I have no choice; I am entering cocoon mode.

[Aames]

Traits of a sociopath maybe? I've often thought to myself about this. It may be the aggitation of not being able to find out the reason why we must pretend to do the things we do. Its not always a bad thing though but I'm still in the midst of speculation even for myself.

Not sure that it's sociopathic. I've always been the type to psycho-analyze people and their behaviors -- to my own anguish. I can handle interacting in all the environments of my life without problem, regardless. However it does cause a lot of unnecessary anxiety.

Highlander said something that really made me think differently about psychological labels. I really don't see how it's justifiable to label people that think differently as having some sort of mental disorder. Dave Chappelle put it best when he said that "The worst thing to call somebody is crazy. It's dismissive. I don't understand this person. So they're crazy. That's bull****. These people are not crazy. They strong people. Maybe their environment is a little sick.”

Aames, the point is, you might not even HAVE MPB, it may just be a slightly mature hairline that doesn't go any further than a NW 1.5 when you're 30.

By then there'll be treatments, better treatments they aren't dangerous.

Hell, NO ONE would even notice recession like that, not even other balding guys.
Worst comes to worst, you get a HT in a decade.

But you've gone straight to the end game of hairloss drugs, aside from oral spiro there's nothing more hardcore than Duta, nothing.

Those guys over at propecia help aren't bullshitting either, they got endocrinologists reports, blood work etc, it isn't bro science.
Propecia, being that it only inhibits 5ar2, Duta inhibits 5ar1 and 5ar2, is far more hardcore.

You should consider how dangerous what you're doing is for so little potential gains.
If you were a NW3 or 4 who really couldn't stand it I wouldn't even comment.

It really makes me happy that a stranger cares about my health; truly, it does. But, I really do not believe I can stop now. I have mpb; with my family history, it is simply unavoidable. These drugs are the only chance I have at a normal, enjoyable life. I spent my entire childhood, including high-school, overweight. I hated myself and wasted the best years of my life being depressed and angry. I squandered my good looks and opportunities to have fun and be a regular teenager. I have no talents, no positive attributes, and no social network of any substance. My personality is tailored to who I am talking to; I have no idea who I really am. Everything about me is borrowed from celebrities, models, Zyzz, or some other person I look up to and want to emulate. My only chance of carving out an identity and having a fun life is through academics (which I am pretty successful at but I am afraid my lack of activities/volunteerism is hurting me, I need to address this but lack the confidence to put myself out there) and beauty. And to obtain this beauty and maximize my genetics, I need these drugs. There is no alternative that I can see.

[BigThinker]

] academics (which I am pretty successful at but I am afraid my lack of activities/volunteerism is hurting me, I need to address this but lack the confidence to put myself out there).

Internships/Work-study/Research assistant.

These are the most important things you can be doing in undergrad. GPA and standardized tests are important, but nothing trumps real life experience when pursuing grad school or a real life job. I was a 2.9 GPA undergrad who got into grad school with a 1300 on the GRE and tons of internships. Without them, I'd be some guy trying to get a job with a BS in Biology.

[Aames]

Internships/Work-study/Research assistant.

These are the most important things you can be doing in undergrad. GPA and standardized tests are important, but nothing trumps real life experience when pursuing grad school or a real life job. I was a 2.9 GPA undergrad who got into grad school with a 1300 on the GRE and tons of internships. Without them, I'd be some guy trying to get a job with a BS in Biology.

Yeah man, I really need to get going. I'm transferring to a new school next year so I will have to hit the ground running. I have a 3.9 gpa currently but it may drop a touch after this semester as I expect to get at least 1 B.

You seem much more intelligent than a 2.9 gpa would indicate; did you have hard courses or did you do a bit too much drinking?

[BigThinker]

You seem much more intelligent than a 2.9 gpa would indicate; did you have hard courses or did you do a bit too much drinking?

The latter. I lived for leisure. The house I lived in for like 3 years was a notorious party house across the street from the edge of campus. I smoked a lot of weed too, though I don't blame that. My first two years were the absolute worst, and I spent the second two trying to make up for it (which is very hard to do with GPA).

I think I was a 2.2 GPA at the end of my sophomore year, including a D in English 101 - so embarrassing. Once I was ready to apply myself, I starting taking graduate level immunology, biostatistics, etc. and scoring straight A's.

I was genuinely worried about where I was going to land once I got through my degree, so I knew I had to do things to bolster an unimpressive GPA. Now I'm wrapping up grad school (which I'm still surprised accepted me) and my undergrad GPA means absolutely nothing.

[itsmyhairs]

Good luck aames, I hope it works out for you and your health doesn't suffer.

If there are sides, DO NOT make the mistake of denying them to yourself, just taper off and get to the doctor.

[Proper]

I didn't mean offense when I mentioned sociopath traits. I believe sociopaths are the most successful, interesting kinds of people. Some people might not even realize they are sociopaths. I am jealous at their lack of empathy. I like the surge for energy rush that makes them act on impulse. There is nothing wrong with being a sociopath. There are apparently more sociopaths in the world that we just don't know of and we will never know cause they are good at disguising themselves. With so much at stake, they might as well live under the law then to oppose it. They're basically going through the motions like everyone else to fit in.

