A reprise on the importance of social well-being

[clandestine]

A reminder; a reprise.

I'm not terribly confident, I'll be the first to say this outright. For the uninitiated; I'm 21 years old, NW3 territory, and I don't love my head shape. I shave down to the bone. I'm an introvert by nature.

In light of our condition, we might often overlook the importance of maintaining and striving towards social interaction. Humans are social creatures. In the absence of self-love (self-esteem), which I imagine many of us suffer from as a because of hair loss, it's often easier to forgo going out and meeting up with others (social interaction).

I'm in university, and live amongst a large student population. Specifically, I feel a crippled sense of self holding myself back from striving towards reaching downtown, and associated partying endeavours.

We are our own worst critics.

Last weekend I went out, went to a bar, at some point stepped up and started talking to a girl. Ended up pulling, brought her home, and *****ed. This is in no way bragging, but a necessary example in an attempt to to communicate that we are often hardest on ourselves, considering looks and aesthetics.

Reality is self-generated. Ask yourself: Would you prefer to exude control over your life situation, regardless of notions regarding negative self-image, and take risks? Or would you prefer to remain stagnant, static and complacent, revelling in (self-generated) notions of self-pity and dismay?

There is potential in risk-taking. There is potential in the disregard of negative self-talk. Break the cycle, it starts with your thoughts. Next, action is necessary.

I plan on going out again tonight, as exams are finished. The results may not be the same, but the initiative remains consistent.

[BigThinker]

Heard that.

Hair loss *****ed with my confidence, and still does a bit. It's touch hanging in a pretentious crowd, where I'm already at a disadvantage for not being from a rich family.

Anyways, I basically totally stopped going out for a few months. Between school, work, and fretting over my appearance, I had no drive.

Very recently I've been forcing myself to go out, with similar results to you. Don't get me wrong, I still worry about my hair, but at least now I've proven that at NW3, I can survive. Not sure about NW4 though - heh.

[25 going on 65]

A reminder; a reprise.

I'm not terribly confident, I'll be the first to say this outright. For the uninitiated; I'm 21 years old, NW3 territory, and I don't love my head shape. I shave down to the bone. I'm an introvert by nature.

In light of our condition, we might often overlook the importance of maintaining and striving towards social interaction. Humans are social creatures. In the absence of self-love (self-esteem), which I imagine many of us suffer from as a because of hair loss, it's often easier to forgo going out and meeting up with others (social interaction).

I'm in university, and live amongst a large student population. Specifically, I feel a crippled sense of self holding myself back from striving towards reaching downtown, and associated partying endeavours.

We are our own worst critics.

Last weekend I went out, went to a bar, at some point stepped up and started talking to a girl. Ended up pulling, brought her home, and *****ed. This is in no way bragging, but a necessary example in an attempt to to communicate that we are often hardest on ourselves, considering looks and aesthetics.

Reality is self-generated. Ask yourself: Would you prefer to exude control over your life situation, regardless of notions regarding negative self-image, and take risks? Or would you prefer to remain stagnant, static and complacent, revelling in (self-generated) notions of self-pity and dismay?

There is potential in risk-taking. There is potential in the disregard of negative self-talk. Break the cycle, it starts with your thoughts. Next, action is necessary.

I plan on going out again tonight, as exams are finished. The results may not be the same, but the initiative remains consistent.

Excellent post

[Aames]

****, I wish I could be like you. Even when you are a NW3, you manage to be far braver than me. The very idea of going out and meeting people fills me with incredible anxiety. I cannot handle negative judgement/rejection.

[clandestine]

Heard that.

Hair loss *****ed with my confidence, and still does a bit. It's touch hanging in a pretentious crowd, where I'm already at a disadvantage for not being from a rich family.

Anyways, I basically totally stopped going out for a few months. Between school, work, and fretting over my appearance, I had no drive.

Very recently I've been forcing myself to go out, with similar results to you. Don't get me wrong, I still worry about my hair, but at least now I've proven that at NW3, I can survive. Not sure about NW4 though - heh.

When I hadn't buzzed my head last year, I was the same. Avoiding social situations, making excuses, becoming a recluse. Ultimately, not a fun way to go about things. I can empathize with the tiring aspect (&associated self-image, confidence issues,etc.); this condition can at times be very draining.

Also, be thankful you can take fin, BigThinker! Your hair still looks great from what I've seen, and your taking steps towards fighting hair loss. Keep on keeping on.

Excellent post

Thank you. Wrote from my phone on a greyhound, on my way home.

****, I wish I could be like you. Even when you are a NW3, you manage to be far braver than me. The very idea of going out and meeting people fills me with incredible anxiety. I cannot handle negative judgement/rejection.

I know where you're coming from. I've dealt with anxiety issues for much of my life. I've battled depression in younger years, and still experience 'trace amounts' of a depressive outlook on things which have shaped my personality into what it is today.

But the anxiety, that, I can especially relate to. Remember: how you react to judgement is up to you, and if often says more about the person judging than it does yourself.

But I strive for optimism, this is a choice. Much of what we do is choice.

[Exodus]

Agreed. Severe diffuse thinner, looks ****ing awful grown out. Shaved that shit down.

Comments at first, people did chuckle, but it died down once the look became me.

Months later I have a new girlfriend, Im hopefully on the verge of a better job.

Dare I say it, without hair, life is looking pretty good (obviously hair would be awesome).

But it's not the end all.

