Why everyone fears being ugly.

[yeahyeahyeah]

I had this dream and it left me rattled:

Last night I had a dream. It was a work party.

Was being ridiculed in the jacuzzi by the girls mainly. there were 4 of them. They were being shallow towards my looks by picking on me. I was being unreactive and cheeky. Trying to roll it off.
Then one girl went 'who would seriously want to **** you to my face', laughing, I snapped and lost my cool. I had remembered what it was like being ridiculed for years over them. And it hit me harder this time because I had my surgeries.

So I totally turned on the girl, became venom and went 'do you have any idea how it feels like after you've had 3 jaw ops?'

She felt like crap, I got up went up to my boss told him that i wasn't taking part in any of this anymore, and was quite emotional. Stormed off. My high value socially good looking saavy friends told everyone else off for me. They took my place. She left. Boss sided with me.

boss comforted me. I eventually broke down in front of him and started crying and told him that this is why i don't drink and was sick and tired of trying to gain respect and feel accepted.

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This is why I don't want to lose my hair.

I know how it feels like when you are unaesthetic. It's true girls laugh at you and treat you like a joke.

I think this is everyone's greatest fear - not being accepted. People not liking us for something we have no control over (facial aesthetics). And the uncertainty is what ****s us up. If I knew I wouldn't die alone and be with a girl of my choice I won't be bothered.