My story

[lrocksmashtime]

Hey guys, not sure how to start this off, so I'll just start typing and see what comes out. I started losing my hair in senior year of high school. I've also always been overly critical of myself and never had much of a self esteem. I attribute much of that to my years growing up in various places and never having a chance to build a good network. Nevertheless I managed to make some great friends in high school, people I can still count on today.

College was when my hair loss really started to affect me. Back then I didn't have to put in much effort to fall into some kind of fling with a girl. I usually just waited for one to come to me, instead of going after them (likely because I still had self-esteem issues). I spent many nights wondering why this was happening to me, some nights I'd find a secluded part of the college campus and cry like a little baby. I became so depressed that I had to drop out of all my classes except one. It wasn't long after that I started buzzing my head.

The details between then and now aren't that important, I managed to have a couple of girlfriends that could have been considered attractive. I even got to sleep with one of the most beautiful girls I had ever known. That was more than two years ago. I am 31 and am going on a year and a half of no sex life.

I live in the Lower East Side in NYC. I'm constantly surrounded by the most beautiful girls and all I keep thinking is "what's the point. You'll never get a girl like that again." I've gone on at least 20 dates in the past 6 months with girls I've met online. Most of the girls who agree to meet me are so below my standards that I could never bring myself to do anything with them. The ones who just about meet my smallest criteria are constantly canceling dates and just generally never seem to put in the same effort that I do. Trying to meet girls at bars/clubs is an exercise in futility. When I finally get up the courage to talk to them they shun me like I'm a leper.

Most of the guys around me have enough hair that it passes for normal. My brother who is 29 is a chick magnet and has almost a full head of hair. Girls do not care about what I've accomplished. I'm the CTO of a very cool tech startup, I have a full length album on itunes, I have 15 years of guitar playing under my belt, and generally I'm a unique, intelligent, funny guy from a great family. I would not be living in NYC if it weren't for my job.

I've been on Propecia and Minoxidil for over a decade, no side effects, hopefully none that will appear later. I shave my head to the skin almost every day. I am not a tall guy just about 5'8 with shoes. I once scheduled an FUE appt but cancelled it last minute because I didn't want to have a bunch of dots on the back of my head should I decide to shave again. It was an appt with Ziering, and cost me a down payment of $1000. If I ever do go through with a procedure it will not be with them. And for the record I thing I'm a good looking guy with a shaved head, I just don't think i'm good looking enough to compete with the rest of the guys in NYC.

Anyways, here I am, all I want is to meet someone that I am attracted to and to spend the rest of my life with. Away from all of this. Are there any other NYCers out there that are having a hard a time as me? I apologize if this is poorly written, I'm tired, and depressed.

[Notcoolanymore]

It just sounds to me like you are in a bit of a slump. Forgive me if I am wrong, but from what I gather you have very little game. I suck too. So again no offense. Despite having no game you have said that you had sex with a few girls in college and recently had sex with one of the hottest girls you have ever known. Based on that, I am going to assume that you are a pretty good looking guy.

As far as your experience with internet dating, don't let any of that stuff get to you. Men outnumber women on those site like 10:1. It is nearly impossible to get a date with a hottie you see online, unless you have a douche bag profile(topless pic showing 6-pack). Nice guys usually do not succeed online. They are usually left fighting over scraps(below average women). Guys are at a major disadvantage online and because of this become desperate. Below average woman have a smorgasbord of guys to choose from and because of that become delusional on what they are "entitled" to. I can go on and on about this, but I think you get my point.

You are a good looking guy, with a good job and other things going for you. I would say just keep up with your appearance as much as you can and keep your standards up. Expand your network, that should increase your dating opportunities.

[lrocksmashtime]

Thanks for the reply Notcoolanymore. I only have game when it comes to girls I've known for a while and who've known me and when I can tell that they have some what of an interest. When it comes to picking up a total stranger, yes I have 0 game. I'm constantly talking to girls on apps like Tinder, but the amount of obstacles between sifting through profiles and being in a relationship seem insurmountable.

[Notcoolanymore]

I only have game when it comes to girls I've known for a while and who've known me and when I can tell that they have some what of an interest. When it comes to picking up a total stranger, yes I have 0 game.

Most people are in the same boat, including myself. That's why as a single dude it's important to expand your network. That will increase your dating opportunities. Become friends with everybody including girls you are not attracted to. Even they will have attractive friends. You have many things going for you. It's not like you bring nothing to the table. Don't let a little hair loss keep you from getting the girl you deserve.

[Mike K]

You say you've been on propecia and minox for over a decade but you also shave your head? What norwood are you with it grown out?

[lrocksmashtime]

You say you've been on propecia and minox for over a decade but you also shave your head? What norwood are you with it grown out?

I actually quit for a little bit but then started again because of the FUE appt. I still have visible but incredibly thin hairs over my entire head but for practical purposes I look like an N6. I often ask myself why I bother to continue the medication at this point I'm just clinging to what's left in the case that I do finally go through with a procedure.

[Mike K]

Have you considered a concealer like toppik? Maybe you could beef up all the thin stuff?

[lrocksmashtime]

Have you considered a concealer like toppik? Maybe you could beef up all the thin stuff?

I did look at something like that not too long ago, but I couldn't tell if it was just a scam. Maybe I'll take a look again.

[Mike K]

They're pretty popular. I read somewhere online that Spencer Kobren uses Dermmatch. Toppik, Dermmatch, and Caboki are the popular ones. Concealers outside of these 3 may be scams.

[Notcoolanymore]

They're pretty popular. I read somewhere online that Spencer Kobren uses Dermmatch. Toppik, Dermmatch, and Caboki are the popular ones. Concealers outside of these 3 may be scams.

My hair would definitely look better if I applied one of these. Maybe I should give it a try.