My story
Hi guys,
So after discovering this forum about 3 months ago, and reading it somewhat avidly since then, i've decided that it's time to actually tell my story, so I can have some people to talk to about my hair-loss.
I am 28 year old, and have been suffering from hair loss since the age of about 16 years old. I grew up with my hair being my crowing glory, thick curly hair that my Grandma would always say is "wasted on a boy". Unfortunately, one moment that I was on the way to school at 16 years old, I gelled my hair quite dramatically (as I always did) and saw right through to my scalp in the mirror in some harsh lighting. And that's when my obsession began.
Now before I continue, I have to admit that I am very fortunate. My hairloss, which is frontal thinning, with some mild temple receding, has been very slow. Given i've been losing it since I am 16 years old, to be a thinning NW2 ish now, without any medication or real attempt to treat it, I know I am lucky. My genetics are probably in my favour - I have 3 brothers, all with thick full heads of hair, and all the male relatives on my mothers side (including my grandfather) have full thick heads of hair - literally minimal loss. And my father is an NW3 at most. As to why I seem to be the only one who is suffering out of my brothers, you'll have to ask the milkman I guess.
For 12 years however, I am not sure if I can recall a single day passing where I did not double check my hair and wonder where it was going. For the first few years I was in absolute denial ("this can't happen to me", "no, it's always been thin there, yes, that's right, I was born this way), but through my 20's I only need to look at photos of myself years ago to see how it has slowly but surely progressed.
Where it has affected my life the most however, is the dramatic impact it has on me, when someone mentions it, or worse, takes the mickey out of it in front of people. My normally confident nature totally shrivels up into a crushed hurt person, and inside I am bordering on crying. I cannot truly understand why it has such an impact on me, but my enemies would only need to know that in an argument with me, they can destroy me by insulting my hair loss. I truly thought I was the only person like this - I looked at other balding people, and thought "why can they cope with it whilst i'm so different". So I continued to never talk about it, even to my own girlfriend.
For much of my 20's, I hovered in and out of thinking about treatments. I knew about propecia, but I wasn't ready to make that jump, as I didn't believe my hair loss to be severe enough (I didn't think about it in terms of "maintanance"). However, in the last year, several things have caused me to decide that enough is enough, and I have to do something about it.
Earlier this year, my girlfriend of many years took a photo of me on holiday, when it was raining, and my hair was all over the place. I saw the extent to which my hair had thinned, and I looked appalling in my own eyes. My girlfriend didn't say anything, but I could tell that she had noticed. Later that evening, I decided to talk to her about it...the first time I have ever discussed it with anyone. I practically broke down in tears, and spent hours telling her how many years I have tormented myself about it. She was genuinely shocked - she knew my hair was thinning, but said she didn't think anything of it, and she had absolutely no idea that it concerned me this much. She was used to my confident nature, and had never seem me so consumed with insecurity. To that day even, I still thought I a rarity in the balding world, in that I let it bother me that much. But after being honest with her about it, I felt a world of difference, as I finally had someone to talk to about it.
Then, a month later, I was out with some colleagues. There was a fellow worker who I didn't get on with particularly, who was pretty drunk. We were having a bit of banter with eachother, and I ended up saying something relatively innocent, but something that he clearly didn't like. His response was the roughly the following, in front of 10 other colleagues:
"Well I don't know why i've wasted so much time bantering with you, when I could have just mentioned your hair! Look at it, you're like a monk! It looks shit, you balding git!" He then proceeded to rub my hair in front of everyone and laugh. Some of my colleagues laughed too, some looked away, realising that this guy had crossed a bit of a line.
He was chuckling away, as I absolutely crumbled infront of all my colleagues. I looked down at my beer, and didn't look up for about an hour. I was mortified, and went home that night and sunk into a bout of depression. I woke up the next day, looked in the mirror before work, and promised myself that I would do something about it. If my hairloss was able to depress me that much, I owed it to myself to try my best to sort it out.
I began investigating the forums. And that was when I made the relatively startling discovery that I was not the only one like this - in fact, so many other guys, were suffering like me. From NW2 - NW7, it was utterly ruining lives. It was heartbreaking to read stories of young guys who became social hermits due to it, something I had never become. I started listening to Spencer Kobren on his radio show, and finally realised that there were thousands of people like me out there, just as consumed with worry and concern about it.
