CHANGE how people see bald men

[baldozer]

I hate this balding crap as much as anybody, but sometimes I think we are our own worst enemy when it comes to keeping us from getting what we want out of life. As much as we would all like to believe that hair will end all of our suffering, and I know I will get crap for this, but having a full head of hair will not solve all our problems.

Many around here make it all about women. Yeah there are many women that will not give you the time of day because of your shitty hair, but there are also women that will do the same because of your skin tone, weight, financial status, education, etc. We can only make the best of what we have. I am not saying give up the hair loss battle. I sure as hell am not. Just because our hair is going to hell doesn't mean we have to let the rest of us do the same.

Losing hair most likely will take it's toll on our looks, but we don't have to make things worse by walking around frustrated and angry about it. I think a woman would rather go out with the cool, in shape, stylish, balding guy, than a bitter, angry, insecure, balding guy that walks around hating the world.

First you say that people here make it all about women, and then at the end you yourself talk about what kind of guys women are attracted to. Seriously, we should stop worrying so much about what women find attractive. This is one reason why I hate this sexual liberation so much. It puts men into endless competition for women.

[fred970]

It's women, always women, that's the first thing that comes to the mind of every man noticing his hair loss for the first time.

Yes, life is pretty much about our ability to get laid, everything we do is about getting laid. And once our hair is departing, we just have to do much more to attract a partner.

No so, baldness isn't the sexual death sentence a lot of people make it out to be. You'll just not be able to let yourself go as much as the guy with a full head of hair, and in the end, maybe that's a good thing.

[baldozer]

It's women, always women, that's the first thing that comes to the mind of every man noticing his hair loss for the first time.

Yes, life is pretty much about our ability to get laid, everything we do is about getting laid. And once our hair is departing, we just have to do much more to attract a partner.

No so, baldness isn't the sexual death sentence a lot of people make it out to be. You'll just not be able to let yourself go as much as the guy with a full head of hair, and in the end, maybe that's a good thing.

Nonsense. Once, you are married, life is all about making the life of your family better rather than being lecherous. Like I said before, sexual liberation has put men into an endless competition of getting laid. Its pure greed and is destructive to your soul. It can also turn into an addiction which interferes with other important things in your life, like study and job.

[Jasari]

I'm an attractive 24 year old guy, 6" 3', I have been approached to do modelling, I had a good social life, I had success with women, doing well in university etc. etc. All of that while being bald, yet I have been on minoxidil since I was 20 years old and I had a 5000€ FUE hair transplant two weeks ago, this is the topic about it: http://www.baldtruthtalk.com/showthread.php?t=16218

Why? Because I just didn't want to be "the bald guy". Because no matter how much you make your rationalization hamster spin and tell yourself being bald at f-ing 24 years old is OK, in the end, society, people, women hate baldness on young guys and will make sure to remind you that, so that you know your place.

I've been bullied by men in bars, shouting, singing in chores that I had no hair, women made fun of my see-through hair, women told me "not you, not in your dreams, I don't date bald guys!", "we told each other you had cancer, do you have cancer Fred?", "You look like a skinhead", "You were good-looking, you know, when you had hair".

I'll go further and say this: you may have won the genetic lottery and still be deeply affected by baldness, because it is and always will be disfigurement. You hair line goes and the proportions are not there anymore. It crushes you when you look in the mirror. You are simply just worse off, and average guys can lose quite a lot of marks on the attractive scale. OP, you don't seem to realize how offensive your posts can come across here, and you're only NW3, wait until you're past NW4 and come back to lecture us again. I'll not be surprised if you changed your mind completely.

I'm in the same boat. I actually shaved my head & it looked pretty good. I didn't get bad comments, women liked it but I hated it - The biggest thing that changes is this stereotype you get lumped in. Automatically you're the tough guy etc & a lot of women like that but it sucks when you don't.

I actually ended up going to the same doc in Belgium as you (And if from the other side of the world) - I've subsequently had a second transplant & gone from a norwood 4 to norwood 2 & couldn't be happier.

[fred970]

Nonsense. Once, you are married, life is all about making the life of your family better rather than being lecherous. Like I said before, sexual liberation has put men into an endless competition of getting laid. Its pure greed and is destructive to your soul. It can also turn into an addiction which interferes with other important things in your life, like study and job.

I don't want to get married, ever, I think it's one of the stupidest thing a man could do in 2014, the woman will divorce you, take your kids and your money, that's the reality. Then what? Are you married to even say things like that? I don't see getting laid as pure greed and destructive. That's your vision of things.

