Severely depressed

[follicallychallengedkid]

If there is anyone on this board that had to go through balding at a young age like me (I am 22), can someone please tell me how they were able to accept it? Or is it impossible to accept this horrid disease?

I have posted previously about my plan to have a HT done. Despite young age, I had done a lot of research and thought a small number of grafts could significantly improve my looks (i.e. lower hairline), but I guess I really was kidding myself. I decided to inspect my hair carefully after shower recently, and I had a shock of my life. Not only do I have a receding hairline (currently receded by about 1 inch), my entire crown and frontal area were thin. Wet hair really was able to give me a good picture of where I was heading.

If anyone had read my last post, I reported that I had seen a good result with Propecia+Minoxidil regimen – well, that was then, but I guess I am one of those horribly unfortunate people where the effect of the drug is EXTREMELY temporary. When I was about 4-5 months into my regimen, I had the best result with a fuller crown and a bit of new growth on the hairline, but that is fading off quickly and there is overall thinning all throughout.

I am severely depressed. I’m only 22, just got hired and was about to start a new chapter in life, and then this…
I haven’t slept for the past 2 days straight, just researching on this topic and educating myself that HT really isn’t for everyone. Since I’m no longer responding to Propecia and Minoxidil, and with a hairloss pattern that recently started to become more aggressive than ever, I really have no where to turn now. Just as I am writing this, a few of my hair has fallen on my desk – if you can call them hair. They are so miniaturized that they are hardly visible.

I knew I had the bald gene and accepted that – what had helped me get through each day was hope that my current regimen would allow me to at least keep what I have (not happening anymore), and the fact that I could restore my appearance by turning to HT when the time came. With that gone, I have nothing that I can hope for. At this rate, I could be well into NW5 or 6 in the next 2 years. Oh, and I have naturally fine and sparse hair, even when I was a kid. Perfect combination.

For the past few weeks, I haven’t looked myself into the mirror for longer than 2 seconds. When I catch a glimpse of myself, I feel destroyed and my heart just sinks. I have a big reunion with some school friends, and I can’t bear the throughout of showing myself like this. I thought about alternative ways – Avodart, stronger Minoxidil, or maybe even a wig. I will not risk being sterile to keep my hair, even if the probability is extremely low, and as for wigs – I won’t be fooling anyone. I’ve already received many comments about how I am balding. Turning up with a full head of hair one day would have them inspecting my hair and discovering that I am one of those “losers” that are unable to accept themselves – well I guess I am exactly that.

My so called best friend and I were outside recently and he pointed at a bald man nearby and said “are you gonna end up like that? That’s so digusting.” Digusting…

So please, can someone please help me learn how to cope with this? How am I supposed to lead a normal life when I can’t even look at myself in the mirror, let alone be seen outside without a cap? If you’ve experienced this, how did you learn to deal with it?

[iwannakeephair1674]

I'm really sorry to hear that you are going through this. I understand fully your position. I am 22 also, and have been dealing with hair loss when I first noticed it. I have been up many countless nights hoping that this disease will end, but ever since being apart of the bald truth community, I've learned that there is hope.

I am currently doing really well with my combination of Finasteride, Laser Comb, Nizoral shampoos, and PRP. I have done everything I can to stop my hairloss and I have. Remember that sometimes you will have random sheds when on Propecia, how long have you been on it? Plus I know there is a possible shed period when on Minoxidil which means it is working.

I also notice that when I am doing something about my hair loss (such as laser combing or shampooing) that I feel better and feel like I am being proactive, which helps. Lastly, I have a lot of faith in Jesus, and daily I thank him for the hair I do have and everything good in my life and to please halt my hair loss. I know that some people might call me crazy or disagree, but I believe everything good comes from him and it does help me cope with hair loss. Of course this is all personal, but it all has worked out for me.

I might also suggest to try PRP as I did. Although very new, I believe this treatment will at the very least help stop your hair loss. You could try this once and if you don't feel like it worked, you would be out of very little.

Please have hope, there is a bright future for more treatments to be available in the horizon. Don't stop fighting.


Destin

[bstilwell]

Severely depressed

You do indeed sound desperate. I know having hair is important, but that is not ALL there is in life. You are basing your entire worth on how much or how little hair you have and allowing your physical genetic trait to affect your emotional disposition. Each one of us has something to deal with - believe me!

Hopefully you have been in contact with a reputable hair replacement surgeon who is taking your concerns seriously. Results from Propecia can take months before you see the benefits. Are you not a candidate for surgery? I realize you are young, and many doctors hesitate to commit to surgery because of your youthful age. You said your friend teased you about your future of being bald...Some people don't realize how sensitive we are about different things. All I can say is, carry on and laugh along. If people judge you solely by your hair, they are shallow and not worth your time!!!

