Many procedures, much regret

[Alive4mykids]

I am 44. Started balding when I was 19-20. I was devastated and
fell victim to the lure of hair transplants. Had three
procedures with the now defunct long island medical
associates where I was butchered. Hair grew but
looked unatural. My hair was thick then and i was able to cover the poor work.
After a few years, losing more hair brought me to Andrew Cordaro
who played on my insecurities further and butchered me twice
more. More years passed, same problem. So I ended up finding
Dr. True in manhattan, and he actually helped me improve my hairline and shrink some scarring. Now, I am at my wits end. I no longer want
To continue with transplants nor do I even have donor area anyway. I have spent the better part of the last 20 years trying to find ways to cover my shame. I spend 2 hours every morning in the bathroom, cutting wigs and placing the hair among my own, keeping it secured with hairspray. I am so ashamed. I so badly want to shave my head.
I found out about HIS pigmentation but my wife will not allow me to do this. She won't be a part of it. She says that it will be another mistake. I have had suicidal thoughts but I know I could never do that to my kids or my wife. I lie awake most nights, crying. I have seen a psychologist but it didn't help. I
dream of being able to shave my head. Just get ready in the morning in a few minutes. Only a dream for me. My scarring is extensive and I also have little bumbs on top of the front of my head. Basically, I look like a freak and will probably always look this way. If anyone has any suggestions, I need them. My life is not a life. I have so much to be thankful for and to enjoy, but I simply can't bc I can't stand the way I look...and it is my own fault. Please help me.

[DAVE52]

Would you be willing to post a pic ( not inclduing your face ) so we can see what you see.
There is another site ( sly bald guys ) where I have read about guys who just shaved it all off , scars and all, and have never been happier for it .

[Alive4mykids]

I will try to post pics in a few days. Need time
to take them. I have 3-4 large strip scars. FUE scars, and the bumps
on top as well. Pics will come

[BigThinker]

How about investing in a convincing system? You'll get to shave your head and see what it really looks like. Further, I honestly think it would be less "shameful" (which I wouldn't call it that anyways) than hair spraying a cut-up system into place.

I don't know too much about system, to be honest. But that's just the impression I'm getting from reading your story. It's good to hear your love for your children and wife override the pain your afflicted with due to your condition.

Best regards.

[Alive4mykids]

Thank you for your reply. I just can't bring myself to wear
a complete wig. I'm already hiding. To me, that would be going
All the way into the cave.

[Aeroes]

Dude you make out like they are going to die because there losing hair. That's a horrible thing to say. Highlander, your posts are really cynical. Yeah hair loss it's horrible and can cause lots of anxiety. It's not the end of the world!

No one can make life more enjoyable for yourself unless you make the effort. Putting some follicles on your head, sure it helps with confidence, but your relying on that to scalp your life.

Chin up, there will be treatments. Smile mate, things are not so bad.

[Alive4mykids]

Thanks for being positive. I need those treatments now. I can't
live the way I've been living anymore. I also can't show myself the way I really am either. I wish I could be as positive as you. Its hard when you are a teacher and the kids point to your head with questions. It has happened to me many times.

[nicosandiego]

I had transplants that did not really work. Since then I have been wearing a piece for over 40 years. I always get synthetic hair which does not fade and can be easily managed. Amazing fibers that look great. My wife cannot believe I great I look and I can tell you that if you style correctly and take care to alternate pieces as you clean them and style them, no one will know you are wearing. I strongly recommend Hairpiece Warehouse...they are great at service and will work with you. You can cover the scars, look in the mirror and be pleased if you make the effort. I take about 1/2 hour to work on my hair each day and I look great. You can too.

[Aeroes]

Thanks for being positive. I need those treatments now. I can't
live the way I've been living anymore. I also can't show myself the way I really am either. I wish I could be as positive as you. Its hard when you are a teacher and the kids point to your head with questions. It has happened to me many times.

If your teaching kids, there not teasing you, they are just uneducated on what happens..i'm sure the kids you are teaching one day will lose theirs and they will understand. Mate you have a great gift of having children, a lot of guys on here can't even find a women to concieve with. Don't give up hope because you've lost your hair. Treatments will come out, look out how fast technology is moving.

[DepressedByHairLoss]

I really feel for you, man. I empathize with your situation and have heard many others just like yours, which have steered me away from ever getting a hair transplant. What really pisses me off is that hair transplantation is an industry that has never had any regulation whatsoever. Lots of these doctors routinely butcher and scar up their patients (and make obscene amounts of money doing so), and incur no penalty for it whatsoever. It really angers me to no end. I have a friend of a friend who has a similar situation to yours.

Anyway, if I was you, I would look into getting a hair system. A lot of them look really good and I know several people who wear them. I have a friend who wore one and was still confident enough to get up onstage and play with his band. I would look into that; maybe call up Spencer's show and he could give you the names of some places that make good hair systems. I'd try it out, you've got nothing to lose in trying.