I have not improved in a year....

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  • Aames
    Inactive
    • Nov 2012
    • 626

    I have not improved in a year....

    What's the point in trying? My addictions and obsessions have consumed me. I have stagnated. Each day consists of me failing and wasting my life away until it's time to sleep and restart the cycle. This is the best I can be and I don't like it. I think I'm in need of a rebirth as a different person that has the ability to cope with life. This form is doomed to being abnormal and incomplete. My window of opportunity to make it has all but closed. My time is up. I can't go on like this anymore.

    Winston, I'm sorry if this violates the rules. I think you're a good man despite the bad attitude that I've shown towards you. You don't have to moderate me; you won't have to deal with my insolent posts anymore.

    Remember brahs, I love you and hope we all make it someday.
  • DannyBoyy7
    Senior Member
    • Sep 2012
    • 102

    #2
    Dude just calm down and take a deep breath you can get threw it we all had days where we feel like shit etc its ok dont let it win its just hair trust me i been there i use to worry but its not worth it dont waste your life over something so petty.

    Comment

    • mature
      Member
      • May 2013
      • 45

      #3
      Originally posted by Aames
      What's the point in trying? My addictions and obsessions have consumed me. I have stagnated. Each day consists of me failing and wasting my life away until it's time to sleep and restart the cycle. This is the best I can be and I don't like it. I think I'm in need of a rebirth as a different person that has the ability to cope with life. This form is doomed to being abnormal and incomplete. My window of opportunity to make it has all but closed. My time is up. I can't go on like this anymore.

      Winston, I'm sorry if this violates the rules. I think you're a good man despite the bad attitude that I've shown towards you. You don't have to moderate me; you won't have to deal with my insolent posts anymore.

      Remember brahs, I love you and hope we all make it someday.
      I thought you were going to read that book, have you not tried seeing through what we talked about before, why the rant about self image and stuff you know is false. You are more then well you just need to absolve and drop the self judgement and opinions.

      Comment

      • BigThinker
        Senior Member
        • Oct 2012
        • 1507

        #4
        Originally posted by Aames
        What's the point in trying? My addictions and obsessions have consumed me. I have stagnated. Each day consists of me failing and wasting my life away until it's time to sleep and restart the cycle. This is the best I can be and I don't like it. I think I'm in need of a rebirth as a different person that has the ability to cope with life. This form is doomed to being abnormal and incomplete. My window of opportunity to make it has all but closed. My time is up. I can't go on like this anymore.

        Winston, I'm sorry if this violates the rules. I think you're a good man despite the bad attitude that I've shown towards you. You don't have to moderate me; you won't have to deal with my insolent posts anymore.

        Remember brahs, I love you and hope we all make it someday.
        Chill, brah. You're being irrational. I know you're being irrational, because I myself can be very irrational at times.

        The "cocoon" shit that Highlander infected you with is no good. There isn't some magic timeline that certain personal changes need to be met. Every day you should be partaking in routine practices such as work, school, exercise, socializing, etc which are all a form of self-bettering in and of themselves.

        In your down time, absorb knowledge from books, learn an instrument, draw, or do whatever you feel is allowing you to "better" yourself, secondarily.

        You're way too young to be pissing away these years of your life. You're way too young to do whatever you're insinuating in your post. The only true defeat would be to give-up.

        Comment

        • Notcoolanymore
          Senior Member
          • Jun 2013
          • 2260

          #5
          Geez, I thought I was taking this stuff bad. Hopefully things have calmed down for you since starting this thread.

          Comment

          • 25 going on 65
            Senior Member
            • Sep 2010
            • 1476

            #6
            Originally posted by Aames
            What's the point in trying? My addictions and obsessions have consumed me. I have stagnated. Each day consists of me failing and wasting my life away until it's time to sleep and restart the cycle. This is the best I can be and I don't like it. I think I'm in need of a rebirth as a different person that has the ability to cope with life. This form is doomed to being abnormal and incomplete. My window of opportunity to make it has all but closed. My time is up. I can't go on like this anymore.

            Winston, I'm sorry if this violates the rules. I think you're a good man despite the bad attitude that I've shown towards you. You don't have to moderate me; you won't have to deal with my insolent posts anymore.

