greetings

[johnsmith]

Greetings everyone:

I have been a long-time reader of the posts to the forum. I have also been following the news on potential treatments and cures of male pattern baldness/hair loss for about 25 years. Like most of you, year after year I read the hopeful press releases that strongly suggest a cure is likely within about 5 years. Then, I watch the 5 years pass, after which time new statements are released claiming once again that a cure or treatment is about 5 years away. Over and over and over that cycle repeats. It's not just hairloss either. The "5-year hope" statements apply to many industries, if not most.

Regarding my hairloss, it started to become increasingly noticeable when I was around 21 years old. By the time I was 25, I realized that it was starting to look ridiculous. I decided that it was a complete waste of time to wash and style my receding hair anymore, so I made the painful decision to begin shaving my head down to stubble. I sort of died that day and never recovered. It was as though I became completely different and a far less confident man, and I didn't like the new me.

I am now somewhere between a Norwood 4A and Norwood 5A. I can easily envision becoming a Norwood 6 in 5 years or so. To make matters even worse, I am grey too.

I had a beautiful full head of hair in my teens, which I wore long and styled well. The girls loved it! My grandmother even remarked that if I were a girl, I wouldn't have been blessed with such a beautiful full head of attractive hair.

As a teen athlete, I was a very popular in school, and I had lots of girlfriends. My hair was always a source of pride for me.

When I began losing my hair in my early 20s, it really blew my confidence. Although I was (and still am) an attractive guy. When I am wearing a cap and no one knows me, I am treated well and interacted with in great way. In pictures, when I wear sunglasses pushed up on my head, which generally masks my lack of hair, women tell me that I look great and very handsome. When the cap or sunglasses are off, it is a far different story. It's like I suddenly become a pariah.

I have been married, divorced, and have dated extensively, even with this condition, but it is extremely challenging to be myself and find the right woman for me. Hell, I even made the difficult choice to never have children because of the fear that a son would inherit this trait! I couldn't condemn him to this.

The problem that I find is that about 90% of the women out there who are worth having won't give you the time of day if you have lost your hair (or are losing your hair), and I certainly cannot and do not blame them at all.

Believe it or not, I have even considered dating blind women. That's how much this illness can mess with one's mind over time after repeated rejections that were obviously based on hairloss.

It is easy to sit back and say, "Well, those women who insist on a full head of hair are superficial, and you don't need that kind of woman anyway," but that's a cop out! I absolutely do not blame women for wanting a man with nice hair, or for rejecting men who don't have a nice, full head of hair.

Let's face it... Physical attraction is very important, and everyone has a minimum standard. It is quite natural. No one can deny that. I'm certainly not looking for a beauty queen (I had plenty of those when I was young), but just to find a normal woman now seems to be beyond my reach, despite the fact that I am otherwise attractive, very sweet, very intelligent, creative, have a great job, financial independence, own my own business, two homes, etc.

Regarding the remaining 10% of the women who look beyond hairloss, I still feel badly about possibly (or probably) embarrassing them by my hairloss. Let's face it! Hair loss is a disfigurement and it deeply affects the self-confidence of most people.

Anyway, over the years I have done NOTHING to "partially" treat this illness. I simply could not see myself grasping at straws with Rogaine, Propecia, Finasteride, etc. that "sort of work sometimes, but have nasty side effects", nor would I ever opt for fake transplants or even real transplants.

I saw the results of a male nurse who had hair transplant surgery in his 20s, and then he kept losing his hair through his 30s and eventually looked like he had a line of hair close to his brow that he combed back to hide his baldness. Um, no thanks! I am not into hiding this condition. I just want a solid and permanent cure.

Indeed, we need a full genetic cure, but I seriously doubt that one will come along for us any time soon.

How badly do I want a cure? I would probably pay ever dime that I have for one, if it were an ideal and infallible solution. Now, if we stop and think about that for a moment, how sad is it that one would play almost anything to erase this problem forever? I've thought about that question over the years, and it makes me truly realize how pathetic the human condition is; such that we would grasp and straws and pay virtually anything to look nicer. Amazing, but that's what we are; it is our nature!

Cheers,
John

P.S. My apologies for any typos. I wrote this rather quickly. Peace all!

[Age30 NW3]

A cure would be great. And you're right in not blaming women for their preferences. But we all have to remember....dating is no picnic even for guys with hair. It's not like every dude with good hair is slaying tail. Even tall, good-looking guys can blow it with women by being too douchey, too forward, etc. Really, only a small portion of men have the looks, height, and *GAME* to consistently do well with girls. And even then, it's not like they're living magical heavenly lives...they still have to deal with plenty of bullspit. So as much as it sucks donkey nuts to be bald, it just is what it is. We're only men, after all.

[johnsmith]

A cure would be great. And you're right in not blaming women for their preferences. But we all have to remember....dating is no picnic even for guys with hair. It's not like every dude with good hair is slaying tail. Even tall, good-looking guys can blow it with women by being too douchey, too forward, etc. Really, only a small portion of men have the looks, height, and *GAME* to consistently do well with girls. And even then, it's not like they're living magical heavenly lives...they still have to deal with plenty of bullspit. So as much as it sucks donkey nuts to be bald, it just is what it is. We're only men, after all.

Thank you very much for your comments and insights, my friend. Yes, it sucks unbelievably bad.

