To those considering having kids...
Take this from me, someone who started balding a bit over a year ago at the age of 16: Don't
As sad as it may make some of you aspiring fathers feel, having a kid when you yourself have the MPB gene is unbelievably irresponsible. It's a curse you place upon your child that you cannot control. Nothing is worse than balding at a young age and not having your parents, the people who you always had there to help you get through things, be unable to do anything about it.
There's no substitute for looks at a young age. Not intelligence, not physique, not personality, nothing. You can reconcile your son that a man is more than his hair, which may be true, but it's a miserable existence. Losing your hair means you are losing your social worth. Going from good or even normal looking to abnormal is one of the worst things one can feel as a teenager. You lose out on so much opportunity simply because you're going through a process that signifies aging. No matter what you guys try and tell yourselves, balding at a young age is not normal, it's not okay, and it certainly is disgusting.
Don't think that I'm a guy with nothing going for him either. I have a girlfriend, I have several close friends, and I have been accepted to some very prestigious schools (including four Ivy leagues, with one of which being HYP, not mentioning which) with nearly all expenses paid. This is not to brag, in fact, it's the opposite. Even with all of these things going for me, I'm still miserable. I don't want to get up in the morning because I know it's a tiresome endeavor trying to deal with this debilitating condition. I currently have long hair and style it to conceal my receding hairline and thinning. While it works, it's a process that controls my whole day: I have to wear hats when I'm outside, even if it's for a brief moment, since the wind destroys my hair. I don't go on rollercoasters anymore. I can't even meet with people without elaborate styling - it's a nightmare.
And please, to all the "Buzz it" guys out there, understand that buzzing your head at a young age, with a receding hairline, is one of the dumbest things you can do. Nobody looks normal with that style. It doesn't look good. No one is sincere with the "compliments" so many of you claim to get.
What's more, women are certainly more shallow than men. Unattractive women are ignored by men, but unattractive men are ridiculed by women. A woman hates an ugly man. Hates. Not pity, or sorrow, or indifference, pure hatred. I've seen many kids my age get ostracized simply because of their looks, whereas persons with worse morals are accepted simply because they look normal or are attractive. Don't think personality matters that much at this age - it doesn't. Sure, you can coerce a girl to like you if you're persistent enough, but an attractive man will have to do much, much, much less work to get a girl, as well as get that girl to be loyal to him.
So please, aspiring fathers, don't subdue your children to this. I'm expecting a lot of backlash from people who claim balding isn't all that bad (ironically despite the fact that they're on this site). Understand that you're living in denial. It is bad, maybe not the worst thing, but certainly bad enough to ruin one's self esteem, especially at a young age. I've talked to older men who claim that they've gotten over it, even though many of them wear hats everywhere and try and style their hair to cover their bald spots. Don't allow your fragile ego and attempts at proving you aren't insecure ruin someone else's life.
Also, please don't tell me to "Get over it." I know that I'm going to have to, I'm making steps everyday towards that. I'll never "Get over it" fully though, it's impossible. Just realize that if you have a son who will experience this crap, he will certainly blame you, and he will be 100% justified in doing so considering you've read this.
I mean no offense or disrespect. But you're 16. Please do not talk about what people who are actually living Real Life should or should not do.
High School and hell even college is so far removed from Real Life it isn't even worth discussing how it relates.
I'm not 16, that's when I started balding.
Originally Posted by NotBelievingIt
And what exactly do you mean by "real life?" If you think people in "real life" aren't shallow or care about hair then you're sorely mistaken. Society has made is very obvious that attractive people are treated much better than unattractive people. Certain traits (ie. height, facial aesthetics, hair) are essential in differentiating one's self from competition when it comes to succeeding. If you look at statistics for CEOs, many of them are over 6' despite the fact that the average height is clearly below that. Attractive people receive less harsh sentencing in prison trials, receive beneficial treatment in job applications, etc... To claim that once you leave college humans all of a sudden change is ridiculous.
Seek psychological help. You are seriously disturbed. For someone supposedly as intelligent as you claim to be, you suffer from irrationality. I started balding at 15 and it sucked but it hasn't ruined my life. Your life is what you make of it. If you're going to act irrationally and curse your situation, then you are going to be depressed. Your problem isn't balding; it's your warped perspective on life. I'm not telling you to get over balding because that is not your real problem. You're irrational response to balding is a symptom of your psychological issues that probably stem from not loving yourself for who you are. Please seek help.
I understand you're going through something no kid should have to. That sucks. Nor am I saying it is easier to deal with at an older age. Nor am I saying people will treat you differently necessarily.
