Young and Balding - from a negative situation to a positive approach

[Alex88]

hello everyone - i'm fairly new to this board and i posted my introduction/situation here (entitled "26,first operation and going for a MOHAWK transplant ! ", anyone with a good advice regarding doctors etc please drop me a line!)

anyway,
i just wanna share with you bros my personal experience - first off,i never actually had a "normal" head shape,let alone normal hair and dandruff - like most of us here, shaving alone is a problem but i wanna give you all (especially to the youngest among us) a big trick to what concern coping with hairloss. no wigs,no hats,no drugs without/with few sucky results and alot of sides....

the first step - learn to not give a shit about your hair loss.

it's a stupid sickness who feeds up,among other things,on anger and frustration (= stress is a cancer for our whole bodies,even more for the hair) and the more you get fed up the more the bastard ignite the reaction that destroys the follicles.
so : don't give a **** about it. unless you got visible scars you should be perfectly able to shave yourself clean and use your day for something else...Be confident with yourself and good things will follow,be unsure about yourself and nothing will come your way...just more and more stress. Be active and see the thing in another perspective : you will overcome this shit and you got the time to fix it if you got the intelligence to do so - which leads to step two.

step two - focus on what you have and not what you don't .

Guess what? i'm an extremely rational kind of person and i thought, well - i have to catch two birds with one rock - i have plenty of TIME to use for searching a solution to my problem or pretty much waste it daydreaming on how good i'd look with hair,etc. etc. .... we all do that constantly,and it takes way too much time. I/you have few hair? So what? it's your choice to sit down and moan about it forever until you'll have zero hair or just accept ONLY for now your situation. Keep doing gym,keep working hard and keep on having fun .... more endorphines means less stress and less stress means less possibilities to having hair loss spreading around your head. Eat and play with your bros,**** the hair - your mind and your convinction is your own good medicine. Think you got em and you're halfway out of the problem.

step three - rationalize your situation
I dont have many hair right now,but when i was younger (16 years old) i had long hair - magnificent long silk and thick looking black hair. I was pretty proud of it, and for some reasons (genetics,depression,and yes,i did drugs) i lost them : compared to what i passed anyway,losing hair is a little matter - Of course,i'd like to have them back but i'm not even sure if my idea of a mohawk transplant will work - see - i don't have much hair left in my donor area and my male pattern baldness is eating the remnants of what i have.
So what i can do ? Nothing more to what i want,nothing less than what i want. I'll try to achieve what i want and THEN i'll throw in the towel,but until then,i'll focus on other stuff because,hell,hair are important for our self image but i know for a fact that everyone have their own projects,dreams and goals in life.
We're always too young for this shit when it happens,but i sure don't wanna get old and keep on regretting what i didn't do when i had the chance because of "hairloss". Thats just stupid.

Don't waste your time daydreaming. be strong,**** hairloss.be realistic,**** hairloss.be active and **** hairloss. Be strong,**** hairloss.

this is pretty much the summary of what i did for coping with alopecia related stress
=) hope it helps!

[balding1983]

Awesome post!

[FlightTL]

Good luck!

[Alex88]

thanks bros glad it helps

[HairIsLife]

This post isn't even worth reading. It's just another load of optimistic baloney that encourages us all to shave our heads and be confident. Like we all haven't heard it all before.

[baldozer]

This post isn't even worth reading. It's just another load of optimistic baloney that encourages us all to shave our heads and be confident. Like we all haven't heard it all before.

Better be bald and masculine than shoving feminizing drugs into your body, with side effects such as insomnia, wide hips, manboobs and erectile dysfunction.

[Alex88]

@HairIsLife if you dont like it and dont find it useful then dont read it....as simple as that.
maybe if I wrote about how horrible it is to be bald and I had complained more you would have liked more the post .... but the fact is that you didnt even read this to the end. I said to accept things as they are for now and try to be active / realistic....

@baldozer yep,simple as that

[OrdinaryUser]

To be fair, this post should not masquerade as anything but encouragement for those who are a lost cause with regards to hair loss. And there's nothing wrong with that.

It's picking your battles, really. Baldness is inherently a condition with no possible win. Therefore it is entirely a reasonable approach to just not give a shit about it, and resign in this truth that you will go bald, and there's nothing that can be done about it. You surely can retard its progress with present treatments, but be sure and realize that it will be back in 5 years or so to jeer and show its ugly little head to you again. It's a fact of the nature of this life, that things are certainly bound to falter and decay without your consent again and again, and instead of trying to scale a mountain whose height is infinite and intractable, it is better to just accept the gravity that pulls you down. It's fine to be down, don't let anyone persuade you otherwise.

