+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 20
  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    11

    Default Confidence building

    As a long time hair loss sufferer I am in an endless struggle with life and with the way I feel about myself. Always on the lookout for treatments that could someday give me back the thing that 90% of my peers still have. I'm probably fairly decent looking when it comes to having a completely shaved head. I honestly don't care about having hair anymore, being bald is kind of nice, what I do care about is how difficult it has become for me to meet girls. I'm going on a year and a half of no sex, and only a couple of make out sessions. I go on dates all the time with girls that I meet through various online dating services. Most of the girls I meet are so below my standards that even having sex with them for the sake of having sex is not something I desire. What I want more than anything is to achieve that level of confidence that so many people point to anytime someone asks the age old question, "do girls like bald men?" I think we're all realistic here, girls rarely prefer bald men, let alone guys who've lost ALL their hair by the age of 31. Having said that, I'm not getting my hair back anytime soon. Having that elusive confidence is the one and only thing I should be focusing on. So my question to you guys is, what are some confidence building techniques that have worked for you (if there are any), and are their any books or other resources that you recommend?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    306

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lrocksmashtime View Post
    As a long time hair loss sufferer I am in an endless struggle with life and with the way I feel about myself. Always on the lookout for treatments that could someday give me back the thing that 90% of my peers still have. I'm probably fairly decent looking when it comes to having a completely shaved head. I honestly don't care about having hair anymore, being bald is kind of nice, what I do care about is how difficult it has become for me to meet girls. I'm going on a year and a half of no sex, and only a couple of make out sessions. I go on dates all the time with girls that I meet through various online dating services. Most of the girls I meet are so below my standards that even having sex with them for the sake of having sex is not something I desire. What I want more than anything is to achieve that level of confidence that so many people point to anytime someone asks the age old question, "do girls like bald men?" I think we're all realistic here, girls rarely prefer bald men, let alone guys who've lost ALL their hair by the age of 31. Having said that, I'm not getting my hair back anytime soon. Having that elusive confidence is the one and only thing I should be focusing on. So my question to you guys is, what are some confidence building techniques that have worked for you (if there are any), and are their any books or other resources that you recommend?
    What Norwood are you and have you had and/ or considering a Hair Transplant? Are you on finasteride and minoxidil at least also?

  3. #3
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    11

    Default

    I'm NW6 I think. Been taking fin for over a decade. Shit doesn't seem to do much for me especially in the front.

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Posts
    198

    Default

    Work out, buy a badass car/truck (learn to drive stick if you don't already, chicks notice), learn to fight, get a license to carry a gun and do so, go hunting (I use a compound bow), get a sweet job that pays well. These are all things that have greatly improved my confidence.

    I take fin and my hair doesn't look too bad yet, but I know I'll be totally bald someday so I'm already working to compensate.

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    37

    Default

    I'm a NW 3-3.5 at age 36. I've accepted I can't regain what I've lost, but I also know that hair isn't the only element of attractiveness. If you're feeling down about the lack of hair, work on the other things...clothes, grooming, physique, psychological. Concentrate on dressing better to improve your appearence. Don't "over-dress", just wear things that fit. Work out more...start to run. When I started to lose my hair, I started running to keep in shape. It was something I could control. It takes some time, but eventually you'll build up stanima and won't be winded. It'll give you time to think, your clothes will fit better, and you'll look better without. I may not have a full head of hair, but I also have absolutly no gut. Maybe you're not as old as me, but that just gives you more time. You'd be amazed how many guys my age have fat that hangs over their belt...it's not attractive even if you have a full head of hair.

    I also build confidence through what I've accomplished professionally. I was lucky enough to get into law school and now have my own criminal defense practice. I feel like my profession requires a ton of responsibility...more so than most people have in other jobs.

    Finally, developing an attractive personality is perhaps the most important aspect that will set you apart. I remember seeing a guy in a wheelchair just slaying ***** at a bar. I happened to talk to his ex-girlfriend (who was absolutely beautiful) who told me that girls just fall for him. They like how "he presents himself"...how he acts, the way he makes people feel about themselves. She said they dated, but she saw how girls flocked to him and she didn't want to keep him from those opportunities...I'll admit it was a bit weird. The reason I remember that story was I kept wondering why she was still hanging around an ex-boyfriend...while 2 (honestly) girls were sitting on his lap. I remember her telling me that's just how much she enjoys his company. Some may think his disability would affect his chances with women, but it was apparent to me that he improved on what he could. It was enough to make me jealous...hell, I still remember it many years later.

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike K View Post
    Work out, buy a badass car/truck (learn to drive stick if you don't already, chicks notice), learn to fight, get a license to carry a gun and do so, go hunting (I use a compound bow), get a sweet job that pays well. These are all things that have greatly improved my confidence.

