It's only as bad as YOU make it

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  • DeuceWillis
    Member
    • Feb 2014
    • 75

    It's only as bad as YOU make it

    Hey guys just thought I would come share a positive story with you all since most of the content of this site is just down right depressing. I am 23, probably a NW4-5 on the scale, completely shaved for the past 10 months. For the most part I've come to terms with this whole hair loss thing. From the age of 20 I noticed I was receding pretty badly, and by 21-22 I was severely thin. Other people told me it didn't look bad, but I didn't agree. I hated it. Finally got sick of worrying with it and seeing hair fall out literally right in my face, and shaved that shit to the bone. It took me a while but I finally got up the nerve to show my friends and family. Reactions weren't nearly as bad as I expected, to my surprise no one gave a shit. A couple friends made some comments, but I just talked shit right back about them. My girlfriend loves the look and loves rubbing my head after a fresh shave so that's a huge plus, and definitely makes getting on with my life a lot easier. I still wear hats a lot, but I always have even when I had a thick full head of hair. So a lot of people know I shave, but some I come in contact with don't know bc I always wear hats. Well anyway, this past weekend I was the best man in my friends wedding. I've known for a while that I wouldn't be able to wear a hat and for a few hours I would be bald for all the world to see. It was kinda nerve racking thinking about it, but I convinced myself that I wasn't going to give a shit what anyone thought and I was just going to carry on like I normally do. A friend of mine who's never seen me shaved without a hat greeted me and complimented the look an said I was rocking it. I had two female friends (who are at least 9's if not 10's) go out of their way to approach me and say how good I was looking,with both my attire and my new "hair style". At the end of the night I was sitting in my friends truck getting ready to leave, when I was approached again by a friend of mine and his wife telling me it was good seeing each other and catching up. Right before he left he turned back an said "oh yeah bro, I like the shaved head, keep doing that" and his wife agreed. I guess the point of this is to help anyone on the fence of just accepting hair loss and shaving that dome. I worried an worried about what people would think, until I told myself "fu*k it" who cares what they think. And no one had anything but great shit to say to me about it. Its all what you make of it my friends, just like anything else in life. -take it easy fellas, DeuceWillis
  • jksl
    Junior Member
    • Jun 2013
    • 12

    #2
    How shaved is it? Did you Bic it?

    Comment

    • DeuceWillis
      Member
      • Feb 2014
      • 75

      #3
      All the way down man, with a schick hydro.

      Comment

      • Sammygirl
        Member
        • Jul 2014
        • 34

        #4
        Glad you posted this. It is so refreshing to read about someone who has turned their situation into a positive. You are so right about accepting your loss for what it is. Coming to terms with my loss was one of the best things I have done for myself. You new do has really given you a new self-confidence. It really is working for you.

        Comment

        • Illusion
          Senior Member
          • Jul 2014
          • 500

          #5
          "And no one had anything but great shit to say to me about it."

          I'm happy for you that you're rocking a bald head, I really am. But I can't help but feel that this post is more of 'a bald look suited me better than I initially thought' kind of story rather than the acceptance of your balding. What if, at your friends wedding, you got a bunch of frowned faces, weird stares and awkward looks your way? What if those two hot 9's/10's or your friends wife or w/e hadn't complement you on your style? Would you have made the same post?

          I'm sorry if I'm coming off as rather negative and again, I'm happy for you that it turned out this way. I agree that positivity is pretty rare on this site (which is somewhat logical I guess, assuming that people having dealt with their hair loss / people who are having a lot of succes with fin or anything else wouldn't be on this site). And you're right: it's only as bad as you make it. But you're story isn't really an example of "it's only as bad as you make it" . You probably just had the luck that being bald suited you.