Best of luck,
B Stilwell, RN

Doctor representative for Dr. Mark Baxa
pilc.com

[heynow1234]

hey man, hang in there. Im 10 months on propecia and my hair still doesnt look great. How long have you been on it, i would say give it two years, and as i can attest to just from 10 months, there are ups and downs. Also hair my seem like a big deal now, but after u lose it or shave it off, you may find you dont care. Im 25 i have two friends in there 20s who have been bald for some time, and you know what? They each have smoking hot girlfriends, that they got after they went bald. I know it sucks, i get upset sometimes too, but just hang in there and things will get better with or without your hair. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!

[TeeJay73]

Hey FCK,

There are some excellent words of encouragement and insight here, and although they are only words, I certainly hope that they can, along with my own words, help to keep your spirits and attitude uplifted, even despite the emotionally and physically taxing experience of hair loss. We're all with you, man; this is truly a place for empathy. I know you have posted here on numerous occasions, and have read many posts, so you're aware that no one here is going to tell you to "get over it" or to "stop being so vain". What we can do is help give you the support and tools needed to get past this disease, whether it is the form of acceptance (I know that it hard to read) if your hair loss wins in your battle against it, or the continuance of some path of medical treatment or cosmetic treatment.

I noticed you are 22 years old. And, I know the last thing you may want to hear is how young you are. So, bear with me in saying that you are indeed very young. I am 36, and from my own personal struggles with hair loss for 10 years now, I can tell you for a fact that as your life progresses, what is important to you (yes, including hair) will change. When I was in my 20s, I wanted everything, including the same youthful hair I have always had. I started to lose my hair when I was about 25, and compounded with the fact that I am a substantially short male (only 5'1"), you can imagine that my devastation was severe. I had no interest -- NONE -- in being a short bald guy. I immediately had a hair transplant surgery (big mistake, I was led down this path by a large awful clinic -- Bosley!), and I have had 2 more since then (fortunately from IAHRS doctors). But even with 5,000 grafts to date, I'll never have the same hair I had as a teen/early 20 year old. It's very clear that I have lost hair, even with my quality hair transplants.

But now that I am well into my 30s, I have realized a solid change in my mindset. Today my attitude is no longer "I want everything", instead it is this: "If I haven't all the things I want, I am grateful for things I don't have that I wouldn't want". No matter how hard that may seem to swallow, I promise you'll feel the same way, or some similar way, as you age and as your mind ages along with you, and as the other avenues of your life begin to skyrocket, like your career. Hair loss, though painful, will begin to subside in light of the other dimensions of your life.

I have always equated hair loss to a swift, elongated kick in the nuts. And it seems you are feeling it, hard. Even if you are down for the count against the medications, don't give up yet; it sounds as though you still have hair worth fighting for. FIGHT! Also, don't discard the other potential avenues of treatment. There is nothing wrong with a hair system, if you choose to try this route. WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK? This is about making yourself feel good; not about others. A hair system does NOT mean you have to replenish 100% of your hair; you could wear a system that replenishes some degree of your hair, but integrates well with your hair loss pattern naturally, in the same way that a hair tranplant has it limitations. My hair transplants only replenish some degree of hair, of course, so I look like I have some coverage, but it is clear I have had some hair loss as well. Have you tried cosmetic concealers, such as Toppik or Dermatch? Together with the continuance of medications, you may be able to conceal your hair loss. And, as you get older, 30s, 40s, etc., depending on how you feel and your state of emotions related to your hair, you will always have hair transplant surgery as an option. Have you seen some the results that clinics such as Hasson & Wong have created? They seem to do so much with so little, so, even if you are concerned with limited donor hair, some moderate coverage may be very attainable, and when you hit your 30s/40s, you'll probably be very content with some coverage. And who knows? Maybe we'll see the magic bullet cure in our lifetime.

No matter what I say, or anyone, though, we can't erase your current emotional landscape, especially as a young man. But keep fighting, stay proactive, and try to focus your mindshare on your new chapter of life, your career, and your happiness, and everything will fall into place; hair or no hair. You are not alone! Hair loss is not worth putting your life on hold. **** hair loss. Realize that people that tease you about it, or make openly cruel jokes, have their own pains that they too are dealing with, if not hair loss, but that you're too good of a man to lash back at them. Instead vent out against hair loss as often as you need, and rid yourself of the harmful attitude toxins that it taints us with, so you can live what you deserve -- an enjoyable, peaceful, successful life.

