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  1. #1
    Senior Member Cr779's Avatar
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    Default Almost got over it now anxiety is back in full force.

    So after a bad experience with propecia I resigned myself to my hair loss. Wasn't gonna bother with minox or anything else as it would only prolong the loss for a bit and I was afraid the shed would ruin what was left of my hairline. After a few months I really did stop caring, I don't even think I'll look that bad bald now, but I can still hide it almost completely.

    Now just last week I finally got myself my first girlfriend. She's way out of my league. And now suddenly my hair is making me more self conscious than I ever imagined. I'm so terrified she's going to notice, as it fairly quickly gets worse I'm not gonna be able to hide it in probably another 4-5 months. I'm scared shitless she's not going to find me attractive once she notices I'm thinning and that she might lose interest in me. Anyone else ever get anxious about what a significant other thinks about their declining hairline?

  2. #2
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    Bro change your mind set! Never think a girl is 'way out of your league'. You're the catch, she's lucky yo have you. There are two ways to go about this. Fight your hairloss battle tooth and nail and just be accepting of whatever the outcome may be, or simply embrace your baldness and shave your head when it becomes noticeable. Do it with confidence!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Cr779's Avatar
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    Sorry, by leauge I meant in terms of physical attractiveness. She's really, really pretty. Like everyone I know is telling me how lucky I am. But other than that yeah, I'm a decent catch myself, just only average looking. But I'm still afraid as a 21 year old girl she's gonna get majorly turned off when she see's that I'm balding. And she's head over heels about me so the idea that that might change turns my stomach.

    I mean lets face it, some girls really don't find bald men attractive, what if she doesn't? I mean she'd never leave me over it, but it could be a turn off, which could lead to the relationship declining. Or maybe not, I dunno like I said I thought I was over this and now suddenly I'm worrying all night. Things are just so good with this girl and my hair loss has always been my Achilles heel.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dan26 View Post
    Bro change your mind set! Never think a girl is 'way out of your league'. You're the catch, she's lucky yo have you. There are two ways to go about this. Fight your hairloss battle tooth and nail and just be accepting of whatever the outcome may be, or simply embrace your baldness and shave your head when it becomes noticeable. Do it with confidence!
    Dan, big post.

  5. #5
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    Self love. Time to culture; she likes you for you. Enjoy your time together.

    Your living with too many 'what if's'. Get out of this mindset, appreciate the present.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by clandestine View Post
    Dan, big post.
    Young balding brothers unite.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cr779 View Post
    Sorry, by leauge I meant in terms of physical attractiveness. She's really, really pretty. Like everyone I know is telling me how lucky I am. But other than that yeah, I'm a decent catch myself, just only average looking. But I'm still afraid as a 21 year old girl she's gonna get majorly turned off when she see's that I'm balding. And she's head over heels about me so the idea that that might change turns my stomach.

    I mean lets face it, some girls really don't find bald men attractive, what if she doesn't? I mean she'd never leave me over it, but it could be a turn off, which could lead to the relationship declining. Or maybe not, I dunno like I said I thought I was over this and now suddenly I'm worrying all night. Things are just so good with this girl and my hair loss has always been my Achilles heel.
    If there is one thing I can relay to you, that you must understand, it's that you cannot let losing your hair change you, and change how you are with your girl. If you do, your relationship may spiral, and it will be all your fault. Don't do that to yourself brother. Just keep being who you are and acting true to yourself, and if she doesn't feel the same about you, simply because of a physical change you make, believe me the relationship was destined to fail at some point.

    I know what you are experiencing, and it is a scary prospect; to have someone you care deeply about, and who you believe cares deeply about you, reject you because of a physical change you can't even control!

  7. #7
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    Not sure if I'm misreading it, but if you think don't look bad bald why don't you just shave it?

  8. #8
    Senior Member Cr779's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morbo View Post
    Not sure if I'm misreading it, but if you think don't look bad bald why don't you just shave it?
    Because at the point I'm at I'm only really a NW2 on my right side and a NW2 with thinning into the NW3 area on the left. My hair is really curly so with some basic styling after the shower I look like I have zero hair loss, but it's getting harder to do this every month, need to take more time styling and some days just don't look as good as others. So she has no idea I have any hair loss. But I'm paranoid because all it will take for her to notice is to catch me just after the shower or if she tries to run her hands through my hair. The reason I don't shave is because one, not ready to do that yet, I want to enjoy being able to pull this off a bit longer and two because we just started dating and I don't want to make a drastic change to my appearance like that. I know she loves me curly hair, she used to say so before we were dating, we've been friends for just over a year now.

    Everyone is probably right and she's an incredibly down to earth girl who probably wouldn't even think about leaving me over this. But I know she'd want her first real boyfriend to have nice hair and you know be young looking, I don't think young girls dream about dating a guy who's receding at 21. And I want to be able to be that for her.

    Thanks for the positive replies guys, I can't let this be a set back and take me back to where I was last year, I'm finally moving on with my life.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Kayman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cr779 View Post
    Because at the point I'm at I'm only really a NW2 on my right side and a NW2 with thinning into the NW3 area on the left. My hair is really curly so with some basic styling after the shower I look like I have zero hair loss, but it's getting harder to do this every month, need to take more time styling and some days just don't look as good as others. So she has no idea I have any hair loss. But I'm paranoid because all it will take for her to notice is to catch me just after the shower or if she tries to run her hands through my hair. The reason I don't shave is because one, not ready to do that yet, I want to enjoy being able to pull this off a bit longer and two because we just started dating and I don't want to make a drastic change to my appearance like that. I know she loves me curly hair, she used to say so before we were dating, we've been friends for just over a year now.

    Everyone is probably right and she's an incredibly down to earth girl who probably wouldn't even think about leaving me over this. But I know she'd want her first real boyfriend to have nice hair and you know be young looking, I don't think young girls dream about dating a guy who's receding at 21. And I want to be able to be that for her.

    Thanks for the positive replies guys, I can't let this be a set back and take me back to where I was last year, I'm finally moving on with my life.
    The problem here is you're trying to hide something from someone you're going to be getting very intimate with, as your gf she's going to want to get in that shower with you sooner or later (lucky you) and also she's going to be going to your hair with her hands sooner or later, what will you do flinch away? That's a bad idea. Here's what you do Cr, be brave and go to a barbers and get a shorter hair cut nothing drastic, a shave on the back and sides and a trim on the top will do it but short enough so you're not trying to hide your hairline anymore, she'll more than likely say it looks good which it most likely will (shorter hair makes the receded hairline look less noticeable), then sport that for a couple of months, then go back to the barber and get that cut again, but this time a bit shorter than last time, then when you go back again in another 2 months get it shorter still and so on, eventually you'll be down to a cropped style and neither her or anyone else will make a fuss because everyone (including you) is already used to seeing you with short shaved down hair so you need never cross that "oh shit i have to shave it now my appearance will change drastically what will everyone say?" bridge. Hope that helps.

  10. #10
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    She's going to find out sooner or later so whatever happens, happens. But if she see's that your hair loss really bothers you then that might not be a good thing. My bet is that she'll be really understanding about it. Girls usually aren't as shallow about stuff like this. Just treat her well and she won't see anything else.

    Your only other choice is to dump her before she finds out about your hair which would be retarded or get her pregnant so that she can never leave you (joking).

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