+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 18
  1. #1
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    5

    Question Suggestions for the girlfriend

    Hello, guys. This is my very first post in the community. I hope you wonít find me out of place here!

    Iím a girl, 24 years old, and my boyfriend, age 23, has MPB (dealing with it since the age of 16). He recently told me about his struggles with hair loss, how he's already had implants done and how he contemplates getting another surgery done somewhere along the next couple of years. Weíve been together for 1 year and I have always noticed how careful he is with his hair, but this conversation we had was an eye-opener. I never realized how his hair affected him. I feel a little odd bringing it up again, in case he might feel self-conscious and maybe even regret having told me in the first place.

    This community seems to be pretty open about the issue, so Iíd like to ask you all if you have any suggestions for me: is there anything in particular I could do or say to him to try and make him feel a little more comfortable in his skin? Iíve already told him his hair thinning doesnít bother me in the slightest, but I certainly donít want to brush off the issue as if it were unimportant; I want to make sure he knows that I am aware that it is an important subject to him, so I make it an important subject to myself.
    Is it better for me not to mention it at all, unless he brings the subject up himself?

    Also, I know touching his hair is a big no-no; is there anything else I should never do?

    Thanks in advance for any help you can offer.

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    154

    Default

    It's really kind of you to be supportive of your partner in this scenario has MPB can create a lot of anxiety. Just let him here from you that you accept it and he doesn't need to feel self conscious around you. It will allow him to realize that it's not just his hair that your keeping him for, which for whatever reason most guys think is why women are with them, except for the judgemental women, but anyway :-) hope that helps.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    Posts
    873

    Default

    Hi "theGirlfriend", nice to see you post on here. Honestly, I kinda wish more women would post on here because as guys, a lot of what depresses us about hair loss is that we will be a lot less attractive in the eyes of a woman. We fear that we will not be able to go out with the good-looking women that we wish to because hair loss makes us unattractive in their eyes. Quite possibly, that's what your boyfriend could be feeling: that he is becoming less attractive in your eyes and perhaps wonders if you may view other men as more attractive than him because of his hair loss.

    You seem to be a very empathetic and caring person just by coming on here and asking for advice because you're concerned about his well-being. I would tell him something like this: "I realize that hair loss can be a very depressing thing to deal with and I am very sympathetic with regards to your feelings on hair loss. But it's important for you to know it in no way diminishes my feelings towards you. I still love you and I find you very attractive with or without hair loss. And I will stand by you and will be there to support you if you find this to be very difficult."

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2011
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    594

    Default

    If touching is hair is a no no, he must be wearing concealer, I see no other real reason unless he's doing a Donald Trump comb over three times left of Sunday that will get majorly messed up.

  5. #5
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
    Antwerp, Belgium
    Posts
    259

    Default

    I think most outsiders often try to comfort balding guys by saying "you're not that bald", "at least you have more hair than..." or "you look fine", which generally is very bad advice. Most guys who are balding are more fearing for the inevitable and often think the outsider doesn't realize he will be completely bald and bad-looking in a very very distant future (1-2-3 years?) and might be dumped by the time he does. Make him realize, you'd even love him if he had zero hairs left.

    Also hairloss is kind of a personal struggle about losing your identity. Whether you're a male of female at the end of the day your hair is one of your most defining physical characteristics and something he has lived with during his entire life. It's kind of a thing the 'sufferer' has to get over on his own.

  6. #6
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Wow, I really appreciate your help!

    Quote Originally Posted by NotBelievingIt View Post
    If touching is hair is a no no, he must be wearing concealer, I see no other real reason unless he's doing a Donald Trump comb over three times left of Sunday that will get majorly messed up.
    No, I've seen his hair up close. No concealer there. It looks quite thick, so I don't believe it's because he fears I might feel it thinning either... I think he doesn't like it because he feels the area is too sensitive maybe, that more hair might come off if I run my fingers through it? He has in the past said it had to do with the fact he felt his hair was too greasy, but now I'm not sure I truly believe that; I think maybe that was something he might have made up so he wouldn't have to talk about hair loss. Not sure.

    As for the people who suggested leaving him, although I do appreciate a reply (whether it was to be taken seriously or not), I would not ever consider dumping him over this. And come at me with pitchforks and torches, but I actually want to someday be the mother of his children!