Real Life is when you actually deal with mature, rational people. That's a rare thing in high school and college. Tons of kids enter college hanging onto the idea of the clique they were in in high school. Some will find that same mentality and keep it alive far longer then they should, others get a rude awakening that they are not in fact, cool.
Yes, if you aren't a good looking person AND you are losing your hair you've been double whammied by your genetics.
You bash the idea of buzzing your hair, yet you complain about having long hair and the work it takes to conceal your loss. The point of buzzing/keeping it short is to get over the bad look that trying to conceal creates. You spend an inordinate amount of time on the very thing you hate.
Before we go any further...are you sure it is even genetic and not the result of something else that can be permanently corrected?
Thinning hits on it. You are depressed yet do not openly acknowledge it.
Please see my thread linking to a piece about being miserable.
Bro, i can totally mirror all your sentiments!. The fact that remains true is that
looks = social superiority. Period. No one should have to bald so young, its unfair.
I wouldn't say that I need psychological help. I do in fact love myself, though I acknowledge that there is a debilitating flaw in my design. The problem is that I'm unable to do much about it. Of course I'm going to have to make the most out of my situation, but if we're being entirely honest, losing aesthetics at a young age is a terrible hampering on one's potential, for all aspects of life.
Originally Posted by ThinningB420
I don't see how I have a warped perspective on life, either. Looks do in fact matter. To go bald at a young age is very abnormal and is not something that can be seen as anything but a total negative. Aside from this, I've never had issues with myself.
As far as you going bald at 15, I'm sorry to hear that, and it is in fact admirable that you are able to cope with it everyday, however, I've read that your hair loss was induced by accutane. Please understand that my situation is entirely different from yours, and thus it is difficult for you to understand.
I do admit that I am depressed, though not to the point of suicidal thoughts/bodily harm. I do openly acknowledge it, as it's the only thing currently stressing me in my life.
Originally Posted by NotBelievingIt
I understand that as we get older people mature, thought as humans we will always be shallow. Subconsciously, a man with a full head of hair is preferred over a man who is bald when almost all else is equal. This impacts my life more than just in regards to women, but career wise as well. Of course it's possible to compensate, but being at a disadvantage such as this when I will be competing against others with equal qualifications and no baldness is a major detriment.
Buzzing my hair isn't really an option, the look would not suit me. Interestingly enough, I grew my hair out long primarily because shorter hairstyles didn't fit me, though this was before I came to realize I was undergoing MBP.
And yeah, it is genetic. Every male on my mother and father's side is bald, some of who went bald in the teen years like myself. Once again, this stresses my point that if it is possible to realize what you will be putting your child through, it is best to not subject them to it. Unfortunately, my parents, for some reason, never gave this any thought, and still to this day don't take my issues seriously. My father, who wears a hat everywhere he goes and styles his hair to conceal his baldness, even goes so far as to criticize me for letting it bother me.
It's certainly unfair man, and it's not until someone experiences what looks can do that they can understand. When you look good, people assume you're smarter, have a great personality, are interesting, and are generally nicer. This is true for both genders as well.
Originally Posted by gldngamer
You admit you are depressed but don't think you need psychological help. That is classic denial. Take this from someone who sought help and to take on his problems rather than let them rule my life. Think what you want about situations being different but that's not really an excuse for your thoughts. I am being blunt with you because that is what you need to hear to get help and address your underlying issues so that you can enjoy life. You say you love yourself, yet you are depressed about your looks. You are more than your looks, don't forget that. You're a human being with talents, thoughts, and feelings and you make an impact on the lives of others that you can't even fathom.
While I am in agreement with some of what you're saying; you're ignoring the fact that baldness is "curable." Most just don't have the courage and foresight to do it. Duta+RU will allow upwards of 95% of people to maintain at baseline or even regrow. The key, however, is catching it early. By the sound of it you, like so many others, failed to catch it in its infancy and are now paying the price. Furthermore, by the time anyone's child reaches the age where MPB becomes an issue, there will almost certainly be even more effective and safer treatments available (if you don't like the duta/RU/spiro gamble).
Don't worry. Your obsession with baldness will get over once you grow up. I strarted balding at 13, yet girls kept fallin for me. Once even one of my sister's friend said to her that she would love to marry me. Some men look good bald, while others don't.
Originally Posted by ThisGayLife
By Lazoid in forum Men's Hair Loss: Start Your Own Topic
Last Post: 09-10-2012, 08:35 PM
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