I researched hair transplants extensively, and decided that I wanted to fill in the front of my head. A good result to me could be life-transforming. After many consultations with various places, one thing that I know for sure is that I have very good donor hair. In May, I eventually booked in for a 2000 graft FUT, scheduled for November - so the time grows nearer.
I also considered the medications. Given the slow pace of my hair loss, and my favourable genetics (at least from looking at my family), I wasn't too concerned with further loss after the transplant. However, I was advised to go on Propecia. I looked into it, and after considerable panic reading about all the sides many people have, I eventually got my head around taking it. I was on the verge of ordering it, when my girlfriend called me after using my laptop (and saw my search history), and said "what is this propecia you are researching"? I explained it, but she then spent all day looking on websites like PropeciaHelp etc, because she wanted to check out if it were safe and had googled "propecia side effects". Oh dear. Given that we are planning to have children in a few years, she is now utterly adamant that I cannot risk this drug. No matter what I say to her, she has got it in her head that this drug could near castrate me, and i've now got to concede that it will cause her too much misery and fear if I take it, so I have decided not to.
I still wanted to work out some sort of regimen, and try something out so that I could see before my HT whether or not it was effective, so I continue afterwards. The regime I began in July was the following:
-Lasercomb 3x weekly
-Regenpure 2x weekly
-Revivogen shampoo & conditioner daily
-Revivogen topical nightly
-Emu oil nightly
-Saw palmetto / Beta Sistosteral / Nettle leaf tablets daily
-Tocotrienol tablet daily
I have no doubt that many on this forum will say that this is all snake oil (except regenpure, because of the Keto), and this is going to do nothing but hurt my wallet. But after my research, I decided this was the best "natural" approach I could take, before considering the only other "proven" treatment i.e. minoxidl. I am a little averse about this however, because of the sheds I read it creates, and how it can age the skin (I take great care in preserving my skin, which is in very good condition & the area of my head I am a lot more proud of..).
After 2 months of that regimen, I certainly haven't lost any more hair, and my hair looks healthier..but as to whether it is doing anything, i've no idea. It's certainly helped me feel like I am at least trying something, which helps me chill out about my hairloss somewhat.
I have looked at future treatments, like Hair Multiplication, Histogen, Replicel, and it's comforting that I live in an age whereby some sort of "cure" is around the corner. I hope that in 5 years time, I could use one of these to address any further loss I have suffered - I doubt I will be willing to go under the knife again. One scar will be enough.
One thing I have learnt though, is that nobody, male or female, can understand how badly hairloss affects someone, unless they go through it themselves. My girlfriend, who is blessed with fantastic hair, couldn't understand why I was so distressed. I finally got her to at least understand to a degree, when I got her to close her eyes, and imagine if over a course of 6 months, she woke up with gradually thinning hair. Only when she visualised this properly, did she finally see why it was so damaging. I feel so much for the many guys out there who have suffered hair loss far more severe than I have - I don't know what state I would have been in if I lost my hair to a point of NW5+ in my 20's.
Like you all, I hope that this curse upon men (& women) is one day cured. There's a lot of people out there who were destined to be happy & successful people, if they didn't have to watch there appearance deteriorate via their follicles.
Some questions I have for the forum, if those wiser than me would be willing to offer their thoughts:
-Is keratene alphactive retard any use at all? I have read that it is supposed to lower DHT like Propecia, but without the sides? For the reasons given, I don't think i'll be able to take propecia, but would KAR be any use at all? It has some clinical studies and doctors backing it, which is more than others can say.
-It is extremely important to me, that nobody knows I have had a HT. Only my girlfriend knows, and hopefully will know. I have booked 3 weeks off after my operation, of which the first half will be rest, and the 2nd half holiday. My aim is to go back to work with everybody none the wiser. Is this realistic? How have those who have had HT's on here, and wanted to hide it, managed. Particularly regarding the scar.
-What is the most promising treatment for the future out there? Replicel, Histogen, Hair Mult, anything else?
And just as a final note, the crowd-funding idea for baldness research looks fantastic. I for one, would be more than happy to contribute, as I believe the millions around the world would do to. It just needs promotion, and my respect to those who are leading the way.
All the best,
PB.
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Originally Posted by PaddyBateman
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