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  1. #1
    Senior Member PatientlyWaiting's Avatar
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    Default Genuinely depressed because of hair loss/no social life/no confidence with girls

    I started balding at 16, i'm 24 now and NW3. I've been NW3 since 19, but also went in to the NW4 realm for a year or two. Dutasteride has given me back the NW3, which is not satisfying at all. I have also suffered from alopecia areata since 20 years old, which makes my head look even worse. I've had to battle these two hair losses for a while. My social life is non-existent, I come up with every excuse in the book, to people/girls/classmates that invite me to meet up. But ultimately the only reason is: hair loss, and the comments that come with it, the lack of confidence, being with a female friend and watching a guy with a nice head of hair pass by us, knowing full well he has a better chance at scoring her than me...the balding friend.

    I have no confidence with girls...I am nothing but a friend, all the time. Good news is, yeah, girls are friendly towards me, but that's all. Some say i'm handsome/cute/whatever. But ultimately I am the friend, the guy who gets friend zoned, and I do it to myself, I am afraid of them seeing what is concealed under the Toppik, so I keep them at a distance and lie to them, to not hang out, I tell them I am shy and anti-social but they know I am lying, they can tell I am friendly and they ultimately think I don't like them, when I like em a lot. With all the competition I have with guys with hair in college, of course i'll be sidelined and only be a last resort, if they ever see the real me.

    "Oh yeah, I can't find any one now, I can talk to that nice balding classmate...ugh, I have to lower my standards that much!? No way, i'll keep looking, there has to be a good guy with hair out there."

  2. #2
    Senior Member PatientlyWaiting's Avatar
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    I wish about 50% of my hair could regrow/thicken by the end of this year.

    Is that asking for too much?

  3. #3
    Senior Member PatientlyWaiting's Avatar
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    I wish to wake up with a full head of hair some day, preferably under my 30s.

  4. #4
    Senior Member PatientlyWaiting's Avatar
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    This site should have the option of username changes. I am no longer patiently waiting like I was 4 years ago at 20 years old when I signed up, I am now DesperatelyWaiting.

  5. #5
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    Being happy starts with just one decision - the decision to be happy no matter what.

    Some of us need to work harder than others but don't let that stop you.

  6. #6
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatientlyWaiting View Post
    I started balding at 16, i'm 24 now and NW3. I've been NW3 since 19, but also went in to the NW4 realm for a year or two. Dutasteride has given me back the NW3, which is not satisfying at all. I have also suffered from alopecia areata since 20 years old, which makes my head look even worse. I've had to battle these two hair losses for a while. My social life is non-existent, I come up with every excuse in the book, to people/girls/classmates that invite me to meet up. But ultimately the only reason is: hair loss, and the comments that come with it, the lack of confidence, being with a female friend and watching a guy with a nice head of hair pass by us, knowing full well he has a better chance at scoring her than me...the balding friend.

    I have no confidence with girls...I am nothing but a friend, all the time. Good news is, yeah, girls are friendly towards me, but that's all. Some say i'm handsome/cute/whatever. But ultimately I am the friend, the guy who gets friend zoned, and I do it to myself, I am afraid of them seeing what is concealed under the Toppik, so I keep them at a distance and lie to them, to not hang out, I tell them I am shy and anti-social but they know I am lying, they can tell I am friendly and they ultimately think I don't like them, when I like em a lot. With all the competition I have with guys with hair in college, of course i'll be sidelined and only be a last resort, if they ever see the real me.

    "Oh yeah, I can't find any one now, I can talk to that nice balding classmate...ugh, I have to lower my standards that much!? No way, i'll keep looking, there has to be a good guy with hair out there."
    I am just getting back into dating after many years away so I might not have the best advise. However I have been asking for help and getting plenty of advise so maybe some of it will help you. Well I never was much of a believer in the "confidence" attribute because it is not logical and that is the way I think. However I am now convinced it is important to women because I have seen them bring this up too many times in the forums to believe otherwise. I have had low confidence in general and attempting to deal with it. What I am doing is trying not to think about the things I lack confidence in and think about the things I am confident in. Whether it's your job, hobby or sport, try to think about that and NOT your hair when you are meeting women. Just try to block it out and think of something you are confident about.