    I take fin and my hair doesn't look too bad yet, but I know I'll be totally bald someday so I'm already working to compensate.
    I hear ya. My entire life has become a nonstop attempt to compensate for my physical inadequacies. I actually do work out a fair amount, and have trained Muay Thai for the past 5 years, I've been playing guitar for over 15 years, I'm also an experienced and successful software programmer and currently the CTO of a very exciting tech startup. I'd buy a truck but I live in NYC. Going hunting is an interesting one, I'll consider it. At the end of the day it's pretty sad that I can admit to having all these great skills and when push comes to shove a tall guy with good hair will always be more confident than me, and will always get the girl over me.

    ****ing bullshit

  7. #7
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Posts
    11

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Widowmaker View Post
    I'm a NW 3-3.5 at age 36. I've accepted I can't regain what I've lost, but I also know that hair isn't the only element of attractiveness. If you're feeling down about the lack of hair, work on the other things...clothes, grooming, physique, psychological. Concentrate on dressing better to improve your appearence. Don't "over-dress", just wear things that fit. Work out more...start to run. When I started to lose my hair, I started running to keep in shape. It was something I could control. It takes some time, but eventually you'll build up stanima and won't be winded. It'll give you time to think, your clothes will fit better, and you'll look better without. I may not have a full head of hair, but I also have absolutly no gut. Maybe you're not as old as me, but that just gives you more time. You'd be amazed how many guys my age have fat that hangs over their belt...it's not attractive even if you have a full head of hair.

    I also build confidence through what I've accomplished professionally. I was lucky enough to get into law school and now have my own criminal defense practice. I feel like my profession requires a ton of responsibility...more so than most people have in other jobs.

    Finally, developing an attractive personality is perhaps the most important aspect that will set you apart. I remember seeing a guy in a wheelchair just slaying ***** at a bar. I happened to talk to his ex-girlfriend (who was absolutely beautiful) who told me that girls just fall for him. They like how "he presents himself"...how he acts, the way he makes people feel about themselves. She said they dated, but she saw how girls flocked to him and she didn't want to keep him from those opportunities...I'll admit it was a bit weird. The reason I remember that story was I kept wondering why she was still hanging around an ex-boyfriend...while 2 (honestly) girls were sitting on his lap. I remember her telling me that's just how much she enjoys his company. Some may think his disability would affect his chances with women, but it was apparent to me that he improved on what he could. It was enough to make me jealous...hell, I still remember it many years later.
    Great post. thanks for the response. I do have time, but it's just sickening to think that this feeling of being from another planet could last for god knows how long. The longer I go without someone special to help me through this roller coaster the worse I become. I'm particularly interesting the psychological thing you speak of. I need to really figure out how to train myself to think differently and to change. Personality is something that I have an abundance of, my low self esteem suppresses it much too often.

  8. #8
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    37

    Default

    Sh1t man, sounds like your job pays (or can potentially pay) very well...that's a ton better than most guys. You play the guitar and live in NYC. Why not work out some songs and play solo accustic in coffee shops/bars. Maybe it sounds intimidating (and douchey) but in NYC you can be pretty anonomous and I imagine girls will totally dig a musician with a crowd...even a very small crowd. At least it could get that initial conversation to break the ice.

  9. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    37

    Default

    Also, it's a lot tougher being bald in your mid 20s as compared to your mid 30s. I started losing at around 20 and it's been a slow but steady progression. It's a lot easier when you noticed your peers/friends losing hair as well. That's way more common in your 30s. It sounds rediculous, but there is some value in showing confidence and accepting hairloss and improving on what you can while most of your friends are obviously dealing with and trying to hide their hairloss.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    289

    Default

    Hit the gym, get some new cloths. YouTube frank medrano. He's a little extreme. We've all heard about Neil Strauss, I don't agree with all they do but as far as building confidence I don't think there is any thing else. In short find some one that can help you/push you.

    Get a Harley.

Similar Threads

  1. This obsession with muscle building
    By Dav7 in forum Bodybuilding / Fitness / Nutrition
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 11-19-2015, 10:18 AM
  2. Building Upon What is Already Working
    By 35YrsAfter in forum Hair Transplant: Start Your Own Topic
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-18-2013, 12:24 PM
  3. Fake Confidence vs Real Confidence
    By yeahyeahyeah in forum Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 11-08-2012, 06:40 PM
  4. Girlfriend knocked my confidence
    By jonnykino in forum Men's Hair Loss: Start Your Own Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 08-07-2012, 09:42 AM
  5. Hairloss...depression, loss of self-confidence
    By Pliskin in forum Introduce Yourself & Share Your Story
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11-17-2011, 04:52 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

» IAHRS

hair transplant surgeons

» The Bald Truth

» Recent Threads

Crown Thinning or Cowlick?
12-13-2017 08:19 PM
by Zuul
Last Post By BaldBearded
Today 12:18 AM
can you suggest me a hairstyle?
Yesterday 11:31 PM
by smani
Last Post By smani
Yesterday 11:31 PM
Finasteride and Minoxidil ?
Yesterday 07:38 AM
Last Post By k9gatton
Yesterday 07:52 PM
Is the cure near or should i just get a transplant ?
12-02-2017 04:01 AM
by snowie
Last Post By Notgivingup2
Yesterday 02:39 PM