[mmmcoffee]

Glad to hear some of you guys are getting over it. I still worry about my hair loss too and get down on certain days but am beginning to not care so much. More power to us! I am nw 2.5-3 but can style my hair to make it look like I'm not balding. It's annoying though and am considering just buzzing regardless even though it'll look a bit worse

[BigThinker]

Glad to hear some of you guys are getting over it. I still worry about my hair loss too and get down on certain days but am beginning to not care so much. More power to us! I am nw 2.5-3 but can style my hair to make it look like I'm not balding. It's annoying though and am considering just buzzing regardless even though it'll look a bit worse

Our hair situations sound identical. As long as the light isn't bright, no would would suspect anything more than NW2 (although I doubt they'd call it that ).

But, like you said, it's comforting to read about guys getting over buzzing their hair since I myself may be there someday.

[drybone]

Reality is self-generated. Ask yourself: Would you prefer to exude control over your life situation, regardless of notions regarding negative self-image, and take risks? Or would you prefer to remain stagnant, static and complacent, revelling in (self-generated) notions of self-pity and dismay?

.

This is an excellent point. None of us would be on this site if we were wallowing in self pity. We are here to do something about our situation.

And in the end, whether we are successful at fixing our hair or not, the fact that we tried , and is the point to everything we do in life.

We do define our own reality, and we can choose to deny reality, or we can choose to see reality but cry and stamp our feet about it.

Or we can embrace it, and do the best we can, for God gave us brains to use.

[wr985]

A reminder; a reprise.

I'm not terribly confident, I'll be the first to say this outright. For the uninitiated; I'm 21 years old, NW3 territory, and I don't love my head shape. I shave down to the bone. I'm an introvert by nature.

In light of our condition, we might often overlook the importance of maintaining and striving towards social interaction. Humans are social creatures. In the absence of self-love (self-esteem), which I imagine many of us suffer from as a because of hair loss, it's often easier to forgo going out and meeting up with others (social interaction).

I'm in university, and live amongst a large student population. Specifically, I feel a crippled sense of self holding myself back from striving towards reaching downtown, and associated partying endeavours.

We are our own worst critics.

Last weekend I went out, went to a bar, at some point stepped up and started talking to a girl. Ended up pulling, brought her home, and *****ed. This is in no way bragging, but a necessary example in an attempt to to communicate that we are often hardest on ourselves, considering looks and aesthetics.

Reality is self-generated. Ask yourself: Would you prefer to exude control over your life situation, regardless of notions regarding negative self-image, and take risks? Or would you prefer to remain stagnant, static and complacent, revelling in (self-generated) notions of self-pity and dismay?

There is potential in risk-taking. There is potential in the disregard of negative self-talk. Break the cycle, it starts with your thoughts. Next, action is necessary.

I plan on going out again tonight, as exams are finished. The results may not be the same, but the initiative remains consistent.

Great post, pretty much describes myself at moment, NW3 as well, 27 now and for years I had confidence issues associated with my hairline but cos its been that way for 6 years i've just accepted it now. Got on Rogaine and Fin recently to combat diffuse thinning on the crown.

Regular exercise and a good diet helps with your self image and since I took up DDP Yoga a month ago I've felt the best I have at any point in my life. It's all about taking control of your own self image, have confidence in yourself and people will barely notice a hairline.

[blowmeup]

Great post clandestine! Coming to terms with hair loss and other issues while you are young is what will put you over the top. It's a huge achievement that will set the tone for the rest of your life!

Living in self pity, and espousing the notion we are somehow genetically inferior because of hair loss, is a prime example how life's losers deal with adversity.

It was not easy for me being not so great looking and then being stricken with hair loss at a fairly early age, but it did not stop me from being very successful and getting married to a strikingly beautiful women who I met when she was just out of collage and I was really thinning on top.

Young good looking women will take notice and want to spend time with winners, not self loathing, socially retarted losers who can't come to terms with having average looks.

I bet most of the guys on this board are at least average or even slightly above average looking and don't even appreciate what they have to work with.

I would love for someone to comment and say how good I look, but I would much prefer someone to really admire me for my achievements and the fact that even though I have hair loss and I'm a little shorter than average, I still married a hot women and have built a beautiful life for myself.

When I see pictures of myself, I seldom like the way I look at first, but then I focus on the expression on my face and my smile and see that I was happy that day. That makes me feel successful and like a winner.

[StayThick]

I just wish I had more hair man. I'd like to say I'm above average in the look department, but having a receding hairline and thin hair has always affected my confidence. I'm in great shape, work-out consistently, but not a day goes by I don't think or get reminded about my fate to come.

We all can't be perfect, I get it. There are a lot of qualities I'm sure I have physically that other people wish they had, but I just shrug my shoulders and kick rocks when I see a jacked up, steroid injected dude at the gym with a hairline down to the brows..it's like why? Why me?

I still enjoy life, have a great gf...my only wish is to have all my hair back. The day a significant solution comes out to treat this monumental personal issue, will be the day I truly feel 100% confident, myself, and really enjoying life to the max without the stress induced by this. I just can't help the fact hairloss causes so much stress and anxiety for me.

[Henkeh91]

Wish I had the same confident as you. I'm 22 years with a really severe hair loss. NW5 or even NW6. Everyday is a struggle

[Exodus]

For me, buzzing it was the best choice I made. The only issue I have is initial reactions. I've learnt that you can't hide forever. But I guess it does come down to the whole if people can't accept you with hair then, are they worth it in the first place.

One side of balding is that it does show what really matters to people.

[steven42]

Just be happy with what you've got.