    I honestly don't see many women complaining about balding in the forums and at worst they say it depends on the guy and how he handles it . I have seen 2 fighting and the girl would say it to push his buttons but that is it honestly. I am not going to say it may not be a handicap(otherwise I may not have started back on propecia but I do not think it is an outright deal breaker.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by PatientlyWaiting View Post
    I started balding at 16, i'm 24 now and NW3. I've been NW3 since 19, but also went in to the NW4 realm for a year or two. Dutasteride has given me back the NW3, which is not satisfying at all. I have also suffered from alopecia areata since 20 years old, which makes my head look even worse. I've had to battle these two hair losses for a while. My social life is non-existent, I come up with every excuse in the book, to people/girls/classmates that invite me to meet up. But ultimately the only reason is: hair loss, and the comments that come with it, the lack of confidence, being with a female friend and watching a guy with a nice head of hair pass by us, knowing full well he has a better chance at scoring her than me...the balding friend.

    I have no confidence with girls...I am nothing but a friend, all the time. Good news is, yeah, girls are friendly towards me, but that's all. Some say i'm handsome/cute/whatever. But ultimately I am the friend, the guy who gets friend zoned, and I do it to myself, I am afraid of them seeing what is concealed under the Toppik, so I keep them at a distance and lie to them, to not hang out, I tell them I am shy and anti-social but they know I am lying, they can tell I am friendly and they ultimately think I don't like them, when I like em a lot. With all the competition I have with guys with hair in college, of course i'll be sidelined and only be a last resort, if they ever see the real me.

    "Oh yeah, I can't find any one now, I can talk to that nice balding classmate...ugh, I have to lower my standards that much!? No way, i'll keep looking, there has to be a good guy with hair out there."
    Hey, brother.

    I went through a good 8-9 months of this as well. I used school as a scapegoat to avoid going out with the guys or on dates with girls from work. I just genuinely did not want to do these simple things that I would be itching to do from age 12 to 24-ish. I was never like this before hair loss.

    I'm not going to say I'm all the way bounced back, but I've went on at least one date a week for ~2 months now with like 4 different girls. I still catch myself analyzing a hair that falls on the bar, when I should be focusing on the conversation. However, I do feel I'm doing a lot better.

    I've said this so many times that if you don't believe me, I'll understand: hit the gym, buy steezy clothes, and grow well-kept facial hair. The facial hair balances your face and you'll find yourself not looking at your hair in the mirror as much. The gym is endorphins, adds to your looks, blah, blah, blah. Clothes, to me, is an ego booster and I just enjoy the hell out of them; I love getting compliments on a new shirt or pair of suede oxfords.

    Do whatever you can to make yourself genuinely feel good in your own skin, even if for the short-term. Force yourself to be in a social position - with friends and/or women.

    Just get out there, man.

    We're all gonna make it.

  8. #8
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    I feel your pain bro, I'm in the same boat except I started balding slightly later. You are my balding brother so I'm going to tell it straight. There is no such thing as game. There is only looks. Money and status are an alternative backup way to get girls but it is not the same, as they will attract wh*res who will use you as a beta provider.

    Getting jacked is a great option but to reach the level you need to compensate for the NW3+ you need to use gear which will accelerate hair loss even more. Not to mention gear isnt good for you long term.

    In my view using nice clothes to make up for the balding doesnt work as the clothes that look good on a NW0/1 will not look good on a NW3.

    Having said all of the above, you can still get a nice girl (On the same level as you or a few points down) who will love you for who you are and you her, and you can still live a great and meaningful life. Its just going to be harder to find that right person.

    I am saying this as a realist as once we reach a NW3 (unless a shaved head suits you, normally these are the masculine jacked guys) then our days of slaying are over. The sooner you accept that and make peace with your looks, the sooner you will feel better and get on with your life.

    I hope that we all make it bro.

  9. #9
    Senior Member PatientlyWaiting's Avatar
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    Thanks for the advice, men and women.

  10. #10
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    I'm in the same boat as you, I started losing my hair in my mid-teens and its now become pretty obvious in my early twenties.

    It definitely takes away a huge chunk of confidence. I don't have a manly looking face or big beard so having a bald head looks really out of place. Girls don't look at me the same way they use to and I'm a lot more reserved and hesitant in social situations. It really ****ing sucks but you just have to man up. I was out at the mall the other day and I noticed a few guys my age with NW2s and 3s and they were out with their girlfriends just enjoying life. It is possible. You have to work at it. I'm trying to look in the mirror less and less these days and focus on improving me. I'm working out, studying, challenging myself with new things. I could just retreat to my room sit on the internet all day and cry about it but I want to do better.

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