And hey, something that helps me is tuning into The Bald Truth radio show every week. It's such a comfortable, empathetic community for hair loss sufferers, the only one I have ever found that tells it like it is. Why not tune in (you can tune in via the Internet)? Maybe even call in. My whole attitude about hair loss has radically changed since I have found the radio show, and even though I am still bothered by my hair loss, I find myself so much more at ease with it.

Keep your spirits up, brother. We're always here when you need us.

TeeJay

[Buckerine11]

Hey man, I know EXACTLY how you feel. I'm 23, and I've been losing my hair for the past 2 years. And everything you just said applies to me, also. I know that feeling where you want to avoid every mirror in the world, and when you do actually get a glimpse of yourself, the only thing you see is your hair. And don't get me started about seeing people that you haven't seen in awhile. Holiday time is the worst for me. All the friends and family members that haven't seen me in a year or two just tell me I look different - more mature. And that was last year. This year, my hairline is even worse, and there's almost no way I can hide it anymore.

I actually hit an emotional low last winter. I didn't want to see anyone, and I didn't want to anyone to see me. I stayed holed up in my apartment for days at a time. I didn't even want to live. It was the one time in my life where I felt like life wasn't worth it anymore - that death could have made everything better. Luckily for me, I didn't go further than superficial thoughts of that kind. I forgot how I got out of my funk, but it slowly began to improve. Don't get me wrong, I still am terribly affected by my hair loss, but I can hope that the worst of it is behind me.

And despite all the excellent advice from hairloss veterans here, I still can't shrug off the pain that I feel on a daily basis. I KNOW how to go about thinking about hairloss. But, I just can't actualize it. I guess it's just a process that everyone has to go through. There are no shortcuts, and we simply have to let time do its job and allow us to cope.

[follicallychallengedkid]

Thank you

Thank you guys for the great replies. It's embarrassing to admit as a grown man, but reading your words of encouragement brought tears... I really hope the society is easier on us. Even my family members make harsh comments about my hair (my sister didn't want me near her workplace in case her coworkers see how she's got a "balding loser brother"), and my friends are not afraid to crack bald jokes whenever I forget to hide my bald spot. I guess it's human nature. I am the only one in my social circle with any balding, so I guess I do stick out like a sore thumb.

To address some questions about my regimen, it's been nearly 13 months since I've started taking Propecia and Minox (5% twice daily). I was ecstatic and so thankful that I was responding so well - by my 4th month, I had quite a noticeable regrowth, but I've lost ground again and now worse than before starting the above treatments. For the past few months, I've been doing nothing except studying constantly for an important examination as part of my new job, so I stopped going to the gym as well (I was an avid runner). Who knows, maybe that also played a part.

While no words will ever make me feel the same about myself before hairloss, I'm grateful that there is a place where I can just be completely honest about how I feel and receive support that not even my family or best friends will give.

Hair is our second biggest organ, and losing it is so apparent externally that the emotional trauma is something that non-balding people find hard to understand. And because it's gradual, it only gets worse and worse. How would people feel if a part of their body gradually disfigured and they couldn't hide it?

[Layercake]

Your friends and family sound like complete dicks, shallow and worthless individuals every one of them...... and sorry to hear that man. I'm 20 and dealing with this shit, so I know how depressing and soul destroying it can be. But at the end of the day it's just hair. I like to believe that something as minor and common as hair-loss isn't enough to drastically affect my life. Happiness comes from within ect ect. Also at least we're not crippled, or burned.

I find perspective helps.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Model-Katie-Piper-Reveals-Her-Plight-At-Acid-Attack-Injuries-To-Her-Face/Article/200910315408548?f=rss

Life is good.

Peace
Layercake

P.S. if my sister pulled that with me I'd take clippers to her, a nice bald stripe down the middle would shut her shallow ass up. but that's just me, and I'm pretty immature.

[Buckerine11]

Your friends and family sound like complete dicks, shallow and worthless individuals every one of them...... and sorry to hear that man. I'm 20 and dealing with this shit, so I know how depressing and soul destroying it can be. But at the end of the day it's just hair. I like to believe that something as minor and common as hair-loss isn't enough to drastically affect my life. Happiness comes from within ect ect. Also at least we're not crippled, or burned.

I find perspective helps.

http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/UK-News/Model-Katie-Piper-Reveals-Her-Plight-At-Acid-Attack-Injuries-To-Her-Face/Article/200910315408548?f=rss

Life is good.

