Girlfriend dumped me this Thursday... For a guy with a full head of hair

[Jasari]

There used to be this girl I liked. One day, we were talking together about some random stuff when suddenly baldness (not related to me) came up. She didn't knew I was balding (it wasn't really noticable yet), so I got her uncensored opinion on bald men. She thought bald men were scary.

When I was younger I used to take everything girls said for gospel. As I got older I realised that often times girls said one thing only to contradict themselves with their actions not long after.

As an example; About 4 years ago [Before my first HT] I was on holiday in Prague. At this time I was a Norwood 4a [Fortunately this style of hair-loss while advanced is limited to the front] and with a lot of styling & hopefully a lack of wind I was able to conceal it with a kind of terrible Bieber-ish fringe.

Long story short me & a few friends booked in to do a pub crawl through the city. Now earlier that day I had lost a big chunk of money & was in a terrible mood. I was pretty much going out to get trashed. Anyway we get to the first bar & within minutes meet a group of around 5 20 year old American girls [Surprisingly not drinking - I guess they took the American 21 year age limit seriously].

A few drinks go by and they notice my mate is wearing at hat. Obviously they get curious and ask whether he's bald [Because of course only bald guys wear caps lol]. Now my friend has a full thick head of Norwood 1 hair. He takes off his hat & the girls tell him how much better he looks.

At this point I was rather curious. I've seemingly managed to conceal my hair loss to these girls so I asked them: Why do you care if he's bald? Universally they turn to me & say 'being bald is a deal breaker'.

Now I looked at all these girls & two were stunners. The other three weren't winning any modelling contracts lol. I probed a little further and got virtually the same response. I was crushed. For the next 45 minutes of the 'happy hour' I downed about 6 pints.

A bell rang [Which indicates it's time to head out to the next bar & I was off. The moment I went outside a big gust of wind hit & ruined my hair. Fortunately I was drunk enough to not give a ****].

I spent the duration of the next pub stop talking to a range of European girls. I can't remember much but I know I had fun.

Anyway: Around two hours later I'd sobered up and made it to the final stop. A 5 story nightclub on Karlovy Lane. Terrible pace to be honest. I make my way up to the fifth floor & bump into the prettiest of the American girls. She stops looks at me & goes 'Wow, you're really bald". Now if I was stone cold sober I would have probably said something offensive & walked away, but I was still drunk enough not to care. I smiled, looked her dead in the eyes and said 'So what?'.

Within about 20 minutes we were making out on the dance floor. I said to her "I thought being bald was a deal breaker". She shrugged. We got together a few more times over the next few days before leaving for our subsequent destinations.

This moment however has always stuck with me. It was the first time I realised that you can't take everything a girl says seriously. Since then, I've witnessed countless events where a girls actions contradict her words.

TLDR: Girls are fickle. Don't take what they say to heart [As hard as that might be].

[fred970]

Thank you for that story Jasari! It proves what I've been thinking lately is true.

Girls do not hate bald men. They could be turned on by a bald guy, they could be seduced by one, it doesn't change much in the end even if your appearance takes a turn for the worst.

It's the media, the movies, the TV shows, our culture that these girls will eat up without thinking that tells them and convince them that bald men are not to be considered for a relationship or fling.

It's the same with height: girls will say "no he must be tall" without giving it much thought. Why? It's just culturally accepted, but the girl could very well go out with a guy shorter than her and be aroused and happy.

Girls are so easily influenced by their environment unfortunately.

[baldozer]

Thank you for that story Jasari! It proves what I've been thinking lately is true.

Girls do not hate bald men. They could be turned on by a bald guy, they could be seduced by one, it doesn't change much in the end even if your appearance takes a turn for the worst.

It's the media, the movies, the TV shows, our culture that these girls will eat up without thinking that tells them and convince them that bald men are not to be considered for a relationship or fling.

It's the same with height: girls will say "no he must be tall" without giving it much thought. Why? It's just culturally accepted, but the girl could very well go out with a guy shorter than her and be aroused and happy.

Girls are so easily influenced by their environment unfortunately.