I didn't mean to convey the impression that I want to be a ladies man or a male slut, per se! LOL! That's not me at all. I simply want to find the one ideal woman for me (my soul mate) to settle down with, but this condition immediately eliminates any hope whatsoever with about 9 out of 10 women (or maybe even 95 out of 100). I made the mistake of marrying an attractive, svelte woman because she accepted me with my hair loss. Big mistake! Without this condition, I have absolutely no doubt that I could find the women who is right for me. I am VERY confident and self-assured without this condition. For me, this hair loss condition is like kryptonite to Superman, and I am definitely not trying to be funny at all. I am serious. With a full head of hair, I know I could date virtually any woman.

Cheers,
John

[Age30 NW3]

Well, believe whatever you need to believe. But you should know that you're basically contradicting yourself...you say you'd like a soulmate, but then you say you could date any girl. Those are conflicting ideas...if you're someone's perfect soulmate, how would you date other people that aren't your perfect soulmate? And a soulmate won't care about hair...because your soul doesn't have follicles.

I met my soulmate at law school. The secret to meeting women is to make yourself a part of a community, where you have social status. That's why you crushed it in high school...you were a member of a small community, and you were a leader. NO one does as well with girls after high school...because the real world is big and cold. Trying to approach strange women is incredibly difficult and demoralizing. It requires many attempts and massive patience, as well as endless courage.

You have a severe mental block, my friend. You're not giving women much credit if you believe that adult women can't love a bald man. Any man can be the man of a woman's dreams. Women want to take shelter under a man who kicks ass at life, not someone who is hung up on his appearance.

[Kenkieth16]

I tottally understan what you mean.
When i i started thinning i was devasted.
I been dealing with this since i was 17. N now im 22...it seems so unfair when i look around and all of my friends have great hair. Also my friends make fun of me so bad lol .but When i tell you when i had all my hair,I pulled SOOOOo many girls.! It was crazy. I PROMISE YU. I was ampd with so much confidence. Man i could talk to ANY GIRL . N i could usually get theyre number &or date them! I was "that guy" lol . My fashion is great & all...
& tbh i honestly lost alot of hair in february of this year. As soon as i stop 12.5 % Minox ...2-3 months later I went through a massive a.ss shed & alot went away, to the point that I DIDNT even look like myself. People that personally no me looks at me like what ****** happened to your hair? A co worker (who is also thinnging) even pointed out in February, he said "What happened to your hair ? It wasnt like that some months ago.".
It was thinning at an alarming RATE!
& since i lost alot of my hair, i find it harder to get girls. They jus dont look at me the same. Only girls that I know i can get is the girls that already know me. But as far as meet new people, i look like an alien to them or something lol

[LeonardoD]

A cure is probably generations a way. Thanks to the FDA and the capitalistic minds of the companies trying "cure" hair loss.

I doubt it will even be in our life time. I'm sorry, if you don't want to risk side effects for getting hair, you'll never get it back probably :/

[Kenkieth16]

A cure is probably generations a way. Thanks to the FDA and the capitalistic minds of the companies trying "cure" hair loss.

I doubt it will even be in our life time. I'm sorry, if you don't want to risk side effects for getting hair, you'll never get it back probably :/

I think the side effects is crazy. Its also a stupid choice. Basically gambling with your di.c.k to keep hair like who wants to do that.? Thats why ive been taking a
The topical route. & my hair is finally starting to look better. (Im in a recovery as stage of now) lol

Even though my hair is looking better.
Im still goin to wait some more months to see how well &or if its still working

[LeonardoD]

I think the side effects is crazy. Its also a stupid choice. Basically gambling with your di.c.k to keep hair like who wants to do that.? Thats why ive been taking a
The topical route. & my hair is finally starting to look better. (Im in a recovery as stage of now) lol

Even though my hair is looking better.
Im still goin to wait some more months to see how well &or if its still working

It's 1-2% that gets side effects. If you asked anyone who dealt with statistics, that would be a pretty good investment in terms of hair vs. loss of libido.

You got to understand that the majority of people who got sides from finansteride, is the guys that posts and complains about it. How many posts do you see concerning someone who hasn't got sides from finansteride?

If you stopped reading all the horrors stories, I'm sure far less would have side effects, it's just as much a minds game as it's actual side effects...

The only topical that "seems" to work is RU58841 which is more gamle than finansteride and dutasteride. No real studies on humans and there is no knowledge of or documentations of possible short or long term side effects. Other than that most topicals are nothing compared to fin or dut.

I would rather call your situation a gamble of your hair instead of your dick. And yes, I do take finansteride and I have absolutely no side effects.

[Notcoolanymore]

Many people have been in Kenkieth's shoes. I know that I have. Fin is the only prescription drug that I have taken long term. I hate the idea of being dependent on a drug for the rest of my life. Where I stand, I really have no choice. I don't want to go bald and when I started taking fin those were my choices: take fin or go bald. Many guys that are afraid of fin sides will not take it until they get desperate. The problem is at that point they have already lost too much hair to make a good recovery.



In a perfect world we would have a 100% "safe" cure, but we do not live in that perfect world and I personally don't think we will see that type of cure any time soon. I hope I am proven wrong. At this point all we can do is choose to treat our hair with available treatments, or prepare to go through life as bald/balding men.