[QUOTE=mature;125427]I think I understand what you are saying. I should attach no importance to aesthetics as they are fleeting and not actually a representation of me? I can pursue them if I recognize my body as only a vessel and I separate my mental/emotional being from my physical being? You have really helped me think about things differently, mature. I have to thank you yet again for your detailed responses.
Has anyone successfully beaten BDD?
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[QUOTE=Aames;125761]I think I understand what you are saying. I should attach no importance to aesthetics as they are fleeting and not actually a representation of me? I can pursue them if I recognize my body as only a vessel and I separate my mental/emotional being from my physical being? You have really helped me think about things differently, mature. I have to thank you yet again for your detailed responses.Comment
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[QUOTE=mature;125827]
Exactly, but it is one thing to believe something and to apply it in that way, a complete other to know and realize that you are not that and to have no wavering distress or conflict through anything at least internally... Hair loss is extremely distressing and painful to ego not you, that's why some people get massively insecure and depressed over hair loss and others don't care about it at all.. It's just that different people find different things important but that's all in the form of mind and self image and whatever threatens that is heavily painful, even moving beyond it and letting it go..
I absolutely will; I have a ton of free time and really enjoy reading. Thank you so much, mature. Your comments have really helped me analyze myself and my behaviors that cause me distress. I think I now know the path that I need to follow.Comment
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BDD is awful. Many times I think I am through with the worst of it, but it always seems to come back. This month has been bad
Aames, I have read about your experience growing up....would you say your BDD was triggered by going from fat guy to good looking? (No offense, this is a serious question)
That exact type of situation is what set mine off I think. I was an awkward kid from about age 12 until 15 or 16....bad skin, no style, etc. Girls pretty much never noticed me, but nearing the end of puberty my looks took a 180.
This was when I realized, life is infinitely better when you have female attention/validation. It seriously is like night and day to me. & I think this transition is what mentally f*cked me up for the long haul. Ever since then I have had so much more to lose....when MPB hit (before I realized how well meds could work) I thought it was all over, like I was dead already
Does this ring a bell for you? When you have experienced both sides of the coin, how can you possibly go back?? Seriously, I feel like I would rather die than go back to being in that awkward kid's shoes man. I would do anything to stop that from happening
I think this is why I feel like crap when I feel starved for validation. I can feel my younger self creeping back to the surface, it puts me back in that mind set.Comment
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BDD is awful. Many times I think I am through with the worst of it, but it always seems to come back. This month has been bad
Aames, I have read about your experience growing up....would you say your BDD was triggered by going from fat guy to good looking? (No offense, this is a serious question)
That exact type of situation is what set mine off I think. I was an awkward kid from about age 12 until 15 or 16....bad skin, no style, etc. Girls pretty much never noticed me, but nearing the end of puberty my looks took a 180.
This was when I realized, life is infinitely better when you have female attention/validation. It seriously is like night and day to me. & I think this transition is what mentally f*cked me up for the long haul. Ever since then I have had so much more to lose....when MPB hit (before I realized how well meds could work) I thought it was all over, like I was dead already
Does this ring a bell for you? When you have experienced both sides of the coin, how can you possibly go back?? Seriously, I feel like I would rather die than go back to being in that awkward kid's shoes man. I would do anything to stop that from happening
I think this is why I feel like crap when I feel starved for validation. I can feel my younger self creeping back to the surface, it puts me back in that mind set.Comment
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I completely understand where you are coming from. Now that I have tasted what it feels like to experience the world as an attractive person, I could never go back. I agree completely. That is why MPB sent me on this spiral into caring about aesthetics so much. I would rather be dead than to go back to how it used to be. Attention, both female and male, just feels too good. I try to convince myself that I do all this just for me, but I don't really think that's true. The fat kid that just wants attention and people to like him is still inside of me.Comment
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Lost 75 lbs mostly. It's hard to see your facial shape when you hold fat in your face. Also my acne was non-existent for a time. This is the period when I had a gf and got a lot of female attention. I regained 20 lbs thanks to BED/bulimia and my acne came back within the last year. Struggling to get it back under control. I suspect binging and acne are related.Comment
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Lost 75 lbs mostly. It's hard to see your facial shape when you hold fat in your face. Also my acne was non-existent for a time. This is the period when I had a gf and got a lot of female attention. I regained 20 lbs thanks to BED/bulimia and my acne came back within the last year. Struggling to get it back under control. I suspect binging and acne are related.Comment
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I completely understand where you are coming from. Now that I have tasted what it feels like to experience the world as an attractive person, I could never go back. I agree completely. That is why MPB sent me on this spiral into caring about aesthetics so much. I would rather be dead than to go back to how it used to be. Attention, both female and male, just feels too good. I try to convince myself that I do all this just for me, but I don't really think that's true. The fat kid that just wants attention and people to like him is still inside of me.
I also have this nightmare scenario of people seeing me and saying "remember how that guy used to be? Look at him now!" That went through my head a thousand times when I realized I had MPB.
I have known guys like this who completely let themselves go in the last 10 years or just had terrible luck with genetics (MPB is the biggest possible image destroyer in your 20s besides self neglect or freak accidents/diseases). When I see how people talk about those kinds of guys I think, "if people ever speak about me like that it would be the worst depression spiral known to man"Comment
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The worst part is, no matter what we do, we all lose our image eventually if we live long enough.Comment
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Yeah, I think I share a lot of your fears. I feel I still have room to improve and that I haven't peaked yet. I don't want mpb to prevent me from reaching my potential.Comment
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