i put a hat on, brings back the confidence i had in the good days of my youth. i really hope hair multplication comes soon otherwise yeah the best years of my life are lost in a god damn pit of misery and social exile.

  7. #7
    Doctor Representative the B spot's Avatar
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    Your hair is only a part of you...a small part really. Hair does not make you the person YOU are....ALL of us are given a measure of talent, personality, etc...that coupled with our life experiences make us who we are.

    You need to work on your confidence...go work out, further your education, change your clothing style, get another job, learn a 2nd language, etc.... and let this woman who you love admire you for who you are, not just what you look like.

    Do not let hairloss define you mate. Your own insecurity will drive her away before she leaves you because your bald.

    Remember this mate...regardless of what happens with this woman, you are still going to be you. Embrace yourself and hold your chin up!!!!!

    Cheers!!!
    Jason
    Patient Advocate/FUE Coordinator for Shapiro Medical Group. My advice and opinions are my own and is not medical advice. I am a Cubs fan.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by the B spot View Post
    Your hair is only a part of you...a small part really. Hair does not make you the person YOU are....ALL of us are given a measure of talent, personality, etc...that coupled with our life experiences make us who we are.

    You need to work on your confidence...go work out, further your education, change your clothing style, get another job, learn a 2nd language, etc.... and let this woman who you love admire you for who you are, not just what you look like.

    Do not let hairloss define you mate. Your own insecurity will drive her away before she leaves you because your bald.

    Remember this mate...regardless of what happens with this woman, you are still going to be you. Embrace yourself and hold your chin up!!!!!

    Cheers!!!
    Jason
    ^^^^^^^^Wisdom^^^^^^^^^^^

  9. #9
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    Guys....I think you need to stop seeing things entirely from a hair loss perspective, otherwise the problem consumes you and you become your hair loss rather than a person.

    I worked in showbiz for a while and was auditioning in LA for actors. I wanted ordinary looking kids for a TV show/videogame and got endless 'beautiful people' most of whom worked in bars, shops, restaurants etc. because there were just too many beautiful people chasing too few acting roles. We had really great problems finding a fat guy for instance, and when we did find one, he's hardly ever been out of a job since. So cadz, do not give up your thoughts of an acting career, in this case your hair loss will work in your favour since you will be in the minority and there are jobs for character actors! Get yourself to acting school man and you will have a great career!

    The trouble is that most people know that confidence, success and wealth etc can overcome the negative impact of hair loss. It is just that they don't know how to start feeling better about themselves to achieve that confidence. The way to do that is to think about what you are good at, sport, poker, writing, speaking, career etc. and whatever that strength is...build on it...and become good at it! Never try to build on weaknesses always build on strengths. When you are really good at something, you will just feeling good about yourself because others will tell you that you are good. That is the start of the upward spiral. Also don't choose something introverted like computer games or car maintenance, pick something that brings you into contact with other human beings and involves a social life. If you can't think of something then volunteer for charity work or similar, that brings you into contact with people and also helps you to help others. It also gets your problems into perspective. It needn't be a charity, it could be a conservation group, a wine tasting group, look at the Meetup people (in the 'States), they always have something going on.

  10. #10
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    I've felt the same about this topic also, and this is one thing I've found to be helpful.

    I was going through Spencer Kobren's archive of interviews and this thread reminded me of his interview with Neil Strauss.

    Here it is: http://www.baldtruthtalk.com/showthr...hlight=strauss

    FYI, Neil Strauss, author of "The Game", is one of the most successful seduction artists in the world. He's 5'7, 130lbs, bald/shaved head, depending on how you look at it.

    This is a picture of him.



    If that guy can pull models, it just dispells the idea that a man needs hair to attract a girl. Or needs to be tall, or rich, or [enter your copout here].

    Hope this helps you see things from a better perspective.

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