That is true. There was even one research paper (I can't remember which) which said that girls are most attracted to men with average height. However, the media constantly bombard us with the logic that tall men are the most attractive.

[gainspotter]

Women are only good for 3 things.

Cooking
Cleaning
Vaginas

[Munkynutz]

Funny thread this. But has many valid points.

A lot of how well you do with women is how you percieve yourself. I am for the record an NW3 with fairly serious temple recession (think Jude Law before he lost a lot more hair) and have never liked my hairline. It became an issue for me in late high school when I finally noticed it. Looking back at pics it was this way since I was about 17.

I worried about it consistently until I had a steady gf and even then it bothered me but I stopped thinking about it daily. When we broke up I had other issues like psoriasis which I felt were far more detrimental to my success with women than hair, and I'm probably wrong about both. The girls who don't like me probably wouldn't with or without either hair or red flakey skin, the other girls do with or without.

I'm one of those absurd people who thinks bald headed men look good. Don't ask me why but I have always enjoyed and somewhat envied the shaven head. I'm clipped to probably about a 10 on top now and a 0-2 everywhere else including facial hair and quite frankly it looks better with 4cm on top and the sides kept as short as they are now. But I have a feeling I won't be able to keep this look forever.

[Munkynutz]

Oops I posted before I was done by mistake... Excuse me.

So anyway, I have not shaved my head completely because there are a few visible red patches of BS psoriasis which I want to go away first (diet does this) and then I am going to try out the look for myself. Heres to hoping I like the look on my head as much as on other people's.

I have a script for propecia I haven't touched yet. Not super worried about the sides because auite frankly I know too many people who have used it with no ill effects. Yes there are people who can't take it and those sides can be very real but I do believe the majority of people are fine with it.

Minoxidil makes me scalp insane and I can't handle it although I am told the foam is better.

Now: regarding hair transplants themselves. I would not entertain the idea of FUT I just don't want the linear scar. I know Fred has had amazing results I his donor area but not everyone is so fortunate and the idea of having a pile of raised scar bumps on the back of my head is less appealing than using a razor. Also I believe we all continue to lose hair all our lives (with the exception of a few people like my Grandfather who somehow has a NW1 and the same hair line he had at 18, thick and full - yes I am jealous), so the idea of an HT for me would be to give the illusion of hair but not grow it long. Which means I really don't want scars. Also as we age the grey hair thing, weaker hair structure, and especially for Caucasians the general limpness of our hair just doesn't go well with age - so I really want the possibility of a full on shave any time I feel like it.

I mean look around you at people in their 40's, 50's and beyond. A few have awesome hair. Most do not. And if you don't have awesome hair and look good shaved then.... What are you waiting for?

As far as women go I have two on the go at the moment. Both very different, one is a very hot black girl with small boobs, the other a decent looking white girl with huge ones (hahaha), and both know I don't like my hair and want to shave it.

The one read a of about it and decided she was okay with it, the other was like 'don't tell me you're going bald' but loves the clipped down look. I honestly think she is more impressed by the width of my shoulders (which I did nothing to earn) than what grows on my head.

All I know is every girl I have talked to is firmly of the opinion shaved > than weak thinning hair or a comb over. And most prefer a full head of hair (this is a youth and vitality thing ingrained in mellenia of evolution no doubt) but are far less worried about our hair than we are.

As for bald/balding dudes I work with many, and many of them do far better with women than guys with full heads of hair maybe because they have had to overcome this serious insecurity, or are more outgoing, or whatever.

But of those guys the best are the ones with shaved heads. The thinning patchy hair totally looks sickly.

[Munkynutz]

Oh right I forgot to mention I made a trip to see Dr Rahal at his clinic here in Ottawa and the two guys who did my assessment prior to my meeting with the good doctor were FUT veterans of his work.

I wouldn't have guessed looking at either man that they had hair work done. Amazing looking hairlines and both had temporal work done.

I was told 2000-2500 graphs, approximately 20,000 CAD for FUE which is fine with me but still can't bring myself to risk the scarring. I'll continue to evaluate this possibility though and may ask to meet a few of the former vets who have had FUE to see exactly how this looks.

Yes, I know I Fred it looks just awesome.