To me, there's nothing more important than getting laid, and I think every man who's telling himself the contrary here knows deep down he's kidding himself. 99% of the posts about how baldness affect our lives in this forum are about how women will react to it. That's fact.

Seducing women is important, and to a greater extent, relationships are, not only with women, but with other people. Study and a job are secondary in life in my opinion. What matters to me are people, my family, my friends, my girlfriend.

Jobs and studies are overrated, everyone I know who is in a corporate job that society advertise as the ultimate achievement in life are miserable. Now I'm doing a master at university, but it's not like my life depends on my study and my ability to sacrifice 40 hours a week of my time to a big corporation that could replace me in a heartbeat.

Sure money is important, but not as important as the time you will waste while you're at work. All the money in the world won't buy it back.

I actually ended up going to the same doc in Belgium as you (And if from the other side of the world) - I've subsequently had a second transplant & gone from a norwood 4 to norwood 2 & couldn't be happier.

Thanks for this post, it gives me hope for my future growth .

[Age30 NW3]

It is absolutely all about girls. Baldozer even admits it...what is getting married and having kids? Getting laid, of course! Any man who wants to get married wants to attract the best wife possible. Any man who isn't interested in marriage wants to bang the best girls possible.

But here's the rub: hair is only one tiny piece of the "woman-attraction" puzzle. And as fred said, having great hair basically just allows a man to be lazier in other areas and still be attractive to many girls. Big effin deal.

When a woman meets a man, she first decides if she's physically attracted. That calculus is simply, "is he tall enough, and do I enjoy his face." That's it. Obviously there are girls with more specific criteria, but that is their business. Girls are allowed to restrict or grant access to their vaginas however they please.

Your face is not just your hairline. Do you have nice teeth? Good color? Do you take care of your skin? Do you have good breath? (Floss!!)

After that comes the really important part: actually talking to her. At this point she'll be looking for a man who makes her feel comfortable, yet a little bit dangerous. She wants a guy to show her a point of view she hasn't seen before. She wants someone who is real and interesting.

And NEVER forget: even if at first she decides she doesn't like you, she can ALWAYS change her mind down the road and fall in love with you. Girls are fickle, silly creatures.

[fred970]

I agree with pretty much all the above.

[Age30 NW3]

And Fred

When I was your age I said the same kinds of things..."it's all about hair, I'm bald so my life is over." But yknow what man? Everyone in life has their hurdle. Everyone has weird bone structure or odd eyes or bad hair or a skinny neck etc etc. Humans are just friggin animals. We were not made in god's image.

So it's not about who has more hair. It's about who is willing to sack up and kick ass in spite of the frail human body they inherited. Who is willing to quit whining and just make it happen. Be great at something. Be a great soccer player or a great scientist or a great piano player. If you are truly great at something, and you spend time developing yourself into a calm, happy person, then that's what you'll be: great, calm, and happy. Are you seriously going to let a few psycho chicks and a few pub strangers make you hate yourself?

[fred970]

It's just that I tell myself that I could do without that crap. And that other guys my age don't go through that crap, and they never will, because if they start balding at 40, it will be way more acceptable.

And don't tell me it's the same as being ugly or being short. No one is born bald, no one has to be bald as a kid. I had a glimpse, until I was an adult, of what it was like to have full head of hair, of what it was like to look normal, and I didn't want it to change.

I don't hate myself, I like myself. I'm just stating the injustices in this declining world (yes I think it's a problem mainly the West faces), I hate when other people diminish my value only because they watched too much Hollywood flicks where the guys who's a winner has a full head of hair and the odd guy or the villain is a bald loser, so you know, I must be this ultimate loser too. Jason Alexander will never save the day and get the hot girl, he cannot do that because he's bald, but Tom Cruise will.

"You have no hair, know your place." is what I read on these ignorant people's mind.

[Age30 NW3]

Again...your problem isn't hair. It's that you have a deep misunderstanding of people.

Other people won't have to go through that crap? Life is a crap fest. EVERYONE has their own special flavor of crap to deal with. What makes you so special? Not having hair? Please.

You're right...it's not like being short. Because being short is an actual physical limitation. It means being handicapped at sports, and being unable to reach things. It means being virtually unable to lead other men, and I won't even discuss the girls.

Do you know why people marginalize you for being bald? Because they hate their lives. Do you think for a second that a happy, confident, well-adjusted person gives a sh*t about your hair?

You need to focus on understanding what makes people act the way they do. Otherwise you will continue to be unhappy. Even if your surgery ends up a total success, you'll find another thing to complain about. The attitude of "I will fight and I will win" has nothing to do with your follicles.