As it has been cold in the UK I have been wearing a beanie hat a lot......
I think I look reasonably good in a beanie hat.......it definately helps as it covers up my bald head......
What I have noticed when wearing the hat is how much of a difference people see me when I take it off......I think it is a surprise to them, a disappointment, a shock......
I signed on at a local gym recently. I of course was wearing my beanie and a pretty girl guided me around and helped me to get signed up.....
Next thing she says 'we need to take a photo of you for our records' *my heart sinks*. I think eff it and take the beanie off. I think she got a shock, she was like 'you look a lot different with your hat off'. I did not say anything, I am not very good with anyone commenting on my hair, I can't jokingly brush it off, it just annoys me.....
She obviously was not expecting to see my bald head and maybe I am wrong but from her reaction I assume she thought I was decent looking and then when I took my hat off she was like ohh, maybe not. It's so frustrating and depressing, it just makes me think 'what if', what if I had hair.....I'd be getting girls....but I am bald and screwed!!!
I went to a local superstore to buy an 18 rated computer game, again wearing my beanie. I was not expecting to be ID'd seeing as I am 28, although I understand the store has a policy of ID'ing anyone that looks under 25........I was asked for ID.....
I do find it odd and annoying that I get asked for ID when I am 28 but I took it as a compliment. Girls used to call me baby face at school and I guess I have kept my soft features....and maybe that helps me look young-ish.....
Anyway, I hand over my ID. Her instant reaction is 'Is this you' in an unsure but serious tone of voice. I don't take my hat off, I just look at her while she compares the photo to me, she goes 'ohh it is you' although she still seemed unsure.
Again the shock of seeing a photo of me with a bald head clearly shocked and confused. Maybe people don't expect someone of my age to be bald, or they are stunned that someone with a young attractive face has a bald head and looks terrible once the top of his head is shown. lol.
It just makes me realise even more that people clearly view me positively and attractive or young with my head covered but there view is completely changed when I reveal the truth. I already know the difference a hat or hair makes but it just cements it into my head and annoys me even more.
They view you differently because they haven't assessed you holistically (hair status) with the hat on. Once you take the hat off, not only does it reveal that you are balding, but it may be interpreted that you are ashamed and trying to hide your hair loss (may or may not be the case.) They re-assess you at that time. This is the reason I slick my hair back, don't use concealer, and do nothing to hide my hair loss (only do things to prevent it). I own my hair, and I feel much more comfortable talking to a girl with my diffused receder looking them right back in the face with confidence, as opposed to styling it or wearing a hat to hide it. Let me be explicit that I'm not saying you are hiding anything; you said you are just wearing a hat because it's cold. I'm simply stating that other people will judge you.
I catch myself analyzing people that way. I see guys on campus or at work who are very diffused and try to style their hair to hide it. Sometimes you just have to catch the right angle and other times it's beyond obvious even from many meters away. When I see these people, I see them as pathetic and without self-worth. It's a disgusting way to view people, but I have no way to disconnect myself from that perception. I get the same feeling when I'm with a girl and find out she has a super padded bra -- it's insecurity, and that is a negative trait that transcends gender, age, race, etc.
http://healthland.time.com/2012/09/2...-and-dominant/ Interesting study that kind of highlights my point: Hair is choice, bald has it's own perks, but extreme diffusion just looks like shit.
Oh, one more thing on beanies: I hate them because they mat your hair down. It makes the lack of density egregiously obvious. I'd rather let me head be cold, or I wear hats that have room between them and the scalp, so that my slicked hair can maintain it's shape.
I do look better with a beanie on and yeah I wear it in part from insecurity but also cos I look decent in it and because England is bloody cold. I even wear it in bed as it gets cold at night and my head is so sensitive to cold...it feels like I have a bag of cold peas on my head all the time. It is a mainly irritation thing from the cold as to the reason for wearing the beanie.
I do not wear it religiously......I have exposed my bald head for years. I have a shaved head so beanies do not matt or mess my hair up as I have none to mess up.
There is nothing wrong with being insecure.......most people are insecure about something, some people are born shy, anxious, even to extreme levels.....it is normal to be insecure about hairloss, acne, small boobs, scars........why be angry at these people. Some people are so anxious they have trouble talking to people and it is a serious condition. I don't understand why you have no empathy for these people....
for that matter why are you here if you are happy with your hairloss and confident?
Hey man. I hope the tone of my message did not come off as negative, patronizing, or condescending. I certainly didn't mean it to.
Trust me, I've been insecure about many aspects of my life. I had acne from age 14-17, have a big schnoz, and hair loss is the most recent one. I wasn't trying to come off as some sort of hot shot. I'll be the first to highlight any of my own flaws. I was a very late bloomer, and only in the last 2-3 years have I really been confident in myself as a student, a professional, and a man desirable to women.
I live in the Minnesota, US. Trust me, I know the cold thing. I've slept with stocking caps on. Further, I know how bad it sucks to need to wear a had, just to have it mess up your hair and exacerbate your apparent hair loss.
I will also admit I have a serious problem empathizing with people. When I see people with hair loss hiding, as described earlier, I feel no sympathy and instead I'm mildly disgusted. I'm probably just a shitty person in that respect.
Why am I hear if I'm truly confident as an individual, even with hair loss? Because I was not so confident merely a few months ago. I didn't know where my hair loss was taking me. I didn't know what treatments there were. I didn't know anyone in my real life to confide with, without feeling like a whiny bitch. I could never let me dad (NW7 since 25), who I love more than any other person on this planet, know that I was embarrassed of going bald, which I inherited from him. That would cause me to feel more shame than anything else. Further, since this forum has been good to me, I stick around to 1.) update my finasteride thread, 2.) answer questions for new members, 3.) I find many of the members here interesting and entertaining.
Again, let me apologize for my inability to verbalize my feelings with sensitivity. I did my best to couple everything I said with defensive prefaces and parentheses to make it explicit I don't know how you feel, and I was speaking more generally. So, sorry for sharing my opinions/perception with frankness and transparency.
Yeah i use to be one off those people who used certain hairstyles to hide my balding (only the temples at the time) that was when i was younger and before my "dont give a damn about what people think" days i was about 18 then i am 21 now...i never hid it with hats though i want hats now though cause im from England and like you said its cold here...i love to have a flat cap.
edit: redacted, was harsh.
But really, now. Come on. You're 28 years old.
I personally like hats. If I see someone dressed nice and wearing a beanie, depending on how they wear it, its part of the attire and style. I also like seeing the gangster backwards hat look with tshirt, slimfit pants. But the hat must be squarish on the head and not look retardedly round and weird lookin'.
Ne yo is bald too but he dresses nice all the time with a tophat that it just looks normal for him to wear a tophat of any sense.
I wear a hat when I commute to work and outside as it's cold. In the office or pub, the hat comes off. Do comments open up, yes. Do they also die down..yes.
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