Sometimes I feel like I may be one but I do get angry and sad and happy. Not to a big extent but just enough to feel like something is affecting my mood despite whatever the ocassion. Like if I don't study for my exams, I don't really care. If I walk in and don't know shit, I'd leave everything blank and just take the zero... Much so like today and I feel nothing that I just failed tet another course. Its strange.

I think about my future. I think about my hair. I think about girls. I think about a lot of stuff. But when it comes down to the wire, am I just doing these things to keep my mind off of what I may not be thinking about? Which is nothing? I feel like I would care if I go bald. I feel like I would care if people judged me but would I really actually? Who knows? Lol

[baldozer]

Yeah man, I really need to get going. I'm transferring to a new school next year so I will have to hit the ground running. I have a 3.9 gpa currently but it may drop a touch after this semester as I expect to get at least 1 B.

You seem much more intelligent than a 2.9 gpa would indicate; did you have hard courses or did you do a bit too much drinking?

3.9 is a great GPA. I had 3.8 in my bachelors.

[Aames]

The latter. I lived for leisure. The house I lived in for like 3 years was a notorious party house across the street from the edge of campus. I smoked a lot of weed too, though I don't blame that. My first two years were the absolute worst, and I spent the second two trying to make up for it (which is very hard to do with GPA).

I think I was a 2.2 GPA at the end of my sophomore year, including a D in English 101 - so embarrassing. Once I was ready to apply myself, I starting taking graduate level immunology, biostatistics, etc. and scoring straight A's.

I was genuinely worried about where I was going to land once I got through my degree, so I knew I had to do things to bolster an unimpressive GPA. Now I'm wrapping up grad school (which I'm still surprised accepted me) and my undergrad GPA means absolutely nothing.

I'm glad things worked out for you. And at least you got to live the true "college experience." Wish I did that/could do that with the time I have left.

Good luck aames, I hope it works out for you and your health doesn't suffer.

If there are sides, DO NOT make the mistake of denying them to yourself, just taper off and get to the doctor.

Thanks, man. I had a very wrong impression of you. I hope something comes out soon that allows you to treat your loss effectively without these drugs that you despise so much.

I didn't mean offense when I mentioned sociopath traits. I believe sociopaths are the most successful, interesting kinds of people. Some people might not even realize they are sociopaths. I am jealous at their lack of empathy. I like the surge for energy rush that makes them act on impulse. There is nothing wrong with being a sociopath. There are apparently more sociopaths in the world that we just don't know of and we will never know cause they are good at disguising themselves. With so much at stake, they might as well live under the law then to oppose it. They're basically going through the motions like everyone else to fit in.

Sometimes I feel like I may be one but I do get angry and sad and happy. Not to a big extent but just enough to feel like something is affecting my mood despite whatever the ocassion. Like if I don't study for my exams, I don't really care. If I walk in and don't know shit, I'd leave everything blank and just take the zero... Much so like today and I feel nothing that I just failed tet another course. Its strange.

I think about my future. I think about my hair. I think about girls. I think about a lot of stuff. But when it comes down to the wire, am I just doing these things to keep my mind off of what I may not be thinking about? Which is nothing? I feel like I would care if I go bald. I feel like I would care if people judged me but would I really actually? Who knows? Lol

Yeah, no harm done, man. I get what you're saying about having little drive and motivation. I am being completely serious when I say that the only thing driving me anymore is narcissism. I simply hate the idea of being mediocre or of people having a negative impression of me. I take rejection and failure excruciatingly hard. Probably has a lot to do with why I try so little in social situations. Maybe you feel similarly deep down? All or nothing (i.e. death) sort of mentality, I guess.

3.9 is a great GPA. I had 3.8 in my bachelors.

Thanks, baldozer. I often forget that you are intelligent since you say so many things that enrage me.

[Proper]

Yeah, no harm done, man. I get what you're saying about having little drive and motivation. I am being completely serious when I say that the only thing driving me anymore is narcissism. I simply hate the idea of being mediocre or of people having a negative impression of me. I take rejection and failure excruciatingly hard. Probably has a lot to do with why I try so little in social situations. Maybe you feel similarly deep down? All or nothing (i.e. death) sort of mentality, I guess.

Yah man! All or nothing. That top notch feeling. I know its normal in social situations when I get laughed at sometimes for making mistakes like walking into a door or into a pole (not to that extreme) but unless I know that its gonna happen and I do it intentionally, then it'll piss me off if people laugh at me.

Like standing in line and some fat dude doesn't see me and backs into me and seeing my friends watching. They're probably laughing inside their minds but in mine, I just wanna tell them to **** themselves and beat the **** outta the fat guy but in the end, I'll be in the wrong. Or maybe someting alone the lines of liking a girl and having everyone know but the girl doesn't like me back in the end and everyone knowing that too. I mean it hasn't happened yet but these are the kinds of situations I think about and it makes me weary to try and be out there for people.

Other than that, I do attempt a lot of stupid shit even when not drunk just to say I've done it like I've hopped into the middle of the escalator trail and slid down metal trail in public. I always wanted to jump into this pool at the mall from the second floor (maybe one day). Snow angels in my boxers, etc. Maybe I'm doing it for attention? Maybe I'm just crazy? But theres a difference to me in my mind when its acts that make me feel humiliated or when I attempt humilating acts for attention.

[Aames]

Has anyone tried Starting Social Skills? I figure I can run it alongside Starting Strength.