          That having said, I can see how acceptance is a lot better than trying to maintain your hair. But it's not that easy I guess. I discovered that I'm balding a couple of months ago and all I'm doing nowadays is searching on forums for solutions. I would love to accept it, but given my current state I can't see myself accepting my balding anytime soon. With every hair that falls out, I get more frustrated and my future gets a bit 'darker'. I reckon it's the same for many men on here. I used to be excited about growing up and doing fun things when I was older. Right now I don't even want to get older than 20 because I'm afraid of what I will look like when I will be that age.

          Damn, I kind of hijacked this thread, that was not the purpose of this post. I just wanted to show how I think about acceptance and that it seems pretty hard to me to accept baldness. But yeah, acceptance > maintaining your hairline, I guess



          (in b4 "it's not the looks that attract girls, it's the confidence")

          Comment

          • fred970
            Senior Member
            • Nov 2009
            • 924

            #6
            It's only as bad as it appears. Society and women will make sure that you understand how bad it is.

            That said, I'm glad you found a way to cope with this.

            Comment

            • Notcoolanymore
              Senior Member
              • Jun 2013
              • 2260

              #7
              Girls, employers, and society don't care about your looks, they care about your confidence.

              Comment

              • jksl
                Junior Member
                • Jun 2013
                • 12

                #8
                Originally posted by Notcoolanymore
                Girls, employers, and society don't care about your looks, they care about your confidence.
                Confidence won't save you from prejudgement from a lot of these people.

                Comment

                • Illusion
                  Senior Member
                  • Jul 2014
                  • 500

                  #9
                  Originally posted by Notcoolanymore
                  Girls, employers, and society don't care about your looks, they care about your confidence.
                  Like I said earlier:

                  Originally posted by Illusion
                  (in b4 "it's not the looks that attract girls, it's the confidence")
                  JKSL is right, it won't really save you from prejudgement from a lot of these people. Maybe this is a little bit overreacted but it is the picture I have in my mind nowadays

                  Comment

                  • Notcoolanymore
                    Senior Member
                    • Jun 2013
                    • 2260

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Illusion
                    (in b4 "it's not the looks that attract girls, it's the confidence")
                    I was actually just messing around because you wrote this.

                    Comment

                    • 35YrsAfter
                      Doctor Representative
                      • Aug 2012
                      • 1421

                      #11
                      Positive attitude, style, posture, self confidence, and class are of course major contributors to success in life. No young person I know of, ever looks forward to baldness, but many women find a positive, self confident personality more attractive than hair. More women than you might think find the shaved look attractive. Years ago, I met Patrick Stewart. Hair loss lowered his self esteem a notch when he was younger so his sudden popularity even sex symbol status was difficult for him to fathom.

                      35YrsAfter also posts as CITNews and works at Dr. Cole's office - forhair.com - Cole Hair Transplant, 1045 Powers Place, Alpharetta, Georgia 30009 - Phone 678-566-1011 - email 35YrsAfter at chuck@forhair.com
                      The contents of my posts are my opinions and not medical advice
                      Please feel free to call or email me with any questions. Ask for Chuck

                      Comment

                      • baldozer
                        Senior Member
                        • Oct 2012
                        • 752

                        #12
                        I dont understand this prenotion that bald is ugly. I am bald but have never thought of myself as ugly. Hair can only enhance a face. If you are already goodlooking, you wont require the support of hair to look good.

                        Comment

                        • baldozer
                          Senior Member
                          • Oct 2012
                          • 752

                          #13
                          I have seen people mocking bald guys, but who gives a shit. We are not gonna waste time throwing stones at every dog that barks, you know.

                          Comment

                          • DeuceWillis
                            Member
                            • Feb 2014
                            • 75

                            #14
                            Amen baldozer!

                            Comment

                            • hellouser
                              Senior Member
                              • May 2012
                              • 4423

                              #15
                              Originally posted by fred970
                              It's only as bad as it appears. Society and women will make sure that you understand how bad it is.
                              Hit the nail on the head. But men are at fault too (privileged assholes who put us down to empower themselves more so).

                              Positional Good theory!

                              Comment

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