[HairIsLife]

@HairIsLife if you dont like it and dont find it useful then dont read it....as simple as that.
maybe if I wrote about how horrible it is to be bald and I had complained more you would have liked more the post .... but the fact is that you didnt even read this to the end. I said to accept things as they are for now and try to be active / realistic....

You'll be relived to hear that I only skimmed through it quickly as it registered in my brain as another overly optimistic post that holds no water. How can you be confident when you look like shit ? There's a handful of things that every human should be allowed to keep regardless of circumstances and that my friend, is your identity. I don't want to wake up every morning and look at someone else in the mirror. It's a sickening feeling when I know that I'll never look good again, won't attract the women that I could have, been as confident and happy as I could have with a full head of hair. So no, I'm not just going to "shave my head and be confident", I'll be as miserable as I want to until we finally get some attention.

[OrdinaryUser]

You'll be relived to hear that I only skimmed through it quickly as it registered in my brain as another overly optimistic post that holds no water. How can you be confident when you look like shit ? There's a handful of things that every human should be allowed to keep regardless of circumstances and that my friend, is your identity. I don't want to wake up every morning and look at someone else in the mirror. It's a sickening feeling when I know that I'll never look good again, won't attract the women that I could have, been as confident and happy as I could have with a full head of hair. So no, I'm not just going to "shave my head and be confident", I'll be as miserable as I want to until we finally get some attention.

Your perception and attitude map to valuations of the distinct circumstances in your life. When you place emphasis and too much value on hair, and it becomes, essentially, a function of your self-esteem and worth, well, your attitude isn't all that surprising then. It's either adopting a better attitude of how you look without hair (everyone thinks they look worse than they do), or you can remain miserable and bald, which is not so flattering in itself. But it is an eventuality that you will become bald either way. This is just a property of existing in this kind of universe: we're all set to decay in appearance. Hair and beauty are ephemeral, go take up things that have more lasting value.

[Alex88]

@HairIsLife - i'm confident because i dont give a shit about people and people opinion in general. It's a question of logic - you cannot predict what people will think of you,find you horrible/sexy /wahteverthe****youwant regardless of hairloss or not in most cases.People think what they want and you don't know WHAT they think. It's true that if you dont have general normal traits you'll have other results trying to socialize - same goes for a fat person,a disabled person or whatever.And yes,IT SUCKS but if you keep on being miserable what you get? So again i dont care and i stay confident because if you dont try something you'll have NOTHING in return but even more stress and paranoia....because you held yourself back because of "hairloss".

[OrdinaryUser]

@HairIsLife - i'm confident because i dont give a shit about people and people opinion in general. It's a question of logic - you cannot predict what people will think of you,find you horrible/sexy /wahteverthe****youwant regardless of hairloss or not in most cases.People think what they want and you don't know WHAT they think. It's true that if you dont have general normal traits you'll have other results trying to socialize - same goes for a fat person,a disabled person or whatever.And yes,IT SUCKS but if you keep on being miserable what you get? So again i dont care and i stay confident because if you dont try something you'll have NOTHING in return but even more stress and paranoia....because you held yourself back because of "hairloss".

Dude, you need to work on your grammar. I expect more from someone with Schopenhauer as their avatar.

[Alex88]

**** I know but I'm drunk

[baldozer]

You'll be relived to hear that I only skimmed through it quickly as it registered in my brain as another overly optimistic post that holds no water. How can you be confident when you look like shit ? There's a handful of things that every human should be allowed to keep regardless of circumstances and that my friend, is your identity. I don't want to wake up every morning and look at someone else in the mirror. It's a sickening feeling when I know that I'll never look good again, won't attract the women that I could have, been as confident and happy as I could have with a full head of hair. So no, I'm not just going to "shave my head and be confident", I'll be as miserable as I want to until we finally get some attention.

Why do you assume that every bald man looks ugly. I'm bald, but I don't think I look ugly. I look far more masculine and intimidating with a bald head than I looked with hair. As a man, looking masculine and intimidating is more important than looking pretty.

What do you think about this guy, he is bald but not ugly IMO. Even if he were a NW7 bald, he would still look great. Good looking men would always look good, regardless of how much hair they have on their head. Its only the ugly ones, who need a lot of hair to hide their facial flaws. You seem to fall in that category, because you are so obsessed with your hair.

[Jazz1]

**** I know but I'm drunk

Snap.