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  1. #21
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post





    So what's wrong with being direct and to the point? If there is no attraction, no reason to continue to pursue. Regardless, of the reason, it taught me to be more reserved and not get my hopes up too soon

    Think you know women? Well here is another one to figure out. A few weeks back I met (online only) a *potentially* interesting girl. We do have some geeky common interests and strike up a nice normal conversation about our mutual interests. After about a week or so I didn't hear from her till today. She apologized for being slow about responding saying she thought she had and then realized that she had not. Truth or Fiction? And does it matter?

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpb47 View Post
    So what's wrong with being direct and to the point? If there is no attraction, no reason to continue to pursue. Regardless, of the reason, it taught me to be more reserved and not get my hopes up too soon

    Think you know women? Well here is another one to figure out. A few weeks back I met (online only) a *potentially* interesting girl. We do have some geeky common interests and strike up a nice normal conversation about our mutual interests. After about a week or so I didn't hear from her till today. She apologized for being slow about responding saying she thought she had and then realized that she had not. Truth or Fiction? And does it matter?
    I know I am not answering your question (attaching meaning to a women's action would only be speculation, and probably incorrect speculation in my case) but I feel I must provide for you some context on online dating. Remember that on those sites, men DRASTICALLY outnumber women. Women receive hundreds of messages a day and have their pick of the litter. It is very hard to stand out and very easy to get lost in the see of responses no matter how attractive or interesting you are. Additionally, many women keep accounts there to validate themselves and receive attention that they do not receive in real life; they may not even be interested in dating anyone. If you don't believe me, make a female account and watch how many messages you get. It's a very interesting and eye-opening social experiment.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aames View Post
    I know I am not answering your question (attaching meaning to a women's action would only be speculation, and probably incorrect speculation in my case) but I feel I must provide for you some context on online dating. Remember that on those sites, men DRASTICALLY outnumber women. Women receive hundreds of messages a day and have their pick of the litter. It is very hard to stand out and very easy to get lost in the see of responses no matter how attractive or interesting you are. Additionally, many women keep accounts there to validate themselves and receive attention that they do not receive in real life; they may not even be interested in dating anyone. If you don't believe me, make a female account and watch how many messages you get. It's a very interesting and eye-opening social experiment.
    Lol I can vouch this. Me and smoe buddies made fake girls accounts before and trolled dudes. Its pretty fun atually especially if you find people you know.

  4. #24
    Senior Member Shan's Avatar
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    Highlander, what do you know girls, you ****ing psycho. The closest you ever came to a women was your mum.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpb47 View Post
    3) She later told me when we met, while a good fit on paper, there was nothing else there. What does this mean exactly?
    She didn't feel the chemistry. She sounds like she probably is an academic snob. These folks have a more difficult time recognizing chemistry because they overthink everything.

    It's not that "it's you" and it's not that "it's her". You are just not a good fit for each other. Move on and don't worry about it. You will know a good fit when it happens.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Exodus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post





    I know he's screwed in the head and I hope you get back on the dating scene, but, this post is hilarious!

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by mpb47 View Post
    So what's wrong with being direct and to the point?
    You exposed insecurities in a culture where men are expected to be strong, withstanding, and often uncaring -- especially early in the courting process.

    Earlier you figure that out, the better.

  8. #28
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aames View Post
    I know I am not answering your question (attaching meaning to a women's action would only be speculation, and probably incorrect speculation in my case) but I feel I must provide for you some context on online dating. Remember that on those sites, men DRASTICALLY outnumber women. Women receive hundreds of messages a day and have their pick of the litter. It is very hard to stand out and very easy to get lost in the see of responses no matter how attractive or interesting you are. Additionally, many women keep accounts there to validate themselves and receive attention that they do not receive in real life; they may not even be interested in dating anyone. If you don't believe me, make a female account and watch how many messages you get. It's a very interesting and eye-opening social experiment.
    Oh yes I do believe you. When I first got on my first site, I asked for advice and that is one of the first things people said. And my female friend that was helping me said the same thing. And several people told me I was really lucky to meet someone so quickly..like 2 weeks after I joined is when she started contacting me. And yea I think you are right about the validation part, least when it comes to girl #1 as it doesn't make sense that a smart pretty girl is stlll at this very moment trying to find someone. The first site is still trying to match us up after all this time, kinda frustrating to see her every time I log on.

  9. #29
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Highlander View Post
    Because that's not how human interaction works. It's more subtle than that. Let her actions tell you if she's attracted to you. Asking someone direct questions like that is incredibly confrontational and puts the woman in a really awkward position.
    Well that is a problem for me as I have always had trouble reading girl's intentions. I will think they like me and they want nothing to do with me. I don't think they like me and later find out they got miffed because I didn't do anything. The girl I have mentioned in several mpb threads (she likes it) is a good example. We knew each other as kids. We found each other again in college. Spend hours in her car catching up. Have lots of classes together always in same group in fact she is the one who wanted to do a class group presentation on mpb meds but that is a story for another day. She tells me all kinds of personal stuff - like she thinks she is fat and is saving for lipo . She is not fat at all -just had nice normal boobs/figure. She invites me to her apartment, we have a good time catching up but after while I get the feeling she is uncomfortable so I figure she is not into me and leave it at that. Well fast forward a couple of years later I hear through the grapevine she was made that I never pursued her. So I guess I got tired of trying to be a mind reader ....


    The main thing is to not be a beta male. Don't grovel to a woman and seek her acceptance. Be your own man and let her come to you. That's the difference between alpha and beta. And ultimately, women don't want a man they can boss around. It's in their blood to want to be dominated. Don't let any "empowered" woman tell you otherwise.
    Well truth be told, I don't want to be an alpha nor a beta. Maybe this is weird but I have always thought relationships should be a 50-50 thing where no one controls the other. I know some women do not like this and that is ok as they are not for me.

    I've never attractive a girl by doing shit like what you did. On the other hand literally doing what I want, being short with girls, not paying much attention to them, being who I am and so on have had me approached countless times. Now, this could be partly looks based, but the point is you want THEM to be attracted TO you.
    Well some of what you say has worked for me in the past , strictly by accident. A couple of times I ignored the girl , not to be rude, but didn't think I had a chance so did not want to waste any effort. I think if I tried to do it intentionally , it wouldn't work

    Cliffs: Don't fight for their attraction, instead make them want to be attracted to you for who you are.
    Yea just wish it was that easy. I just wish people didn't have to play games to get things going. I am not that way, but it sure seems like that is how things work.

  10. #30
    Senior Member mpb47's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy C View Post
    She didn't feel the chemistry. She sounds like she probably is an academic snob. These folks have a more difficult time recognizing chemistry because they overthink everything.

    It's not that "it's you" and it's not that "it's her". You are just not a good fit for each other. Move on and don't worry about it. You will know a good fit when it happens.
    Yea you are probably right...just wish It wouldn't have taken her months to tell me this

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