            Remember brahs, I love you and hope we all make it someday.
            Sometimes it takes longer than a year to improve. Do not be dumb and think your life is over in your early-mid 20s. I felt that way for like 2-3 years and srsly contemplated killing myself at times. If you hang in there your best years are yet to come

            Dude you seem even more aware of how to improve/maintain aesthetics than I was at your age. If you get your shit together and keep maintaining you can easily be a major slayer by your late 20s if not sooner. Trust me on that, I have been in your shoes before or at least in a very similar place

            Sometimes all you can do is survive to the next day....I did just that for years. Would go to bed just like you, hoping tomorrow would be the start of a new life, only to do the same stuff all over again. But you will pull out of it if you just survive.
            That is all you have to do right now. Survive. Everything else follows from that

            Comment

            • 25 going on 65
              Senior Member
              • Sep 2010
              • 1476

              #7
              ...& I just realized that might sound strange coming from me since I am very depressive at times and use this forum to vent. But all I will say is, 2-3 years ago, my life only varied between bad and terrible. Now it is sometimes bad, sometimes good, sometimes boring, sometimes great. And that is how life is supposed to be (minus the depressive episodes of course). Sometimes you just have to go through some real bullsh*t to get there
              But it does get better.

              Comment

              • Aames
                Inactive
                • Nov 2012
                • 626

                #8
                Originally posted by mature
                I thought you were going to read that book, have you not tried seeing through what we talked about before, why the rant about self image and stuff you know is false. You are more then well you just need to absolve and drop the self judgement and opinions.
                You're right, man. I bought it last night and will read it and fully digest it after I finish my current book.
                Originally posted by BigThinker
                Chill, brah. You're being irrational. I know you're being irrational, because I myself can be very irrational at times.

                The "cocoon" shit that Highlander infected you with is no good. There isn't some magic timeline that certain personal changes need to be met. Every day you should be partaking in routine practices such as work, school, exercise, socializing, etc which are all a form of self-bettering in and of themselves.

                In your down time, absorb knowledge from books, learn an instrument, draw, or do whatever you feel is allowing you to "better" yourself, secondarily.

                You're way too young to be pissing away these years of your life. You're way too young to do whatever you're insinuating in your post. The only true defeat would be to give-up.
                Big, thanks for your continued words of support, as always. It has just been especially hard for me lately. All of my obsessive behaviors have pretty much isolated me completely and I am going insane being alone all of the time. I no longer have anyone to reach out to. I had a great network of friends and I was on the path to being a pretty social person. Then, I found bb.com and it has been a downward spiral ever since then. I now hate those that have shunned me although I do not blame them for doing so. I have brought this upon myself. I need to find a new group of friends when I move, but my insecurities must be eliminated by then. I feel that aesthetics are my only hope now and it is placing a lot of pressure on me to succeed. I worry about what happens if I were to fail.

                Originally posted by 25 going on 65
                Sometimes it takes longer than a year to improve. Do not be dumb and think your life is over in your early-mid 20s. I felt that way for like 2-3 years and srsly contemplated killing myself at times. If you hang in there your best years are yet to come

                Dude you seem even more aware of how to improve/maintain aesthetics than I was at your age. If you get your shit together and keep maintaining you can easily be a major slayer by your late 20s if not sooner. Trust me on that, I have been in your shoes before or at least in a very similar place

                Sometimes all you can do is survive to the next day....I did just that for years. Would go to bed just like you, hoping tomorrow would be the start of a new life, only to do the same stuff all over again. But you will pull out of it if you just survive.
                That is all you have to do right now. Survive. Everything else follows from that
                Originally posted by 25 going on 65
                ...& I just realized that might sound strange coming from me since I am very depressive at times and use this forum to vent. But all I will say is, 2-3 years ago, my life only varied between bad and terrible. Now it is sometimes bad, sometimes good, sometimes boring, sometimes great. And that is how life is supposed to be (minus the depressive episodes of course). Sometimes you just have to go through some real bullsh*t to get there
                But it does get better.
                Thank you, 25. Your words inspire me to keep trying. I just feel as if the last two years of my life have been a bad nightmare. I hope everyday that tomorrow starts the beginning of my new journey into happiness but it has yet to come. Perhaps tomorrow will be that day. Thanks again, brah.

                Comment

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