Peace
Layercake

P.S. if my sister pulled that with me I'd take clippers to her, a nice bald stripe down the middle would shut her shallow ass up. but that's just me, and I'm pretty immature.

Jesus Christ... that is going to make me depressed for awhile. Life in prison is too good for those two pieces of shit. I seriously think that if someone does this type of thing, it should be an automatic death sentence.

[smileyface19]

I'm also in a similar situation with propecia and minoxidil 5%. weird. I'm 19 and feel your pain too. That's really shitty with your sister dude. I wonder if Darwin was inspired to write "On the Origin of Species" because of his hair loss. I just watched a documentary on him and he was completely bald by 20.

[Delphi]

The one thing that I have learned from being a part of this community and from listening to Spencer Kobren is that we can all get through this. I read as much as I can on the internet including all of the blogs and forums and this is the most caring, friendly community there is. The one blog that I read alot is a doctors who has good knowledge but it is very cold and uncaring. While coming here or listening to Kobren’s show does not make me completely forget about my hair, it helps me cope and that means alot to me.
You’ll be okay, and will eventually find your best way to cope. One thing I would tell you is to not hide away from life. Call Kobren, talk to him about what you are feeling, he has a way of putting things into perspective that almost makes you feel better about being a part of all of this. I now that sounds crazy, but it’s true, it’s almost like hypnotherapy or something. I would tell your sister to go screw herself too!

[geminidb8]

It will get easier but...

I know the pain and torment that baldness can cause. At 19 years of age and just starting college I was losing my hair. My father owned a business and all of his workers made fun of me and I was humiliated. I am now 44 years of age and have been botched by Doctors in the 1980's. I wore hairpieces from age 28 to 42. I have been undergoing successful corrective surgery by Dr Ray Woods in Australia. He is the only Dr. that has helped me. It will get easier for you but I must warn you that the scars that baldness causes are for a lifetime. I feel better now at 44 since Dr Woods has been helping me than I did at 20. However I lost all of my youth going through this. Psychologists did not really help, the Dr's MHR, Brandy, & NU Hart nearly ruined me. For 25 years now I have thought 24 hours a day about my hair. It will get better for you but being brutally honest it will leave a scar psychologically forever. My own father was 57 when he started wearing a hairpiece. I also have heard of people in their 80's having transplants. Hang in there though and do not give up. One last thing. The employees that laughed at me in 1984- My father sold the business - They lost their jobs and I got the money and invested in stocks and am now mostly retired at 44. It is Karma- What comes around goes around. Those people who laughed at you will have their turn to cry too. Believe it!!

[iwannakeephair1674]

geminidb8,

your story really touched me. I can't express how sorry I felt that you had to undergo 25 years of nonstop torment. I think I know that feeling you are going through. I remember when I first started losing my hair (a little over 2 years ago) and although it wasn't that bad or severely noticeable, I knew it was happening.

I couldn't believe the reality of it, and when I found a random forum online and it said there was no hope, I was devastated. I thought about nothing but hair loss and felt like I was going to lose my youth. That me being once a really attractive person will now completely change. That is the feeling I was facing, and I couldn't imagine that going on for the rest of my life.

But.... thank God I found hope and got on Finasteride and have stayed completely proactive about hairloss and do whatever it takes to get help. Thank God for good doctors and new innovative treatments that has helped me keep my hair. I only wish that you would have had that opportunity to stop your hairloss and then not grow up during the "plug" age.

Also, I do see some good in your situation. Even though you went through this terrible pain, I feel God has blessed you beyond measures. You have your hair back and you will have that appreciation, fulfillment, and reassurance of living with your real hair for the rest of your life that you would have never had if you didn't go through this hell. Sometimes going through something horrible makes you appreciate how valuable that thing is.

44 is not old and you said you seem to be well off. I say make these next 25 years fulfilling and enjoy your life to the fullest. Thank you for sharing your story and helping me appreciate more the opportunities I have today.

Destin

[geminidb8]

Thanks for the Kind & Positive Advice

Hi Destin: I wish to thank you for your kind thoughts. I could not have said it better myself. I agree life is getting better each day. I too am on Propecia and it has really helped along with the corrective surgery. I hope for you and all hair loss sufferers that science and medical improvements continue and that God gives peace to all who suffer from the severe psychological issues with hair loss. Thanks again, Good luck and keep up the faith.

[Layercake]

Faith? i prefer inner-strength, god is doing the smiting in this case, definitely not the healing lol. he smote me real good, in fact hes smiting the hair right off my head. though science may bring me back from this nightmare.