Froze up with woman at the mall..The nice body thing doesn't work :(

[FlightTL]

I went to the mall to buy a winter coat. So, I walk into Abercrombie and Fitch, and this hot female host walks up to me and tells me there is a sale for t-shirts. I froze up, because I was so attracted to her, and then I said ok and walked away. I feel so terrible I didn't even say anything more.

I've been laughed at so much and feel so ugly when I look in the mirror, that I basically run away from women now. Few minutes later this guy walks in, and starts chatting her up. He was talking to her for an entire 15 minutes(the entire time i was shopping). I left embarrassed at my severe hair loss.

The whole having a nice body thing only works if you're in the gym with a tank top or at the beach. IT IS TOTALLY OVERATED...



Whenever I look in the mirror and see the huge looking forehead and severe baldness, the depression kicks in, and I feel so so sad.

[Notcoolanymore]

Damn you were ready to throw down 2 bills for a jacket and you only work 10 hrs a week....nice.

And yeah a nice body is over rated, all you need is confidence.

[FlightTL]

Damn you were ready to throw down 2 bills for a jacket and you only work 10 hrs a week....nice.

And yeah a nice body is over rated, all you need is confidence.

lol, they had 50% off a jacket that was 80, so thats why.

confidence is something i do not have lol

[Munkynutz]

In this case I would suggest it is the confidence which was an issue here. Not the hair on your head. Though I note by the fact you said it is still there and showing your forehead that there cannot be any possible way you have shaved the remaining crap on your scalp off yet. I still think you should

As far as the nice body goes it is not hit and miss. Be in good physical shape (this doesn't mean rippling with muscles) and women are programmed to find you more attractive. Bigger men appear stronger and more dominant but there are ways to screw this up. You sort of want that unassuming but well toned look of Brad Pitt in Fight Club. Not huge or pushed out of proportion but obviously with strength.

Not being able to talk comfortably to women doesn't have much to do with how you look though from anyone's point of view but your own. You're making it hard to talk to them, not them. Hehe you sound like me at 18

[thejack]

lol, they had 50% off a jacket that was 80, so thats why.

confidence is something i do not have lol

Confidence is something that can be developed over time. You need to change your mind set completely to the opposite direction unless you want to continue living in the psychological 'hell' that you do. Learn from your social mistakes and forget about hot women, you are not ready for them yet. They need to be perceived as equals to less attractive women anyway as part of the key to winning them. You need to practice on some women who have less confidence themselves that way you can gain some momentum. Do some research and apply it if you really want to change. It's a waste of time feeling sorry for yourself man

[pkipling]

Attractiveness has so much more to do with confidence, inner strength, charm, and a good personality than it does with anything physical. Haven't you ever seen someone extremely physically attractive, but when you talk to them the magic disappears? Or vice versa, haven't you ever met someone who by conventional standards wasn't considered "beautiful", but something about them made them almost captivating?

For proof of this, just look at celebrities. How many female celebrities out there would you find to be a total babe if they weren't famous? (This is almost even more true with male celebrities.) I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning, for example.... But in isolation, I have friends that would probably be considered more attractive than she is based on appearances alone. But her confidence, personality, talent, and the overall way she carries herself has made her quite the Hollywood leading lady.

An even better example of this is looking back at an old Italian actress, Anna Magnani. By traditional physical standards, this woman was not attractive - yet she exuded sexuality to the point where she was the leading lady alongside Marlon Brando when he was in his prime. So it's not just phony psychobabble when people say that it's what's on the inside that counts. I'm not saying outward appearance isn't important, but an ounce of confidence is worth 100 pounds of physical beauty.

So start doing some inner work so that you can look in the mirror and like what you see instead of despise it - and maybe you'll start seeing your confidence grow. One general rule of thumb for actively doing this is this: Only speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend or someone you truly love and care about. So if you wouldn't look at a friend (or even a stranger) and say that they have a giant ugly, bald head and that they don't deserve any happiness or love because of it, don't say it to yourself. When you catch yourself saying nasty things to yourself, imagine saying them to a person in your life who you love and care about - and more often than not that will help you realize the absurdity of whatever comment it is you're making. We tend to be much meaner to ourselves than we do the people we love.

I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My opinions/comments are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

[Notcoolanymore]

lol, they had 50% off a jacket that was 80, so thats why.

confidence is something i do not have lol

I forgot to ask you if you did end up getting the jacket? They have some nice stuff there.

[Munkynutz]

I agree try starting with less than perfect women in your eyes. You'll figure out what level you are comfortable with fairly shortly after you give whatever a try and then higher levels of women will become available.

Think of this like a video game. You must level up.