Apparently punch sizes vary greatly from 1mm down to .6 or something depending on the follicle being extracted. Kind of wondering if it's worth leaving the 1mm lunch alone and foregoing 4 hair clusters in favour of less tissue damage.

[hairyandthehendersons]

Good riddance bro!! She is going to regret it and come crawling back and hopefully you are smart enough to tell her to get lost. I have bad hairloss and finding good looking woman to date has never been a problem. I am looking for a HT but its for me to feel good about what I see in the mirror. You will have no problem finding a lady. Pick one that isnt a b*tch though next time. Pretty much every guy is going to lose their hair at some point so she is going to really be dissapointed at some point when reality kicks in. And most women age pretty poorly down the line so there is way more to finding a mate than looks

[hairyandthehendersons]

Oh and if your worried that it is an age thing thats not an issue either. Im 36 and recently was dating a girl that was 23 and did modeling. not trying to brag but maybe it will give you perspective and boost your confidence. when it comes down to it, just find a girl that loves you for you.

[Follicle Island]

Pretty much every guy is going to lose their hair at some point

Most men don't lose their hair until later on in life (35+) so it really puts us younger guys (18-35) at a huge disadvantage.

[hairyandthehendersons]

Most men don't lose their hair until later on in life (35+) so it really puts us younger guys (18-35) at a huge disadvantage.

Dude, you gotta change the way you think. Work out and make your self look as well as you can. But your attitude and how you carry yourself go a long way. I don't date girls my age...I moved back east from SoCal and the ones my age have kids, overweight, and not active. Usually they are 5-10yrs younger than me and very active. Seriously, don't let the hair thing mess with you that badly! I want more hair, cant lie, but its not the huge issue you guys make it out to be. It probably bothered me much more when I was younger too, and therefore never approached the "hot" girl. Now that I'm older, i dont let it bother me as much. I do hate looking in the mirror every morning and seeing someone that looks older than i feel.
Good luck to you!

[Notcoolanymore]

In my opinion, balding isn't the end of the world like many make it seem, but is isn't totally irrelevant either. I would be the first to say that for most people hair loss will have a negative impact on their looks. But I truly believe that it isn't a death sentence. You don't have to live a life of poverty, or exclusively date undesirable women. Will hair loss exclude you from dating certain people or getting jobs? Yes it certainly can, but it will not always be the case. I have seen many bald/balding guys achieving financial success, or dating hot women. It really isn't that uncommon at all.

Too many guys around here want to use hair loss as a way to just give up on life, because that is the easy thing to do. We have a built in excuse to blame all of our failures on. It is much harder to step up and improve ourselves then it is just to say "if I had all my hair(which more than likely will never be an option) then everything would be perfect". I have seen men complaining countless times about not getting women or jobs. Then you ask them about education or exercising and they respond "I am too depressed to work out or find a better job".

[fred970]

Dude, you gotta change the way you think. Work out and make your self look as well as you can.

Why should we have to do that as bald or balding men? NW1 don't have to work out, they can just be slobs and women will like them that way.

Not everyone wants to get into bodybuilding. Ask yourself this question. If baldness isn't such a big deal, then why we have to compensate for it by working out?

[baldozer]

Why should we have to do that as bald or balding men? NW1 don't have to work out, they can just be slobs and women will like them that way.

Not everyone wants to get into bodybuilding. Ask yourself this question. If baldness isn't such a big deal, then why we have to compensate for it by working out?

Aren't you overrating hair? I mean, hair only helps when you are already good looking. If you are ugly, hair won't make you look better. I have seen plenty of ugly NW1s. Examples of famous ugly NW1s would be Diego Maradonna and George Lucas.

[35YrsAfter]

Aren't you overrating hair? I mean, hair only helps when you are already good looking. If you are ugly, hair won't make you look better. I have seen plenty of ugly NW1s. Examples of famous ugly NW1s would be Diego Maradonna and George Lucas.

Lucas has a really low hairline. Never really noticed that before. My wife and I saw the final Hobbit film last night. Quite an interesting collection of dwarf hair and hair styles. One looks to be a modified Norwood 7 with tattoos all over his head.

Chuck