    The whole thing is kind of interesting; you see, there is this other guy (a friend of ours, our age). I always playfully tell my boyfriend that this friend is gorgeous. And he really is. After the whole hair loss conversation I had with my boyfriend, I looked through some of our photos to try and see what he sees is so wrong with his hair. I ended up finding one picture with all of us together (the friend, the boyfriend and me) and I noticed that this friend is nearly completely bald over the top of his head. Given that this is something that my boyfriend has always been attentive to, I'm pretty sure he noticed this friend was pretty much bald since the day they met (1 year ago); I've known this friend for the same amount of time, have always thought he was hot, and just a couple of days ago did I actually realize his lack of hair. And to be brutally honest: I still think is as hot as before.

    My boyfriend also told me when he was in his teens he went out with some girl and she made some remark about his hair, something along the lines of, "are you losing your hair?". Although I don't know her and absolutely hate her for making some comment that I now believe he will take with him for the rest of his life, in her defense, I think she didn't know it was a big deal to him... I think women in general have this idea that men get to be carefree and laid-back when it comes to looks. I personally had no idea this was such a huge issue in the male world. Women are always worried about cellulite, saddlebags, wrinkles, weight, shaving, etc. I think we often forget men have their insecurities with looks, too. So to any of you who has in the past heard some hurtful comment from a girl before, I hope you can try and do your best to brush it off. I think many of them don't mean to hurt you, and most probably don't even consider that it does.

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    154

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Erick View Post
    You need to dump him ASAP, we need this disease to stop. You might reproduce with him and ultimately carry this horrible pain with you or your children. So the best option is to never date a bald guy so we can put an end to MPB. Or you can have him castrated, your choice.
    what the ****?!!?!?! you've got it all wrong dude..what the hell.

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Posts
    105

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Erick View Post
    You need to dump him ASAP, we need this disease to stop. You might reproduce with him and ultimately carry this horrible pain with you or your children. So the best option is to never date a bald guy so we can put an end to MPB. Or you can have him castrated, your choice.
    When you see replies like this, it is a reflection of these individuals self image more than anything. It is not because they have bad personalities, but because they feel that hair loss makes them less valuable human beings. This underline the fact, that hair loss can have massive impact on a persons self esteem and quality of life in general.

  9. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Posts
    5

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger norwood's View Post
    When you see replies like this, it is a reflection of these individuals self image more than anything. It is not because they have bad personalities, but because they feel that hair loss makes them less valuable human beings. This underline the fact, that hair loss can have massive impact on a persons self esteem and quality of life in general.
    Exactly why I mentioned I didn't know if I should take it seriously or as a lighthearted joke... I'd rather take it seriously for the sake of people who actually do believe in this. But I honestly could not possibly even consider not being with somebody because of their hair.

  10. #10
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Posts
    1,573

    Default

    hair doesn't make or break somebody...in 20 years neither of you will be that good looking..you will be old and aging, so make sure you are with someone because of who they are.

    That being said, we are very close to some breakthrough treatments and chances are in 10 years being bald will only be a style choice.

Similar Threads

  1. My friend's girlfriend/fiance
    By FlightTL in forum Off Topic Discussions
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-09-2013, 04:21 PM
  2. Girlfriend knocked my confidence
    By jonnykino in forum Men's Hair Loss: Start Your Own Topic
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 08-07-2012, 08:42 AM
  3. What do your girlfriend/wife say?
    By the_dude78 in forum Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-17-2012, 05:05 PM
  4. How do you get a girlfriend with hairloss...
    By john2399 in forum Coping with Hair Loss in Everyday Life
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04-25-2012, 09:11 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts

» IAHRS

hair transplant surgeons

» The Bald Truth

» Recent Threads

Hello Everyone. I need some honest opinions
Yesterday 11:03 PM
Last Post By CorinWright
Yesterday 11:03 PM
balding on crown?
Yesterday 01:14 PM
Last Post By Artista
Yesterday 09:25 PM
Do NOT Have a Hair Transplant!!!
09-26-2016 04:30 PM
Last Post By Driver
Yesterday 07:17 PM
Post Finasteride Syndrome (Theory)
09-24-2016 10:02 PM
Last Post By burtandernie
Yesterday 06:48 PM
My Dermatologist told me I was thinning at my Temples.
09-26-2016 03:24 PM
Last Post By burtandernie
Yesterday 06:43 PM