I also (being privy to some former conversations with you) am not sure you could have developed a perfectly attractive body in the short period of time you have spent at the gym. I mean you can fairly good results in 6 months if you're there for an hour or more a day and working hard, but a couple of months... Eh, and especially if you're not in moderate shape to begin with!? Probably take years.

I know for me I have always wanted the most gorgeous or women and they are of course not necessarily the easiest to pick up. Some are less difficult than women with brains but that's not the issue. Dating women of average beauty helped me understand them a lot better and get comfortable through many topics of conversation, when to talk or not talk, or whatever. The more practice you get the easier this becomes until you hit that plateau of 'I don't give a crap I'm talking to this girl and she could shoot me down and it wouldn't matter' <--- this is like legendary skill status and makes your socializing with women easy. You will come across as a dude just having a chat with them rather than some desperate guy trying to pick up.

Oh and that whole messed up 'get a hold of a woman and hold on to her for life' crap?? Reality check. Most people are not together for life. Take advantage of what presents itself to you, enjoy the moment, move on. Maybe you'll find an awesome mind blowing smoking hot woman at some point in time and live happily ever after but it's not likely. Most relationships (even those where people stay together) end in disaster. As in a passionless experience which will result in you living with something like a roommate you don't want to do anything with anyway.

You're welcome.

[FlightTL]

Attractiveness has so much more to do with confidence, inner strength, charm, and a good personality than it does with anything physical. Haven't you ever seen someone extremely physically attractive, but when you talk to them the magic disappears? Or vice versa, haven't you ever met someone who by conventional standards wasn't considered "beautiful", but something about them made them almost captivating?

For proof of this, just look at celebrities. How many female celebrities out there would you find to be a total babe if they weren't famous? (This is almost even more true with male celebrities.) I think Jennifer Lawrence is stunning, for example.... But in isolation, I have friends that would probably be considered more attractive than she is based on appearances alone. But her confidence, personality, talent, and the overall way she carries herself has made her quite the Hollywood leading lady.

An even better example of this is looking back at an old Italian actress, Anna Magnani. By traditional physical standards, this woman was not attractive - yet she exuded sexuality to the point where she was the leading lady alongside Marlon Brando when he was in his prime. So it's not just phony psychobabble when people say that it's what's on the inside that counts. I'm not saying outward appearance isn't important, but an ounce of confidence is worth 100 pounds of physical beauty.

So start doing some inner work so that you can look in the mirror and like what you see instead of despise it - and maybe you'll start seeing your confidence grow. One general rule of thumb for actively doing this is this: Only speak to yourself the way you would speak to a friend or someone you truly love and care about. So if you wouldn't look at a friend (or even a stranger) and say that they have a giant ugly, bald head and that they don't deserve any happiness or love because of it, don't say it to yourself. When you catch yourself saying nasty things to yourself, imagine saying them to a person in your life who you love and care about - and more often than not that will help you realize the absurdity of whatever comment it is you're making. We tend to be much meaner to ourselves than we do the people we love.

I am a patient advocate for Dr. Parsa Mohebi in Los Angeles, CA. My opinions/comments are my own and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of Dr. Mohebi and his staff.

Point noted...thanks....

[FlightTL]

I forgot to ask you if you did end up getting the jacket? They have some nice stuff there.

Did not buy it, as Old Navy had a cheaper version of same type of jacket.

[FlightTL]

I agree try starting with less than perfect women in your eyes. You'll figure out what level you are comfortable with fairly shortly after you give whatever a try and then higher levels of women will become available.

Think of this like a video game. You must level up.

I also (being privy to some former conversations with you) am not sure you could have developed a perfectly attractive body in the short period of time you have spent at the gym. I mean you can fairly good results in 6 months if you're there for an hour or more a day and working hard, but a couple of months... Eh, and especially if you're not in moderate shape to begin with!? Probably take years.

I know for me I have always wanted the most gorgeous or women and they are of course not necessarily the easiest to pick up. Some are less difficult than women with brains but that's not the issue. Dating women of average beauty helped me understand them a lot better and get comfortable through many topics of conversation, when to talk or not talk, or whatever. The more practice you get the easier this becomes until you hit that plateau of 'I don't give a crap I'm talking to this girl and she could shoot me down and it wouldn't matter' <--- this is like legendary skill status and makes your socializing with women easy. You will come across as a dude just having a chat with them rather than some desperate guy trying to pick up.

Oh and that whole messed up 'get a hold of a woman and hold on to her for life' crap?? Reality check. Most people are not together for life. Take advantage of what presents itself to you, enjoy the moment, move on. Maybe you'll find an awesome mind blowing smoking hot woman at some point in time and live happily ever after but it's not likely. Most relationships (even those where people stay together) end in disaster. As in a passionless experience which will result in you living with something like a roommate you don't want to do anything with anyway.

You're welcome.

Appreciate it cat man.