This place is depressing (long rant)

[GoingGoing]

I'll hop onto these forums now and again to see what's new in the world of baldness "cures", since yes, it does bother me to be a guy going bald. I have this lame comb forward thing going on that is getting worse all the time, it takes me forever to comb my hair in the morning and hairspray it into place, I avoid windy days like the plague - just a plethora of annoyances that I would love to not have to deal with. I'm a pretty insecure person to begin with, so something like hair loss hits me pretty hard. I fully realize this...but stumbling upon this particular subgroup is a whole other depth of hell. I really wonder where someone's head is at to consider killing themselves because they're losing their hair. I have the same question for those who reply with nothing more than agreement with the sentiment. People who try offer words of encouragement are apparently deluded and ridiculed for not understanding, or being at earlier stages of baldness. No, they can't possibly just be people with a stronger constitution - you know, the kind of person you would actually want to hear advice from.

I mean, who we you before you started losing your hair? Were you a happy-go-lucky, well-adjusted individual? I can't possibly see that being the case. Doesn't that tell you that your particular response to something superficial is more about YOU than the actual hair loss? Doesn't that tell you that the "cure" is not something that will just fix your hair? You will get old, and other crappy things will happen to your body. If you're one of the lucky ones, baldness will be the worse ailment you have to deal with until you go peacefully. Is there no perspective?

...and where did you get the impression that no one would ever find you attractive again? There are millions of women out there, and you're basing your experience on a snarky remark from some shrew who probably would have picked apart something else about you given the chance. Or better yet, the internet?...or celebrities? You weren't Brad Pitt when you had hair either, I'm sure.

Then again, is this just an excuse for a generally inability with women? Do you/have you tried anything else to possibly improve your appearance and luck in that department? Of course you'd likely look better with nice hair, all things equal. You would also look better with muscle on your body, a new wardrobe, a nice tan perhaps if you're into that sort of thing and a successful career to boost your confidence. These are things in YOUR control.

I really, REALLY hate to sound so harsh, since I know that this is rough, despite what I'm saying...but I'm just in disbelief at what I'm reading here. The forum is called "coping with hair loss" but coping implies a degree of success. There is more wallowing here than anything else, and its the kind that feeds upon itself by the lack of support from others. The title of this forum reads like a support group, but there is no support. It's unfortunate, really.

As a disclaimer though, I fully realize that being in your late teens and early 20's and having to deal with balding while hardly any one of your peers is dealing with the same must be devastating. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that, as if figuring out your life at that age isn't hard enough. I'm referring to the crowd of those a bit older. I'm sure this board doesn't consist of all college-aged men, so I think it's a damn shame to see suicide posts (over hair!) not get shot down by the masses immediately. It's just a horrible example.

It's a feel good moment when someone here musters the courage to break the shackles and get rid of their remaining hair. All this talk about head shape, facial features, framing, etc and they almost always look much better. A kudos to you, sir, for owning it. I admire your courage as I myself am not brave enough at this point.

Listen, I know it sucks and I don't mean to preach...but it really doesn't have to be life-endingly crappy, nor is it as bad as so many other things in this world a person can deal with. A person posting a cry for help needs just that. Hair won't fix them. Something else will come along. Open your eyes. Have some perspective. Be honest with yourself about why you are dealing with this in the way that you are, rather than just adding to a cesspool of misery. That isn't helping anyone.