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Wouldnt the more fitting equivalent be that all the women in the club are bald too? You cant have a double standard.
I got to bars/clubs just to have fun not with the sole intent of going home with someone. It it happens good if not no big deal. Everyone is judged on looks whether its online or at some club some people might judge it differently, but most people do it.
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Originally Posted by fred970
You're absolutely right 25. What are the chances, even for a very good looking guy to have a one night stand at the club? Sometimes I go to a club with the same group of people, and every single week, it's the same, they pretend to have fun and that tonight's the night, they will close. And then nothing, again, and the next week, they'll try again, and still nothing etc. Not to mention the amount of money they spend on it.
Then they make fun of me because I sleep with girls I meet online, at social events or sometimes in coffee shops. "It's easier". Yes, of course it is, everything beats "going to the club" when it comes to meeting women. It's cheaper also, even free. It's a persistent stereotype, that the only acceptable venue to meet women is "the club". It's loud, it's sweaty, it's expensive and you're judged solely on your looks. Even with online dating, you still have a profile where people can read about your personality.
To OP, one simple question: do you even like going to clubs?
Was wondering what sort of social events? Looking for some ideas
You could tell your friends, if they are bothersome, that they are 'behind the times' and your way is how everyone does it these days I am sure you probably handle them fine though.
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Originally Posted by fred970
You're absolutely right 25. What are the chances, even for a very good looking guy to have a one night stand at the club? Sometimes I go to a club with the same group of people, and every single week, it's the same, they pretend to have fun and that tonight's the night, they will close. And then nothing, again, and the next week, they'll try again, and still nothing etc. Not to mention the amount of money they spend on it.
Then they make fun of me because I sleep with girls I meet online, at social events or sometimes in coffee shops. "It's easier". Yes, of course it is, everything beats "going to the club" when it comes to meeting women. It's cheaper also, even free. It's a persistent stereotype, that the only acceptable venue to meet women is "the club". It's loud, it's sweaty, it's expensive and you're judged solely on your looks. Even with online dating, you still have a profile where people can read about your personality.
Basically you have the right idea, nothing is wrong w/ your approach. For most men clubs are far from the most cost effective way (time and $) to get laid
Your question in bold is hard to answer, there are many factors. If you meet the criteria I listed in my 1st reply to OP & also handle some other factors (get your own place, do not get too drunk, make her friends feel comfortable if possible), your success rate can be decent unless you are waiting for a bombshell (you will wait forever). Virtually any one night stand you pull from a club is going to be clearly worse looking than you
The truly attractive women I have been w/ are ones I met through friends or work. 1 thing though, if one night stands are your goal you will do better at big house parties than clubs, there are not so many logistic/social barriers
Originally Posted by yeahyeahyeah
A quick question; how many of you guys just fall into relationships with women?...like it just happens, you meet a girl, really get along and before you know it dating her?
This is the only way I have ever had relationships. Again always through friends, work, etc....never bars or clubs. but my relationships are short because I am pretty depressive
Originally Posted by James7
Was wondering what sort of social events? Looking for some ideas
What are your hobbies/interests?
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Originally Posted by 25 going on 65
Basically you have the right idea, nothing is wrong w/ your approach. For most men clubs are far from the most cost effective way (time and $) to get laid
Your question in bold is hard to answer, there are many factors. If you meet the criteria I listed in my 1st reply to OP & also handle some other factors (get your own place, do not get too drunk, make her friends feel comfortable if possible), your success rate can be decent unless you are waiting for a bombshell (you will wait forever). Virtually any one night stand you pull from a club is going to be clearly worse looking than you
The truly attractive women I have been w/ are ones I met through friends or work. 1 thing though, if one night stands are your goal you will do better at big house parties than clubs, there are not so many logistic/social barriers
This is the only way I have ever had relationships. Again always through friends, work, etc....never bars or clubs. but my relationships are short because I am pretty depressive
What are your hobbies/interests?
Thanks guys , I was really feeling like there was something wrong with me to the point with the latest girl showing interest, I'm taken aback.
My male friends always seem to pick up (or say they do) makes you feel inadequate. But it seems as though , a lot of guys don't pick up in bars/clubs judging by this thread. Many exaggerate their claims.
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Originally Posted by fred970
You're absolutely right 25. What are the chances, even for a very good looking guy to have a one night stand at the club? Sometimes I go to a club with the same group of people, and every single week, it's the same, they pretend to have fun and that tonight's the night, they will close. And then nothing, again, and the next week, they'll try again, and still nothing etc. Not to mention the amount of money they spend on it.
Then they make fun of me because I sleep with girls I meet online, at social events or sometimes in coffee shops. "It's easier". Yes, of course it is, everything beats "going to the club" when it comes to meeting women. It's cheaper also, even free. It's a persistent stereotype, that the only acceptable venue to meet women is "the club". It's loud, it's sweaty, it's expensive and you're judged solely on your looks. Even with online dating, you still have a profile where people can read about your personality.
To OP, one simple question: do you even like going to clubs?
How do you meet girls in coffee shops - I've never understood people who say that. Whenever I'm in a coffee shop, I'm there because I want to either do some work/study or essentially be by myself but in public. hah.
As for clubs and meeting girls - personally I could care less about meeting girls at bars/clubs/etc. I'm more the guy that wants to go out and have some fun in a different setting, and I'll talk to girls for the off chance that they are interesting. I know a lot of dudes that are the "oh man let's get laid" type and often lie HEAVILY about what they actually accomplish at bars. I'm pretty happy with myself and my life other than what my hair is doing - but I'm coming to terms with that. I've found that the only thing that really provides happiness and self-worth is respecting yourself and knowing what you like about yourself. I guess for some people it's sexual success. For me, I don't really give a shit about what I do every night as long as I have some laughs.
It's not specifically confidence that girls like - it's more along the lines of being comfortable with yourself. Unless they are the low self-esteem type, and you can do the hating them for them.
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I look for the social events in my town (Brussels) on the web then I go to them, most of the time on my own. I have much more success doing this than at the club. In fact, I've never had a one night stand by going to a club.
I also go to coffee shop to study, then sometimes I end up talking to a girl.
It's the same for me, I assume my friends lie a lot about those things, perpetuating the myth that you can get laid easily there if you have "confidence".
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Originally Posted by fred970
I look for the social events in my town (Brussels) on the web then I go to them, most of the time on my own. I have much more success doing this than at the club. In fact, I've never had a one night stand by going to a club.
I also go to coffee shop to study, then sometimes I end up talking to a girl.
It's the same for me, I assume my friends lie a lot about those things, perpetuating the myth that you can get laid easily there if you have "confidence".
If you don't think confidence matters, you're loco.
Whether I was single and out at the bars, with my current girlfriend, at work, anywhere, when I feel good and have confidence I attract attention, enjoy myself, and nurture that attention accordingly.
Take care of yourself, engage in a hobby, and reach benchmarks in your life, and I'm absolutely telling you (not you specifically, fred, just generally speaking) that you'll find people gravitate to you.
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a club for bald people would turn into a giant sausage fest of mostly older men who are likely single.
FUN!
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I absolutely agree with you BigThinker. It's already the case for me. It's as simple as that, not letting yourself go, being cultivated and being funny. I've had huge success with girls this year, maybe because once you've gone through hair loss, everything else seems so easy to manage.
But there's so much confidence can do. I have male friends who are quite ugly (and do not even have MPB), no matter how confident they are, they will be looked down upon and even laughed at for even trying.
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